Friends with a married couple... the husband cheated.. should I snitch?

[Broken arrow]

Yes he did something to you. He fucked over your friend.

Maybe he's not remorseful and he keeps fucking over your friend.

Either way, if you were the victim you would want your friend to tell you and would consider it a betrayal not to. What's that whole do unto others as you would want done to yourself" or whatever that phrase is

1st - fucking over your friend is not doing anything to you..... it’s doing something to your friend

2nd- you seem to love to attempt to prove your point by stating things that could happen but at the same time you ignore other things that could just as easily happen.

 

[DoomPatrol]

You seem really rustled.... maybe you have emotional wounds left from an unfaithful partner?

Would you mind addressing what I said regarding you not knowing what’s best for anyone ?

I’d also include that you don’t know what’s best for yourself.... we all think we do but the truth is.... we never know with 100% certainty what is best

Funny you mention that. Until then I totally forgot that I was cheated on in highschool by a girlfriend with one of my friends actually. Another mutual friend told me and I was happy she did. I got to make the choice. So while it as highschool and I didn't have kids, I have literally been in this exact situation. My friend told me because they were my friend. And I'm still friends with this person a decade later.

I'm not still bothered by it. I don't really care. I do find cheating as a whole to be one of the more disgusting violations of trust that you can commit with someone who you share a life and home with. If you would do that to the person you love most, I think that says everything about your character as a person.

You don't know what's best for the children, yet you claim you hide the information because that's what is best for their children. It's hypocritical. You don't get a say in what's best for their children.

1st - fucking over your friend is not doing anything to you..... it’s doing something to your friend

2nd- you seem to love to attempt to prove your point by stating things that could happen but at the same time you ignore other things that could just as easily happen.

If someone fucking over your friend isn't your problem, then you're a pathetic fucking friend. It's just how it is.

What you do to my friend, you're doing to me too. Otherwise, they're just acquaintances.

And what else could happen? You can't uncheat. The consequences for cheating are for the victim to decide. That's what is owed to them. The victim has a right to decide if they want to be the one to stay together for the sake of the kids or murder the cheater. Whatever bad can happen, the cheater should have thought of that before. That's their problem.

And you're a spineless fuck if you would look your friend in the eyes and know that you're hiding that from them. If that's how you are as a person, fine, but I think you're a bitch made type of person and I wouldn't want someone like you as a friend.

And most certainly you wouldn't want someone like that as your friend. If your friend hid that from you, how are you going to feel when you find out? So what it really is, is that you just don't care about anyone but yourself in the situation and you hold different expectations from your friends than how you would treat them.

 

[Rizzo]

Nope...bro code.


Buuuuut you are obviously in love with his wife so I bet you let it slip somehow.

 

[Magooglie]

Wrong.

If the lady finds out by other means, she will never know that you knew.

Why?

The guy would not sabotage you, the bro who kept his secret for him.
Plus the guy would not tell his wife that you knew, because it would make her feel worse which is the last thing he wants.

You could
A) tell her, ruin their family and you lose 2 friends.

B) let them figure it out on their own, the guy being the one who ruined the family, and you keep both friends.

C) let them figure it out on their own, the guy being the one who ruined the family, bang the MILF divorcee you've had a crush on for the last 20 years, you lose one guy friend but add one side piece.

If she finds out he was cheating on a trip that TS was on also she'll blame TS too.

 

[DariusTheGreat]

why????

and its not 'snitching', it's called being a decent person.

Cause its none of his business. He is friends with both and getting in between this drama is not worth it. He will definitely lose both friends if he opens his mouth. She probably won't believe him and if she did she will lay part of the blame on him as well. So if I were him I would say nothing and mind my own business.

 

[Unknown Pleasures]

For everyone who's saying not to tell, I wonder how you would feel if you were the victim? Like if it was your significant other that was off fucking someone else while your mutual friend was there, would you really not want that mutual friend to tell you that your significant other was sucking down loads while you were at home playing video games?

Not too good, obviously. But sometimes in life you are left with a binary option where neither choice puts a smile on your face.

I think it's called being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

[90 50]

Op’s Wife is gonna make him be a cuck for wanting to fuck the other dudes wife and being all hung up on her and not giving a shit about his own wife.

News flash while you are all worried about old buddies wife a real man is giving yours attention.

Better stop worrying about some other mans bitch and concentrate on her before someone else does and you next thread is about her cheating on you.

 

[Tycho- Taylor's Version]

I've seen a lot of responses like this....umm...lol wtf? I mean maybe if it was your sister, but on what planet do you beat up, or get physical with a guy for cheating on his wife? That isn't reality. lol
TS could have really stopped it by cockblocking via the chick. He could have told her "hey! this dude is married/has AIDS/is a serial killer/etc"

TS did his due diligence here. Can't stop a man from doing what he wants to do if he has his mind set on it.

I had the same reservations as you - personally I don't think this is a very common situation. Generally for me to be that invested in a woman's romantic life I would either need to be interested in her myself, or related (as you mentioned).

But if I think about the 2-3 women in relationships I am close to, moreso than their spouses, there's an understanding between us all that this kind of behaviour would never happen in front of me. Because obviously she would find out, and I would definitely lose my shit on them at the time. It's really difficult to imagine, partly because they're good guys, and partly because this mutual understanding makes an already small possibility even more remote.

I think TS' mistake here, given his investment, was not operating under a framework that was clear about these things. Best course of action at this point is probably to do nothing and reduce his investment for the future.

 

[koolinkunming]

Cause its none of his business. He is friends with both and getting in between this drama is not worth it. He will definitely lose both friends if he opens his mouth. She probably won't believe him and if she did she will lay part of the blame on him as well. So if I were him I would say nothing and mind my own business.

He will also be blamed if she finds out about the cheating and finds out that WOW was there to witness it but didn’t say anything. Just saying.

I had the same reservations as you - personally I don't think this is a very common situation. Generally for me to be that invested in a woman's romantic life I would either need to be interested in her myself, or related (as you mentioned).

But if I think about the 2-3 women in relationships I am close to, moreso than their spouses, there's an understanding between us all that this kind of behaviour would never happen in front of me. Because obviously she would find out, and I would definitely lose my shit on them at the time. It's really difficult to imagine, partly because they're good guys, and partly because this mutual understanding makes an already small possibility even more remote.

I think TS' mistake here, given his investment, was not operating under a framework that was clear about these things. Best course of action at this point is probably to do nothing and reduce his investment for the future.

He’s known her for 20 years. I’d say that’s pretty much reason to be invested, much like a sister.

 

[Unknown Pleasures]

Do not ever tell anyone that some one is cheating. I have before, and it was top 5 worst decisions of my life.

Sounds like you have a good story to tell. Go on.......

Edit. Saw you already elaborated.

So compensate:

I've known some people who cheated.... I kept my mouth shut. Those couples are still married happily ever after.

By two cents, best thing to do is let person know who is cheating that it puts you in an awkward position knowing. Say their business is their business, but keep it 100 percent away from you.

 

[Ceez]

Cheat on your wife too so he feels more comfortable to share his adventures with you

 

[GearSolidMetal]

Fuck him. Tell his wife, you might be sparing her the inevitable

This...

Also, fuck his wife.

 

[M3t4tr0n]

Ask for a threesome

 

[Ceez]

Ask for a threesome

2 sticks 1 chick

 

[koolinkunming]

2 sticks 1 chick

Lol. And so this Sherdog. We have come full circle in this thread.

 

[Ceez]

And so this Sherdog. We have come full circle in this thread.

 

[SmilinDesperado]

I had the same reservations as you - personally I don't think this is a very common situation. Generally for me to be that invested in a woman's romantic life I would either need to be interested in her myself, or related (as you mentioned).

But if I think about the 2-3 women in relationships I am close to, moreso than their spouses, there's an understanding between us all that this kind of behaviour would never happen in front of me. Because obviously she would find out, and I would definitely lose my shit on them at the time. It's really difficult to imagine, partly because they're good guys, and partly because this mutual understanding makes an already small possibility even more remote.

I think TS' mistake here, given his investment, was not operating under a framework that was clear about these things. Best course of action at this point is probably to do nothing and reduce his investment for the future.

I have a couple of female friends that I am really close with--I knew them before their spouses. So, if one of those dudes put me in a position like this, I would definitely be pissed. I would definitely be having direct words with them about it, and if they didn't come to their senses about the situation then I probably wouldn't be able to hang out with them.

I have a good buddy who was cheating on his girl. I was friends with him first long before her. But she hung out with our group often, and she was a good girl. I of course wouldn't snitch out my buddy, but I did have to have a talk with him about it. It's disrespectful and an all around dirtbag move to not only cheat, but then to involve others into it. It makes me feel like a piece of shit having to watch this girl think that everything is roses when you're actually fucking other chicks. He agreed, apologized and then broke up with the girl because he wasn't ready to be in a relationship.
TS should just have a direct chat with the dude about it.
He can explain to the wife why you guys don't talk anymore.

 

[Broken arrow]

Funny you mention that. Until then I totally forgot that I was cheated on in highschool by a girlfriend with one of my friends actually. Another mutual friend told me and I was happy she did. I got to make the choice. So while it as highschool and I didn't have kids, I have literally been in this exact situation. My friend told me because they were my friend. And I'm still friends with this person a decade later.

I'm not still bothered by it. I don't really care. I do find cheating as a whole to be one of the more disgusting violations of trust that you can commit with someone who you share a life and home with. If you would do that to the person you love most, I think that says everything about your character as a person.

You don't know what's best for the children, yet you claim you hide the information because that's what is best for their children. It's hypocritical. You don't get a say in what's best for their children.



If someone fucking over your friend isn't your problem, then you're a pathetic fucking friend. It's just how it is.

What you do to my friend, you're doing to me too. Otherwise, they're just acquaintances.

And what else could happen? You can't uncheat. The consequences for cheating are for the victim to decide. That's what is owed to them. The victim has a right to decide if they want to be the one to stay together for the sake of the kids or murder the cheater. Whatever bad can happen, the cheater should have thought of that before. That's their problem.

And you're a spineless fuck if you would look your friend in the eyes and know that you're hiding that from them. If that's how you are as a person, fine, but I think you're a bitch made type of person and I wouldn't want someone like you as a friend.

And most certainly you wouldn't want someone like that as your friend. If your friend hid that from you, how are you going to feel when you find out? So what it really is, is that you just don't care about anyone but yourself in the situation and you hold different expectations from your friends than how you would treat them.

If I steal from your friend, I’m not stealing from you.... I think the law pretty much agrees with me on this. What happens to one person does not get multiplied by all of that persons friends. It’s silly to suggest otherwise. You spout this ridiculous bro-code as if it’s a real thing.

Like I said before and you misunderstood..... I might “want” to know, but that doesn’t mean you “should” tell me.

Maybe the reason I “want” to know is because I’m going to murder/suicide the whole family

Maybe the reason I “want” to know is because I’m going use it as a trigger to shoot up her work

Maybe the reason I “want” to know is because I’m going to kill myself

The point that you keep ignoring (or maybe to dumb to understand) is that you aren’t god and you don’t know what’s best for anyone, including yourself.

From your posts in sounds like you live in a fantasy world and you’re unable to see truth

 

[gonads20]

Keep your mouth shut. No point in ruining someones life because you feel guilty at witnessing a man getting a piece of ass who isn't his wife.

 

[faustian]

Just rape the guy every time he cheats on his wife and make sure not to tell the wife why you've been raping her husband