Should I cheat or ask for permission?

You should just cheat. If life has taught me anything they’re already been cheating on you since day one.
 
Option 1: just jerk off in the shower like a decent husband

Option 2: Run the idea by her

Option 3: Divorce her

Option 4: cheat on her

Option 5: kill yourself
I have done 1 and 2, and have contemplated 4 and 5. I don't want 3.

(To be clear, we did talk about this 3 months ago, but I didn't have a willing partner in front of me then. Now, it's just so tangible that I'm losing my mind.)
 
If you really love your wife you should consider therapy. I don't think you're going to get the advise you need here.
I am open to therapy, but I don't see how therapy is going to help me get around the fact that I want to be tied to a bed and beaten.
 
Love my wife to death, but our intimacy needs are just miles apart.

Last Tuesday, I passed up an opportunity from another girl, who was offering to give me exactly what I wanted. The offer is still on the table.

What's less likely to lead to the destruction of my marriage? Cheating on her behind her back, or asking her for permission to have some fun on the side?

She might not find out about cheating but she will know you are likely to have sex with someone else if you ask permission.

People pay others to walk their dog when they don't have the time or desire to do it. If a person doesn't have the time or desire to have sex with a spouse, they shouldn't have a problem with someone else "walking their dog" as long as the dog comes home to them.
 
See the problem is I confided in my assistant, and she is extremely big on cheating behind my wife's back. Her view is that coming clean about my desires is more likely to destroy my marriage, and is a selfish move to alleviate my guilt.
But it already sounds like your marriage is in the pits, bud.

Give the Podcast a listen, Dan may have the advice you need.
 
If you are open with her doing the same, then yes
 
But it already sounds like your marriage is in the pits, bud.

Give the Podcast a listen, Dan may have the advice you need.
My marriage isn't in the pits. I love my wife. I just have fucked up desires that aren't going away, and the temptation to cheat is eating me alive.
 
If you're needs aren't that bad and it that big of a deal then just divorce. No need to waste each others time. Life is hard enough without having to worry about sneaking around.
 
I think you should try therapy and if that doesn't work then get a divorce then after you're separated start seeing other women, unless you want to basically screw yourself over in the divorce hearings. Do you really want to go through divorce proceedings with a history of cheating?
 
Love my wife to death, but our intimacy needs are just miles apart.

Last Tuesday, I passed up an opportunity from another girl, who was offering to give me exactly what I wanted. The offer is still on the table.

What's less likely to lead to the destruction of my marriage? Cheating on her behind her back, or asking her for permission to have some fun on the side?
Well instead of all that bullshit, maybe you guys should talk about what's going on. I don't know I think marriage counseling might help decide whether you should stay married or not.
 
And, since it needs to be said, my wife and I have an 18 month old son, and another boy due in March. Divorce is just not something I want.
 
And, since it needs to be said, my wife and I have an 18 month old son, and another boy due in March. Divorce is just not something I want.

Two 18 year loans make divorce expensive.
 
My marriage isn't in the pits. I love my wife. I just have fucked up desires that aren't going away, and the temptation to cheat is eating me alive.
Hmm. You should definitely talk with her. Tell her that you’re having desires(not to cheat!!!) that need to be filled, that are t being met. Try to be diplomatic, don’t point a finger and blame her. I haven’t read entire thread, I’m at work... but is it a lack of sexual intimacy between the two of you? No blowies, no booty? You have to talk about it. Maybe seek a sex counselor. But if she is fucking you regularly, I don’t know what to say. You can do whatever you want, but if you cheat on her... hate to say it, but it’ll make you a real piece of shit.

We all have desires and thoughts, so I feel you, but you shouldn’t act on those desires just because you’re horny. That’s some high school puberty shit. I’ll say it again though, if it’s a lack of sex and she isn’t willing to fuck you, maybe you need to talk to her about an open relationship.

Good luck, my dude.

I’ll edit this after i read some of your posts. If you want to be pegged, maybe start by having your wife use a finger in your ass while she is blowing you. Then start escalating it from there. That’s as far as I’ve got up to now, lol.
 
Hmm. You should definitely talk with her. Tell her that you’re having desires(not to cheat!!!) that need to be filled, that are t being met. Try to be diplomatic, don’t point a finger and blame her. I haven’t read entire thread, I’m at work... but is it a lack of sexual intimacy between the two of you? No blowies, no booty? You have to talk about it. Maybe seek a sex counselor. But if she is fucking you regularly, I don’t know what to say. You can do whatever you want, but if you cheat on her... hate to say it, but it’ll make you a real piece of shit.

We all have desires and thoughts, so I feel you, but you shouldn’t act on those desires just because you’re horny. That’s some high school puberty shit. I’ll say it again though, if it’s a lack of sex and she isn’t willing to fuck you, maybe you need to talk to her about an open relationship.

Good luck, my dude.

I’ll edit this after i read some of your posts. If you want to be pegged, maybe start by having your wife use a finger in your ass while she is blowing you. Then start escalating it from there. That’s as far as I’ve got up to now, lol.
1: Lack of intimacy is a big issue. Our only intimacy is intercourse 2-3 times per month, which is universally preceded by her requesting that I be as quick as possible.

2: I have never had nor do I desire receiving a blow job.

3: Don't care about pegging.
 
1: Lack of intimacy is a big issue. Our only intimacy is intercourse 2-3 times per month, which is universally preceded by her requesting that I be as quick as possible.

2: I have never had nor do I desire receiving a blow job.

3: Don't care about pegging.
Sex is intimate, but intimacy isn’t necessarily always sex. That is a low amount, and I know from personal experience that when you drop to 2-3 per month it’ll soon become 2-3 times per year, and then the couple splits or both parties live on fucking miserable.

You’d change your tune once you had a blowie, my friend. I can guarantee it, or your money back!

You can do the easy thing here, and cheat. Or you can walk the hard path and talk to her, tell her you’re not happy with the current sexual situation and that you NEED change. But you may also need to take a step back and figure out why her libido is low, why she doesn’t want you nailing her. Women’s sexuality is like 90% mental and 10% physical. Maybe YOU’RE not fulfilling some of her desires in some aspects of your relationship. This is a two way street and there is no black and white. Ask yourself what you could do to help get her juices flowing.
 
Take advantage of the option. Don't say anything to anyone. See if it helps or changes anything. Then carry on. I'm amazed by all the people here who see this as such a simple, black/white issue.
 
inb4 opie finds out that his wife has been cheating on him all along
 
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