Street Fight Truths?

[Jack Stevonovich]

 

[Adnan Adil]

They've already said it- "Always be armed!".

 

[Jack Stevonovich]

They've already said it- "Always be armed!".

That wasn't exactly the conclusion I intended to be drawn from that.

 

[fighthug]

1) Don't use headbutts in fight! Don't headbutt with your forehead, but instead of it use the top of the head!
Of course and very efficient in street fighting, yes, but do it right. as shown below.



2) Don't use punches! Use vertical punches! Use only the bottom three knuckles! Use open hand strikes and other variations of hand strikes (hammer fists, knife hands, finger jabs and etc.).
Not this is wrong, surely you should use a punch. as shown below.



3) Don't lift your feet of the ground except for moving! Don't kick! Don't kick high!
This is good advice. For if the adversary picks up his leg, he can bring you down.
In a street fight situation and good not to go to the ground because there might be some friend of his opponent and kicks his head.
If kicking is below the waist line.
Apply only low kicks


4) Don't grapple! Don't go on the ground!
I do not advise you to take the opponent to the ground in a street setting. For the reasons I said in the answer above.

5) Parry and block instead of avoiding the strikes!
It's better avoidance than blocking a coup in a street fight. Remember that the adversary goes hand in hand. He can with a punch fracture your forearm or your hand.

6) Keep your hands opened in front of you like in a MT stance!
The best position and this serves both for attack and defense.



7) The size doesn't matter!
Of course size matters. But it is not against an opportunist who knows how to fight with a higher adeversario. If you do not believe me, check out Saenchai's fight at Muaythai, Rocky Marciano in Boxing.

 

[Adnan Adil]

1) Don't use headbutts in fight! Don't headbutt with your forehead, but instead of it use the top of the head!
Of course and very efficient in street fighting, yes, but do it right. as shown below.

View attachment 504073

2) Don't use punches! Use vertical punches! Use only the bottom three knuckles! Use open hand strikes and other variations of hand strikes (hammer fists, knife hands, finger jabs and etc.).
Not this is wrong, surely you should use a punch. as shown below.

View attachment 504051

3) Don't lift your feet of the ground except for moving! Don't kick! Don't kick high!
This is good advice. For if the adversary picks up his leg, he can bring you down.
In a street fight situation and good not to go to the ground because there might be some friend of his opponent and kicks his head.
If kicking is below the waist line.
Apply only low kicks
View attachment 504075 View attachment 504077

4) Don't grapple! Don't go on the ground!
I do not advise you to take the opponent to the ground in a street setting. For the reasons I said in the answer above.

5) Parry and block instead of avoiding the strikes!
It's better avoidance than blocking a coup in a street fight. Remember that the adversary goes hand in hand. He can with a punch fracture your forearm or your hand.

6) Keep your hands opened in front of you like in a MT stance!
The best position and this serves both for attack and defense.

View attachment 504087

7) The size doesn't matter!
Of course size matters. But it is not against an opportunist who knows how to fight with a higher adeversario. If you do not believe me, check out Saenchai's fight at Muaythai, Rocky Marciano in Boxing.

Good reply, man! Only about the fractures of the forearms- do you believe that his is possible? The say that in bare knuckle boxing matches, fighters have used a lot of blocking and parrying. Also aren't the bones of the forearms stronger than those of the fists? And yes, even if you can not break someone's arm with punch, I believe it is going to hurt a lot. We were trying punches to the guard with a friend of mine (bare knuckle). He said that I've hurt his injured elbow. And about point 6- why do you think so? Also keeping the arms like this, isn't going to be in conflict with point 5?

 

[Crash Lance]

I love weapons.

I wish that I had nuclear bombs (seriously).

 

[Adnan Adil]

I love weapons.

I wish that I had nuclear bombs (seriously).

You should traing your fingers to be very fast to push the button rapidly! I have a friend of mine who always like to say when somebody talks about how the rules of some sport make it not so effective- Ïf we think in that way, we are going to make the combat sports fuller and fuller until we reach thermonuclear war.".

 

[Crash Lance]

You should traing your fingers to be very fast to push the button rapidly! I have a friend of mine who always like to say when somebody talks about how the rules of some sport make it not so effective- Ïf we think in that way, we are going to make the combat sports fuller and fuller until we reach thermonuclear war.".

Have you ever seen the film WarGames?

Nuclear Doomsday almost happened in that film.

 

[Adnan Adil]

Have you ever seen the film WarGames?

Nuclear Doomsday almost happened in that film.

From a street fight to a doomsday...

 

[Hotora86]

I am making this thread, because of all the experts who give different opinions. I've been training for a very long time martial arts and combat sports and I definitely feel very strange about tall those facts on internet and that's why I want to ask all the sherdoggers who have actually in street fights and/ or self defense situations to share their opinion on some of this truths or myths.

1) Don't use headbutts in fight! Don't headbutt with your forehead, but instead of it use the top of the head!
I have never headbutted someone or been headbutted by someone so here I can't share experience.

2) Don't use punches! Use vertical punches! Use only the bottom three knuckles! Use open hand strikes and other variations of hand strikes (hammer fists, knife hands, finger jabs and etc.).
I've always used mainly punches. I have never hurt my hands. Yes, I have some conditioning and also I use punches quite often for GnP. In my wushu gym we were taught vertical punches, but I can't remember a case in which I have used a vertical straight punch. And about the knuckles- I think it is less painful to land with the smaller knuckles and it is somehow more natural (just go on the heavy bag without trying to land with the bigger knuckles and see which knuckles are more bruised after this). Slaps and hammer fists have been used by me and they also have some effect. When fighting for fun with friends, with only body blows allowed I have used spear hands. They have effect, believe me, especially in the solar plexus or liver.

3) Don't lift your feet of the ground except for moving! Don't kick! Don't kick high!
Honestly in training I have always spent a lot of time for practicing my kicks. In street fight if I am calm I will use them. In hard sparring sessions I have missed to land a leg kick to the supporting leg of my partner after I caught his kicking leg. I was so pissed off, because he was going too hard. I have noticed many times that when the things are going hard, I don't use so much my kicks. Honestly I am not sure is it so easy to fall on the ground if you kick in a street fight. If your adrenaline is too high, you just don't kick, you rely more on you punches, it is somehow natural.

4) Don't grapple! Don't go on the ground!
I have grappled and use it to move the fight on the ground. I have never had a problem. I don't say that it is safe, but still the grappling is very helpful and might be s safer way to finish a fight. I prefer to control my opponents and to throw some GnP and the things become calmer very fast.

5) Parry and block instead of avoiding the strikes!
I block, just by absorbing the strikes mainly. I catch sometimes kicks, but not so often. I don't know what is the purpose of this rule, but if you stick to it, you are going to violate rule 4.

6) Keep your hands opened in front of you like in a MT stance!
Sometimes I use this stance. But in close range with punches in bunches I am not very sure that is going to help.

7) The size doesn't matter!
If you are top level athlete and you are fighting someone with less skills it is true. In every other caset the size matters. Yes, smaller people beat bigger guys, but this is so rear. I have always used my size advantage and I think it is helping a lot.

So guys, these are some the things that we all constantly listen. Most coaches look to these rules only through their MA or CS's view. What do you think about these rules? Do you stick to them? Does anyone think that all or some of them are useful?

Self-defense tips for men
Before I get started with the tips, you need to understand that this is not a definitive list. There is obviously a lot more to say about this topic but the concept of a “tip” revolves around practical information you can use relatively quickly or it serves as an eye-opener. It gives you specific information for direct use or it makes you understand something crucial. This is in stark contrast with “studying”, which means working hard and continuously to increase knowledge, understanding and skill. So think of these tips as a bunch of ideas for you to think about right now and see how you can implement them. They aren’t rocket science, there’s nothing in them that you can’t understand. The challenge is only in doing them.

Another point is that I’m writing with men and their typical mindset in mind. Sure, there will be overlap for women but right now, that’s not my focus. Perhaps another time.

Finally, the tips are mostly geared towards handling social violence. They are not as applicable to dealing with criminal violence where the rules are a little different.

That said, let’s get started.


Self-defense tips for men #1: Forget what you see on the screen.
The vast majority of movies and TV-series fail miserably when it comes to portraying realistic violence and self-defense. Unfortunately, there is just so much nonsense on the screen that it makes its way into the collective psyche and many men think that’s how it really is. Then they get into a fight and discover they were wrong. For example: telling a gangbanger “he doesn’t have the guts” to shoot you when he demands your wallet is a surefire way to get killed. Not for Bruce Willis or Jason Statham in the movies but for you, yes it is.

You’d think that all men would get this and I’m sure they do when they think about it while sober and alone. But pour a few beers into them, get them together with their buddies and they’re chest-thumping and cussing while they get right into that gangbanger’s face. And then they don’t understand why they get shot…

This is just an example and an extreme one at that but there are many more. Replace the gangbanger robbing you with a guy who quickly drove into “your” parking spot and the same thing applies: common sense is often lacking with men when they are faced with such a situation.

My point is this: the human mind, like nature, abhors a vacuum. It will fill in that vacuum in any way it can. So if you have no actual experience with violence, you will form your opinions about it somehow. And no matter how much you tell yourself that “it’s just a movie” your mind is still absorbing that information subconsciously. Given enough repetition, you might be surprised about how much disinformation you actually soak up. So forget about the movie violence or the way they portray self-defense situations and how to handle them. 99.99% of the time, they get it wrong. If you do have experience with violence, you already know this is true.


Self-defense tips for men #2: Live, love and be happy.
Say what? Yes indeed. Live a good life. Love your significant other, family and friends. And be as happy as you can be, every single day. If you focus on those things, you are less likely to make the mistakes that get you in the kind of trouble that results in violence. You’ll be able to let go of the issues that aren’t worth fighting over simply because you have something worth losing: a frikkin’ awesome life.

The trouble with violence is that it tends to escalate and become uncontrollable real fast. It is also an unpredictable beast: I’ve punched people full-power in the face and had them stare at me. In contrast, a guy was just put on trial over here for killing a 19-year old kid. What happened? The kid spilled some beer over his shirt and refused to apologize. The guy punch him once. The kid fell, cracked his skull and died. In front of plenty of witnesses.

That guy can now say goodbye to his life as it was before. He’s toast.

For the record, he had taken some krav maga classes. Guess what the lawyers brought up during the trial? Guess again about the kind of violent killer they portrayed him to be…

So especially if you practice martial arts or combatives, think twice before you let your ego and emotions take you places you will regret going. It’s easy to go there in the heat of the moment though, adrenaline and tempers being what they are. But if you have an awesome life to get back to, it’s much easier to walk away when somebody smudges your Pumas.


Self-defense tips for men #3: Know yourself.
The focus of men who want to learn self-defense skills is usually on the bad guys, the aggressors they’ll have to handle when things take a wrong turn. That is definitely an important issue but it isn’t the only one. Because it assumes that the problem will always be with somebody else, which is not always true. You’re half of the equation in a fight, your motivations and actions will definitely influence whether it turns to blows or not.

Sure, there are situations you can’t deescalate. Some people will go out of their way to pick a fight. But a lot (perhaps even most) of the potential conflicts can be avoided if you keep your head screwed on correctly. If you can keep it together, you’ll be able to focus on finding solutions for the problem, not taking his bait or just leave. To be able to do that, you need to stay cool. To be able to stay cool, you need to know what sets you off.

We all have our hot buttons, not much you can do about that. But you can be aware of them and make sure they don’t get pushed. Or at the very least, recognize when they are being pushed and then getting clear of the person doing the pushing. Before you do something you’ll regret later on or you end up escalating the conflict into violence because the guy pissed you off.

Putting it a bit differently: you can avoid the need for self-defense if you avoid the conflict. Avoiding a conflict is easier done with a cool head. So make sure you know what makes you lose your cool.


Self-defense tips for men #4: He’s human too.
That guy who’s in your face calling you names? The guy who cuts you off in traffic and flips you the bird? The one who’s eyeballing you with murder in his eyes because you bumped his shoulder? He’s human, just like you. There are reasons why he acts like that. Reasons you may never know or understand, but they are real to him. Everything I said in tip #2 applies to him too but it looks like he’s throwing that advice to the wind. Something (You? Somebody else? Some pre-existing problem?) is making him act like that and you can be sure he feels he is in the right and you are wrong.

This is true for most people, barring certain criminals and other populations: heisn’t the bad guy in his own mind. He’s the hero in the movie of his life that plays inside his head. To him, you are the bad guy. Obviously, you feel the same way about him but here’s the thing: you can both be right. Conflicts are not always black and white. You could very well both be to blame for whatever you’re getting into a fight over.

If you can understand that, it’s easier for you to walk away and avoid the conflict altogether. If you don’t feel the need to be right all the time and prove it to the world, you can walk away and leave the other guy to his illusion of being “right”.

Mind you, I didn’t say you have to like the guy or turn the other cheek. Not at all. Understanding his motivations in no way means approval of his actions. Feel free to think he’s an asshole. Or do what I do, pity the fool and walk away, back to your awesome life of which he will no longer be a part of, ever.


Self-defense tips for men #5: Get over yourself.
This tip is the flip side of the previous one: don’t be the bad guy to other people. A large portion of violent incidents can be avoided by simply getting over yourself, by not letting your ego or sense of entitlement make the decisions. Yes, it is your right to be loud and boisterous in a biker bar. But it’s not a smart move is it? It is absolutely your right to give that guy who cuts in line a piece of your mind; free speech and all that. But calling him a “shit-for-brains retard” is probably not going to do much to defuse the situation. And so on.

In so many cases, men let their testosterone take over and shoot from the hip instead of taking a step back. In part, this is because of how our brains are wired. But that doesn’t mean you have to accept this as an unchangeable fact of life. You can change your knee-jerk responses but only if you really want to. It takes a lot of trial and error, effort, time and determination, but it can most certainly be done. All it really takes is the conscious decision to get over yourself and then stick to it. Or to put it into a practical context:

Whenever you think “It’s my goddamned right to…” right before you do or say something, pause for a second and consider if it’s worth bleeding or dying over. If not, maybe you shouldn’t take it to that next level.


Self-defense tips for men #6: Leave.
Watch any street fight on Youtube or when it makes the news and you’ll consistently see the same thing: a crowd of people standing close by. Violence attracts attention, especially in men. They want to keep looking at it to see what happens next; it’s almost as good as sports on TV and in some ways even better. Some men feel the urge to participate, which is why you so often see guys getting sucker punched by a guy who wasn’t originally involved in the conflict. It doesn’t matter if you are just watching and have no intention of getting involved; violence is chaos in action and both the fighters as well as the crowd can turn on you in a heartbeat. One second you’re just standing there and the next you get punched in the back of the head.

The same goes for you as a combatant: just because it starts one-on-one doesn’t mean it will stay that way. As you can seen in the previous link, just because you “win” doesn’t mean you are safe from the crowd, even if they all left you alone throughout the fight. You can avoid all this by simply leaving. Don’t watch fights, don’t hang around. Just go.

Of course, the same applies if you are involved in the build-up phase of a potential conflict: if you just leave, the other guy(s) can’t hurt you, simply because you aren’t there anymore…


Self-defense tips for men #7: Peyton Quinn’s rules.
Peyton Quinn has four extremely practical rules to avoid and deescalate violent situations. They are simple to understand and put the information I explained in the previous tips into action very well. Here they are:

• Don’t ignore him.
• Don’t insult him.
• Don’t challenge him or accept his challenge.
• Leave him a face-saving exit.

I covered these rules in a previous post and Peyton and I discussed them some more in a follow up, so you might want to check out those articles for more information.

These rules are very clear and if you take the previous tips to heart, it won’t take long before you can use them in your daily life. But it once again takes a serious commitment before this can be the case. You need to want it to work. If you are secretly only looking for an excuse to go off on somebody, then you’ll fail miserably in implementing these rules and violence will come your way.

Which brings me to the final tip here below.


Self-defense tips for men #8: Stick to the mission.
All these tips are useless to you if you do not have a clear idea of what your ultimate goal is. You need a personal mission so you always work towards that goal instead of away from it. It is your commitment to that mission that will help you avoid violence and the need for physical self-defense techniques by implementing all the tips I wrote here. If you aren’t committed to that mission, you risk straying from it and going into a direction that ultimately leads to violence, even if you don’t see that at first. To put it with the words of a LEO friend of mine: do not abandon the mission.

Everybody’s mission is different and you need to decide on one for yourself but here’s mine:

Every time I leave the house, my mission is to return to it and my loved ones safely and unharmed so I can live a long and happy life with them.
Every time I run into potential violent situations, I do whatever it takes to complete my mission. If that means using physical self-defense techniques, then I am prepared to do so. If that means walking away when somebody calls me an asshole, then I am prepared to do so. Whatever it takes to stick to the mission.

Is this glamorous? No.

Is this what the movies show? No.

Is this what your inner-macho tells you to do? Hell no.

But it is what works in keeping you safe.


Why no actual fighting technique tips?
I didn’t write anything about how to use physical techniques for self-defense in this article. Some of you will be disappointed because of that. Here’s the thing: in a majority of situations that can lead to violence, punching the other guy is not the best solution.

Not only is it not always legal to hit the guy, you might not win when you land that punch. He might soak it up and then beat the crap out of you. Or the flip side of that coin: you might hit him too good and kill him. Remember the guy who killed that 19-year old kid with one punch? Wanna bet he didn’t think that would happen when he got all upset over spilled beer on his shirt? Do you really want that to happen to you?


Conclusion
Situations are never black and white, you always have to use your judgement and decide on a course of action. Sometimes that indeed involves knocking the other guy out. But in so many more situations, self-defense means implementing the tips I wrote here so you can deescalate the problem and accomplish your mission of getting home in one piece. Defusing and avoiding a conflict is not sexy or flashy, nor does it win you bragging rights with your drinking buddies. It’s also not what men do instinctively, on the contrary.

However, it is the most pragmatic solution to potential violence. It is the solution that offers the most bang for buck, the one that brings you closest to your mission goal with the lowest cost to you.

It takes a certain amount of maturity for a man to accept this. I sure couldn’t do it when I was in my teens or twenties. Now that I’m older, I see the value of doing it this way. I also have an awesome life to lose if I get into a stupid brawl with a drunk and end up in court, perhaps losing that battle and going to jail.

Does that mean I stop training actual fighting techniques and skills? No, not at all. These are not mutually exclusive goals as there will always be situations where you are forced to go physical.

What it does mean is that it takes more than some stupid behavior from a guy who’s messed up in his head to make me knock his lights out. I will exhaust all other options before taking it there. Just so I can get back to my life of fun and good times.

I hope you can do the same.

Source: http://www.wimsblog.com/2013/04/self-defense-tips-for-men/

 

[fighthug]

Good reply, man! Only about the fractures of the forearms- do you believe that his is possible? The say that in bare knuckle boxing matches, fighters have used a lot of blocking and parrying. Also aren't the bones of the forearms stronger than those of the fists? And yes, even if you can not break someone's arm with punch, I believe it is going to hurt a lot. We were trying punches to the guard with a friend of mine (bare knuckle). He said that I've hurt his injured elbow. And about point 6- why do you think so? Also keeping the arms like this, isn't going to be in conflict with point 5?

When citing the danger of fracture of the ante arm or the hand with an opponent's punch. It was just that there could be the possibility. It may or may not occur.
This posture of struggle for me and the best because with it you get mobility to avoid a glope, difficult to kick in the head and attempt to fall. And the hand and feet are ready for a counter attack.

 

[jonwick888]

every street fight is different and none of those rules are set in concrete the only solid advice is pick your shots carefully there’s no place for 5 punch combinations in the street. other than that spend your time training on the heavy bag and punch shield work if your goal really is to prepare a skill set specifically for the street

 

[Adnan Adil]

Self-defense tips for men
Before I get started with the tips, you need to understand that this is not a definitive list. There is obviously a lot more to say about this topic but the concept of a “tip” revolves around practical information you can use relatively quickly or it serves as an eye-opener. It gives you specific information for direct use or it makes you understand something crucial. This is in stark contrast with “studying”, which means working hard and continuously to increase knowledge, understanding and skill. So think of these tips as a bunch of ideas for you to think about right now and see how you can implement them. They aren’t rocket science, there’s nothing in them that you can’t understand. The challenge is only in doing them.

Another point is that I’m writing with men and their typical mindset in mind. Sure, there will be overlap for women but right now, that’s not my focus. Perhaps another time.

Finally, the tips are mostly geared towards handling social violence. They are not as applicable to dealing with criminal violence where the rules are a little different.

That said, let’s get started.


Self-defense tips for men #1: Forget what you see on the screen.
The vast majority of movies and TV-series fail miserably when it comes to portraying realistic violence and self-defense. Unfortunately, there is just so much nonsense on the screen that it makes its way into the collective psyche and many men think that’s how it really is. Then they get into a fight and discover they were wrong. For example: telling a gangbanger “he doesn’t have the guts” to shoot you when he demands your wallet is a surefire way to get killed. Not for Bruce Willis or Jason Statham in the movies but for you, yes it is.

You’d think that all men would get this and I’m sure they do when they think about it while sober and alone. But pour a few beers into them, get them together with their buddies and they’re chest-thumping and cussing while they get right into that gangbanger’s face. And then they don’t understand why they get shot…

This is just an example and an extreme one at that but there are many more. Replace the gangbanger robbing you with a guy who quickly drove into “your” parking spot and the same thing applies: common sense is often lacking with men when they are faced with such a situation.

My point is this: the human mind, like nature, abhors a vacuum. It will fill in that vacuum in any way it can. So if you have no actual experience with violence, you will form your opinions about it somehow. And no matter how much you tell yourself that “it’s just a movie” your mind is still absorbing that information subconsciously. Given enough repetition, you might be surprised about how much disinformation you actually soak up. So forget about the movie violence or the way they portray self-defense situations and how to handle them. 99.99% of the time, they get it wrong. If you do have experience with violence, you already know this is true.


Self-defense tips for men #2: Live, love and be happy.
Say what? Yes indeed. Live a good life. Love your significant other, family and friends. And be as happy as you can be, every single day. If you focus on those things, you are less likely to make the mistakes that get you in the kind of trouble that results in violence. You’ll be able to let go of the issues that aren’t worth fighting over simply because you have something worth losing: a frikkin’ awesome life.

The trouble with violence is that it tends to escalate and become uncontrollable real fast. It is also an unpredictable beast: I’ve punched people full-power in the face and had them stare at me. In contrast, a guy was just put on trial over here for killing a 19-year old kid. What happened? The kid spilled some beer over his shirt and refused to apologize. The guy punch him once. The kid fell, cracked his skull and died. In front of plenty of witnesses.

That guy can now say goodbye to his life as it was before. He’s toast.

For the record, he had taken some krav maga classes. Guess what the lawyers brought up during the trial? Guess again about the kind of violent killer they portrayed him to be…

So especially if you practice martial arts or combatives, think twice before you let your ego and emotions take you places you will regret going. It’s easy to go there in the heat of the moment though, adrenaline and tempers being what they are. But if you have an awesome life to get back to, it’s much easier to walk away when somebody smudges your Pumas.


Self-defense tips for men #3: Know yourself.
The focus of men who want to learn self-defense skills is usually on the bad guys, the aggressors they’ll have to handle when things take a wrong turn. That is definitely an important issue but it isn’t the only one. Because it assumes that the problem will always be with somebody else, which is not always true. You’re half of the equation in a fight, your motivations and actions will definitely influence whether it turns to blows or not.

Sure, there are situations you can’t deescalate. Some people will go out of their way to pick a fight. But a lot (perhaps even most) of the potential conflicts can be avoided if you keep your head screwed on correctly. If you can keep it together, you’ll be able to focus on finding solutions for the problem, not taking his bait or just leave. To be able to do that, you need to stay cool. To be able to stay cool, you need to know what sets you off.

We all have our hot buttons, not much you can do about that. But you can be aware of them and make sure they don’t get pushed. Or at the very least, recognize when they are being pushed and then getting clear of the person doing the pushing. Before you do something you’ll regret later on or you end up escalating the conflict into violence because the guy pissed you off.

Putting it a bit differently: you can avoid the need for self-defense if you avoid the conflict. Avoiding a conflict is easier done with a cool head. So make sure you know what makes you lose your cool.


Self-defense tips for men #4: He’s human too.
That guy who’s in your face calling you names? The guy who cuts you off in traffic and flips you the bird? The one who’s eyeballing you with murder in his eyes because you bumped his shoulder? He’s human, just like you. There are reasons why he acts like that. Reasons you may never know or understand, but they are real to him. Everything I said in tip #2 applies to him too but it looks like he’s throwing that advice to the wind. Something (You? Somebody else? Some pre-existing problem?) is making him act like that and you can be sure he feels he is in the right and you are wrong.

This is true for most people, barring certain criminals and other populations: heisn’t the bad guy in his own mind. He’s the hero in the movie of his life that plays inside his head. To him, you are the bad guy. Obviously, you feel the same way about him but here’s the thing: you can both be right. Conflicts are not always black and white. You could very well both be to blame for whatever you’re getting into a fight over.

If you can understand that, it’s easier for you to walk away and avoid the conflict altogether. If you don’t feel the need to be right all the time and prove it to the world, you can walk away and leave the other guy to his illusion of being “right”.

Mind you, I didn’t say you have to like the guy or turn the other cheek. Not at all. Understanding his motivations in no way means approval of his actions. Feel free to think he’s an asshole. Or do what I do, pity the fool and walk away, back to your awesome life of which he will no longer be a part of, ever.


Self-defense tips for men #5: Get over yourself.
This tip is the flip side of the previous one: don’t be the bad guy to other people. A large portion of violent incidents can be avoided by simply getting over yourself, by not letting your ego or sense of entitlement make the decisions. Yes, it is your right to be loud and boisterous in a biker bar. But it’s not a smart move is it? It is absolutely your right to give that guy who cuts in line a piece of your mind; free speech and all that. But calling him a “shit-for-brains retard” is probably not going to do much to defuse the situation. And so on.

In so many cases, men let their testosterone take over and shoot from the hip instead of taking a step back. In part, this is because of how our brains are wired. But that doesn’t mean you have to accept this as an unchangeable fact of life. You can change your knee-jerk responses but only if you really want to. It takes a lot of trial and error, effort, time and determination, but it can most certainly be done. All it really takes is the conscious decision to get over yourself and then stick to it. Or to put it into a practical context:

Whenever you think “It’s my goddamned right to…” right before you do or say something, pause for a second and consider if it’s worth bleeding or dying over. If not, maybe you shouldn’t take it to that next level.


Self-defense tips for men #6: Leave.
Watch any street fight on Youtube or when it makes the news and you’ll consistently see the same thing: a crowd of people standing close by. Violence attracts attention, especially in men. They want to keep looking at it to see what happens next; it’s almost as good as sports on TV and in some ways even better. Some men feel the urge to participate, which is why you so often see guys getting sucker punched by a guy who wasn’t originally involved in the conflict. It doesn’t matter if you are just watching and have no intention of getting involved; violence is chaos in action and both the fighters as well as the crowd can turn on you in a heartbeat. One second you’re just standing there and the next you get punched in the back of the head.

The same goes for you as a combatant: just because it starts one-on-one doesn’t mean it will stay that way. As you can seen in the previous link, just because you “win” doesn’t mean you are safe from the crowd, even if they all left you alone throughout the fight. You can avoid all this by simply leaving. Don’t watch fights, don’t hang around. Just go.

Of course, the same applies if you are involved in the build-up phase of a potential conflict: if you just leave, the other guy(s) can’t hurt you, simply because you aren’t there anymore…


Self-defense tips for men #7: Peyton Quinn’s rules.
Peyton Quinn has four extremely practical rules to avoid and deescalate violent situations. They are simple to understand and put the information I explained in the previous tips into action very well. Here they are:

• Don’t ignore him.
• Don’t insult him.
• Don’t challenge him or accept his challenge.
• Leave him a face-saving exit.

I covered these rules in a previous post and Peyton and I discussed them some more in a follow up, so you might want to check out those articles for more information.

These rules are very clear and if you take the previous tips to heart, it won’t take long before you can use them in your daily life. But it once again takes a serious commitment before this can be the case. You need to want it to work. If you are secretly only looking for an excuse to go off on somebody, then you’ll fail miserably in implementing these rules and violence will come your way.

Which brings me to the final tip here below.


Self-defense tips for men #8: Stick to the mission.
All these tips are useless to you if you do not have a clear idea of what your ultimate goal is. You need a personal mission so you always work towards that goal instead of away from it. It is your commitment to that mission that will help you avoid violence and the need for physical self-defense techniques by implementing all the tips I wrote here. If you aren’t committed to that mission, you risk straying from it and going into a direction that ultimately leads to violence, even if you don’t see that at first. To put it with the words of a LEO friend of mine: do not abandon the mission.

Everybody’s mission is different and you need to decide on one for yourself but here’s mine:

Every time I leave the house, my mission is to return to it and my loved ones safely and unharmed so I can live a long and happy life with them.
Every time I run into potential violent situations, I do whatever it takes to complete my mission. If that means using physical self-defense techniques, then I am prepared to do so. If that means walking away when somebody calls me an asshole, then I am prepared to do so. Whatever it takes to stick to the mission.

Is this glamorous? No.

Is this what the movies show? No.

Is this what your inner-macho tells you to do? Hell no.

But it is what works in keeping you safe.


Why no actual fighting technique tips?
I didn’t write anything about how to use physical techniques for self-defense in this article. Some of you will be disappointed because of that. Here’s the thing: in a majority of situations that can lead to violence, punching the other guy is not the best solution.

Not only is it not always legal to hit the guy, you might not win when you land that punch. He might soak it up and then beat the crap out of you. Or the flip side of that coin: you might hit him too good and kill him. Remember the guy who killed that 19-year old kid with one punch? Wanna bet he didn’t think that would happen when he got all upset over spilled beer on his shirt? Do you really want that to happen to you?


Conclusion
Situations are never black and white, you always have to use your judgement and decide on a course of action. Sometimes that indeed involves knocking the other guy out. But in so many more situations, self-defense means implementing the tips I wrote here so you can deescalate the problem and accomplish your mission of getting home in one piece. Defusing and avoiding a conflict is not sexy or flashy, nor does it win you bragging rights with your drinking buddies. It’s also not what men do instinctively, on the contrary.

However, it is the most pragmatic solution to potential violence. It is the solution that offers the most bang for buck, the one that brings you closest to your mission goal with the lowest cost to you.

It takes a certain amount of maturity for a man to accept this. I sure couldn’t do it when I was in my teens or twenties. Now that I’m older, I see the value of doing it this way. I also have an awesome life to lose if I get into a stupid brawl with a drunk and end up in court, perhaps losing that battle and going to jail.

Does that mean I stop training actual fighting techniques and skills? No, not at all. These are not mutually exclusive goals as there will always be situations where you are forced to go physical.

What it does mean is that it takes more than some stupid behavior from a guy who’s messed up in his head to make me knock his lights out. I will exhaust all other options before taking it there. Just so I can get back to my life of fun and good times.

I hope you can do the same.

Source: http://www.wimsblog.com/2013/04/self-defense-tips-for-men/

Man... if you stick to those rules... I have great respect for you! You must be very mature person, above the everyday things. Honestly many of those ideas are not far from me, but there are pleanty of people who would tell that this is cowardly and girly thinking. Thinking about many of those people, I realize that many of them have bigger mouths than balls.

 

[sjglazer]

I am making this thread, because of all the experts who give different opinions. I've been training for a very long time martial arts and combat sports and I definitely feel very strange about tall those facts on internet and that's why I want to ask all the sherdoggers who have actually in street fights and/ or self defense situations to share their opinion on some of this truths or myths.

1) Don't use headbutts in fight! Don't headbutt with your forehead, but instead of it use the top of the head!
I have never headbutted someone or been headbutted by someone so here I can't share experience.

2) Don't use punches! Use vertical punches! Use only the bottom three knuckles! Use open hand strikes and other variations of hand strikes (hammer fists, knife hands, finger jabs and etc.).
I've always used mainly punches. I have never hurt my hands. Yes, I have some conditioning and also I use punches quite often for GnP. In my wushu gym we were taught vertical punches, but I can't remember a case in which I have used a vertical straight punch. And about the knuckles- I think it is less painful to land with the smaller knuckles and it is somehow more natural (just go on the heavy bag without trying to land with the bigger knuckles and see which knuckles are more bruised after this). Slaps and hammer fists have been used by me and they also have some effect. When fighting for fun with friends, with only body blows allowed I have used spear hands. They have effect, believe me, especially in the solar plexus or liver.

3) Don't lift your feet of the ground except for moving! Don't kick! Don't kick high!
Honestly in training I have always spent a lot of time for practicing my kicks. In street fight if I am calm I will use them. In hard sparring sessions I have missed to land a leg kick to the supporting leg of my partner after I caught his kicking leg. I was so pissed off, because he was going too hard. I have noticed many times that when the things are going hard, I don't use so much my kicks. Honestly I am not sure is it so easy to fall on the ground if you kick in a street fight. If your adrenaline is too high, you just don't kick, you rely more on you punches, it is somehow natural.

4) Don't grapple! Don't go on the ground!
I have grappled and use it to move the fight on the ground. I have never had a problem. I don't say that it is safe, but still the grappling is very helpful and might be s safer way to finish a fight. I prefer to control my opponents and to throw some GnP and the things become calmer very fast.

5) Parry and block instead of avoiding the strikes!
I block, just by absorbing the strikes mainly. I catch sometimes kicks, but not so often. I don't know what is the purpose of this rule, but if you stick to it, you are going to violate rule 4.

6) Keep your hands opened in front of you like in a MT stance!
Sometimes I use this stance. But in close range with punches in bunches I am not very sure that is going to help.

7) The size doesn't matter!
If you are top level athlete and you are fighting someone with less skills it is true. In every other caset the size matters. Yes, smaller people beat bigger guys, but this is so rear. I have always used my size advantage and I think it is helping a lot.

So guys, these are some the things that we all constantly listen. Most coaches look to these rules only through their MA or CS's view. What do you think about these rules? Do you stick to them? Does anyone think that all or some of them are useful?

I would agree with all those and add: Try and close the distance and move into your attacker if possible.

 

[sjglazer]

I think you're projecting your own paranoia; it was you who first brought up the possibility of getting jumped in Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood to begin with not me lol.

I have been violently attacked twice in Toronto which is a very safe city. Once by a drunk idiot in a bar and once by a meth head in a convenience store. Lucky I have a lot of training or would have been severely injured in both instances.

 

[sjglazer]

The best self defense is humor.

I a read story of a sherdoger watching a group of foreigners in another country on the subway where after exiting the subway two of the friends leave and the other waits behind, possibly for another train, and the man accosts the third friend once he is alone in 'self defense.'
HOW DARE HE WAIT FOR A SUBWAY!

Try humor on a meth head predator. That shit doesn't always fly.

 

[sjglazer]

I have been violently attacked twice and summed up my advice here: https://qr.ae/TUfQPN

 

[yama ryu]

I am making this thread, because of all the experts who give different opinions. I've been training for a very long time martial arts and combat sports and I definitely feel very strange about tall those facts on internet and that's why I want to ask all the sherdoggers who have actually in street fights and/ or self defense situations to share their opinion on some of this truths or myths.

1) Don't use headbutts in fight! Don't headbutt with your forehead, but instead of it use the top of the head!
I have never headbutted someone or been headbutted by someone so here I can't share experience.

2) Don't use punches! Use vertical punches! Use only the bottom three knuckles! Use open hand strikes and other variations of hand strikes (hammer fists, knife hands, finger jabs and etc.).
I've always used mainly punches. I have never hurt my hands. Yes, I have some conditioning and also I use punches quite often for GnP. In my wushu gym we were taught vertical punches, but I can't remember a case in which I have used a vertical straight punch. And about the knuckles- I think it is less painful to land with the smaller knuckles and it is somehow more natural (just go on the heavy bag without trying to land with the bigger knuckles and see which knuckles are more bruised after this). Slaps and hammer fists have been used by me and they also have some effect. When fighting for fun with friends, with only body blows allowed I have used spear hands. They have effect, believe me, especially in the solar plexus or liver.

3) Don't lift your feet of the ground except for moving! Don't kick! Don't kick high!
Honestly in training I have always spent a lot of time for practicing my kicks. In street fight if I am calm I will use them. In hard sparring sessions I have missed to land a leg kick to the supporting leg of my partner after I caught his kicking leg. I was so pissed off, because he was going too hard. I have noticed many times that when the things are going hard, I don't use so much my kicks. Honestly I am not sure is it so easy to fall on the ground if you kick in a street fight. If your adrenaline is too high, you just don't kick, you rely more on you punches, it is somehow natural.

4) Don't grapple! Don't go on the ground!
I have grappled and use it to move the fight on the ground. I have never had a problem. I don't say that it is safe, but still the grappling is very helpful and might be s safer way to finish a fight. I prefer to control my opponents and to throw some GnP and the things become calmer very fast.

5) Parry and block instead of avoiding the strikes!
I block, just by absorbing the strikes mainly. I catch sometimes kicks, but not so often. I don't know what is the purpose of this rule, but if you stick to it, you are going to violate rule 4.

6) Keep your hands opened in front of you like in a MT stance!
Sometimes I use this stance. But in close range with punches in bunches I am not very sure that is going to help.

7) The size doesn't matter!
If you are top level athlete and you are fighting someone with less skills it is true. In every other caset the size matters. Yes, smaller people beat bigger guys, but this is so rear. I have always used my size advantage and I think it is helping a lot.

So guys, these are some the things that we all constantly listen. Most coaches look to these rules only through their MA or CS's view. What do you think about these rules? Do you stick to them? Does anyone think that all or some of them are useful?

Nice list but somethings imo were left out. Like if you do head butt aim for the nose , don’t punch but your going to punch something we’ve all been taught. Kicks can be used but don’t kick above the waist. Most of time you’re going be punching. Grappling going to happen ppl always grap each other . If this happens dump them on the ground. Try not to go with them if you do get on feet quickly as you can . Philly shell stance is good to use you can be in it without looking defensive . Remember in street no rules . Poke eyes , bite , bent and break fingers. Grab , twist pull the the balls . Best to avoid the fight . But if you can’t . strike hard and violently. Then get away

 

[Jack Stevonovich]

Grab , twist pull the the balls […] Then get away

 

[JKD sanda]