Getting a Divorce After 15 Years

[TigerUpperKut]

Btw, I'm never getting married again. If I find a good woman I'm gonna love her right this time around
The soon to be ex and I are civil and wanna co parent the best we can

 

[TigerUpperKut]

have you lawyered up yet? the most important thing to do is to protect yourself (and your future). keep any evidence you may have of the infidelity

No lawyers. We are in agreement on not making things nasty. We are gonna work together as parents to our kids

 

[Oliver Clothesoff]

I say get yourself in the best shape of your life. Maybe a hooker if you haven't gotten laid in a while (sounds like you haven't). Definitely do NOT dive into Drugs and Alcohol. It will only make it worse... and you might do something stupid....

 

[Amerikuracana]

I had a 14 year one. It's sad. Sorry.

 

[BassAckwards]

No lawyers. We are in agreement on not making things nasty. We are gonna work together as parents to our kids

i hope it works out for you but get one just to be on the safe side. she says she's in agreement but who is taking the house, the car, other property, stocks, etc.... there is never a clean split in a divorce and most of the time, the guy gets the shaft and ends up paying for everything. imagine her taking the house and the car.....and you still have to pay for it. imagine paying for alimony for the rest of her life. it's better to lawyer up and have the better hand.

 

[Oliver Clothesoff]

i hope it works out for you but get one just to be on the safe side. she says she's in agreement but who is taking the house, the car, other property, stocks, etc.... there is never a clean split in a divorce and most of the time, the guy gets the shaft and ends up paying for everything. imagine her taking the house and the car.....and you still have to pay for it. imagine paying for alimony for the rest of her life. it's better to lawyer up and have the better hand.

I agree with this. I'd at least get a consult, if only to have someone who understands the law advising you.

 

[skysolo]

Coke and hoes?

If you have children, I would prefer you set an example.

 

[Ladder Master]

I hear ya man. Marital issues I can get thru, but infidelity is something u can't come back from. She cheated

And we do have kids

Just out of curiosity was it a really bad decision one time thing on her part or a prolonged affair.
If you dont want to answer I completely understand.
Either way sorry to hear it. That is an awful spot to be in. I had an ex girlfriend cheat on me and
it sucks for a long time. I cant imagine the same situation in a long marriage.

Stay strong and exercise, do your best to not get lost in a bottle and drink alot while you are going through this.

 

[dildos]

Ive seen these threads before but never thought I'd be making this thread myself.

How do u guys deal with this and move on? I feel like the worst is yet to come before it gets better.

Hit the treadmill? Join a gym? Get back into shape? Coke n whores?

was the marriage the best 15 years off your life and you dont regret it though?

 

[TigerUpperKut]

i hope it works out for you but get one just to be on the safe side. she says she's in agreement but who is taking the house, the car, other property, stocks, etc.... there is never a clean split in a divorce and most of the time, the guy gets the shaft and ends up paying for everything. imagine her taking the house and the car.....and you still have to pay for it. imagine paying for alimony for the rest of her life. it's better to lawyer up and have the better hand.

I know how crazy this sounds, but we really aren't fighting about the split. Its gonna get legalized and we're gonna we're gonna make this as easy as possible

I say get yourself in the best shape of your life. Maybe a hooker if you haven't gotten laid in a while (sounds like you haven't). Definitely do NOT dive into Drugs and Alcohol. It will only make it worse... and you might do something stupid....

Was never a heavy drinker. I like a few beers but never get plastered. I don't like getting wasted. And no drugs for me. Gonna clean up my diet and stay off the drugs and alcohol

 

[BassAckwards]

good luck to you bro. like what others have said, go to the gym, stay busy, and work on a hobby. i've been there but luckily i was young and had no kids. i'm not gonna lie, it'll be tough and there will be bad, lonely days ahead. the pain doesnt go away but you do get used to it. best thing to do is stay busy. make small goals and try to achieve them and try to be around friends to help you get through this.

lastly, don't drink your sorrows away.

 

[Oliver Clothesoff]

Was never a heavy drinker. I like a few beers but never get plastered. I don't like getting wasted. And no drugs for me. Gonna clean up my diet and stay off the drugs and alcohol

That'll definitely help. I don't imbibe much myself these days, but I used to, and believe me, it's poison when you're going through a break up.

 

[Smokes]

Dont give up on her TS. Change Everything about yourself and win her back. Be the man you were 15 yrs ago and show why yall got married in the first placed. Beg, Beg,Beg

 

[chill doggie]

I also recommend getting a pull up bar so you can exercise at home everyday without needing to go to the gym. Compound exercises are the best to start off, pull ups, push-ups, and squats are great exercises. Going to the gym is cool for bench exercises and stuff but if you're starting from scratch you can save time and money by working on your consistency at home.
I started off by only doing pull ups everyday, 3 times a day. At first I could only do like 2 but soon I could do 20 and it helped me to focus on just one single exercise so I could see the power of repetition.

 

[dog y]

Make sure you've exhausted all possibilities before divorce.
I don't see a point in divorcing after 15 years together. That's like quitting a race before you've reached the finish line

Or is it like finishing last just for the sake of it? Perhaps its better to give up and have a fresh start while you still have time.
Well, only TS will know whats better.

 

[HARRISON_3]

Hit the gym, do some solo travelling, get a healthy new hobby, and go easy on the booze (if that's your thing.)

Maybe go hard on the booze and women at first, but you catch my drift.

Good luck, dude.

 

[neverwas]

don't trust a woman that says shes gonna fair and honest in a divorce.

 

[HomeRun916]

Ive seen these threads before but never thought I'd be making this thread myself.

How do u guys deal with this and move on? I feel like the worst is yet to come before it gets better.

Hit the treadmill? Join a gym? Get back into shape? Coke n whores?

Have a like because they are nice to get.

I always wonder if it will be me one day making this thread. Sorry bruh.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

Ive seen these threads before but never thought I'd be making this thread myself.

How do u guys deal with this and move on? I feel like the worst is yet to come before it gets better.

Hit the treadmill? Join a gym? Get back into shape? Coke n whores?

First off good to see you man, I swear it's been years since I've seen you round these parts

I thought about this in depth recently when my wife got seriously home sick and I told her I'd never stand in her way of moving home but at the same time couldn't live there myself.

Truth is I'd be lost on my own now, but shit happens and like you say, you put one foot in front of the other and you keep on keeping on.
Hopefully you'll find a path and a place in this world and you'll carry on leading a full life. You gotta love life to begin with though

Wish you the best dude, hope to see you around here more

 

[fungi]

No doubt That must be one of the most difficult things to recover from.
Having said that I know some people that worked through it and are doing great as a family.
If she is truly deviated about it destroying the marriage there might be a chance. Not saying either way but just throwing it out there.

Woman will not respect a man who knew she'd cheated on him and still took her back.

You can't build a family without respect.

P.s. imho.

Ts, keep your social connections updated, do not go hermit. Friends, family, co-workers, whoever, keep in touch with people/communicate/go out. Not necessarily a party animal. Just be and keep in touch.
It'll get better.