Fun Workplace Shenanigans

Cole train said:
Picking up construction guys to go to work from drunk tanks and jails in monday morning
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This happens here too. My father lives in the countryside and it's pretty well known than half of the construction workers don't show up on mondays.
The boss has to pick them up from police stations later.
 
I remember working on a warehouse when I was 18. We were 4 administratives and like 12 guys in the warehouse. Regular 8 to 17 job.
It a family business and they treated us like shit.

I remember the entire staff taking a nap for like 1 hour a day when the owners were on vacations. Productivity skyrocketed when the family was not around and we even had time to play cards, sleep and do other shit during that time.
 
Coded small program to scare my coworkers lol. I activated it remotely since I was system administrator. Exorcist picture would pop up and scream sound.
 
Cole train said:
Mentality of a construction worker never changes no matter what country
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Yeah. And with new technology new problems are born.

20 years ago in my parents village workers would get shitface drunk at a party, then they would get on their horse and it would take them straight to their home.
Nowadays they drive motorcycles instead of horses so there are a shit ton of accidents and DUIs.
 
SalvadorAllende said:
Yeah. And with new technology new problems are born.

20 years ago in my parents village workers would get shitface drunk at a party, then they would get on their horse and it would take them straight to their home.
Nowadays they drive motorcycles instead of horses so there are a shit ton of accidents and DUIs.
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This is why humanity needs self driving cars and robots.
 
Mike said:
What are some funny things you've done or seen others do at jobs? Here's some of mine to get us started
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I worked for a medical company/blood drawing labs as an IT manager at our headquarters. It was family owned, the CEO was an old man and his hot young wife was the president. They lived in a mansion around 15 min away and he’d send me to his house to do stuff to his computer or to fix his internet/VPN. I’d be up in his bedroom working on his PC and he had lingerie/semi-nude pictures of his wife all over his desk. It was funny I would just be in a meeting with her and a ton of people all professional then I’d be in his room with her half naked pics all over the place.
 
Spent a fare bit of time in the pub, while at work (waiting for concrete to dry)
 
mb23100 said:
This one is hard to explain but I'll try

One of our guys (John) said something to the new young and naive intern from H. R.(Sara) I can't remember exactly what it was but she took it the wrong way and it got blown out of proportion. H.R. basically said they know it was a misunderstanding but just watch what you say around her and avoid her for awhile. So that's the back story.

A few months later we had one of those "show other departments what you do" days where you take one person from each department around for an hour. John was doing the showing and Sara was in the group. We just happened to have Sara's picture as we had just taken it down from the Employee of the Month board and one guy put it in John's locker and drew a heart around it. When he opened his locker in front of everyone she screamed and ran out of the room.

Next thing I know (I'm a union steward) I'm in H. R. John is crying afraid he's gonna lose his job. Sara got a week off probably paid and was talking about a lawsuit. Upper management got involved Union got involved It was absolutely crazy. I never ratted on the guy who did it though. It was fucking hard not to laugh watching John cry, and I mean really cry, over this because H. R. completely did not believe him and was trying to make sense of it all. I just played dumb.

Tldr: yeah this is too long a story but it was hilarious at the time
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Thats fucking brutal... John should lawyer up. Hostile work environment. etc.
 
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Zergling said:
Romanians are some of the thriftiest fuckers I’ve ever known lol. Dated a Romanian girl once and couldn’t believe the shit her family would pull to save dollars
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Germans must be same way. We have over million dollar home but my wife collects water from faucet when rising dishes ,etc and waters plants in order not to waste water. It's disgusting seeing that tub of water in sink all day and she bitches when I toss it. She drives a Mercedes but shops at dollar store all the time. If I leave a 5W LED light on in an empty room it's the end of the world. Penny wise pound foolish.
 
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McDonald's as a teen:

1. Customer was bitching me and my supervisor out while she made his Mcflurry. He turned his full attention to me for a few moments, and while he did out of the corner of my eye I saw my supe spit in his ice cream lmao.

2. Guy cussed out a girl taking orders, making her cry. Another supe went back to make his burger and wiped the bun across the nasty floor.

3. Flipped off customer under the counter. His kid somehow saw from the angle he was at, and said daddy that guy is flipping you off :eek: The dad did not believe him and proceeded to yell at the kid lol.

4. Lady got pissed at me and threw some change at me. I threw her bag of fries back at her, beaning her in the side of the head lmao
 
Mike said:
What are some funny things you've done or seen others do at jobs? Here's some of mine to get us started

Call center for a major wireless company:

1. Spent like 2 hours going back and forth with this asshole yelling about his bill. Had a I'm gonna talk to you however I want, the fuck are you gonna do about it attitude. So when we got off the phone I changed his calling plan in a way that guaranteed his next bill would be over $1000. I put notes in his account in Corporate Speak explaining that I advised him against it but he insisted. Wrote the number down and checked the account months later. He was calling every few days screaming about the bill insisting I had fucked up his account, trying and failing to get credits.

2. A girl used to transfer everyone that yelled at her to Virgin Mobile, known to have a labyrinthine automated system nearly impossible to escape. Then she'd put herself on mute and cackle like a witch while they cussed out the automated system.

3. I'm looking through a customers account trying to fix something fucked up, with a supervisor looking over my shoulder trying to help. I'm reading through the notes on the account and start just dying laughing. A rep had used the Send Text feature to send this girl a text on her phone trying to holler at her, after helping her on a call. Supe is not amused, recognizes the name. Walks two rows of cubicles over and literally yanks a dude out of his seat and walks him out of the building on the spot. Turns out dude was in the same building lol.

I'll add more from other jobs shortly.
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Guy I'm still really good friends with waited for me to go to the toilet, when I got back he had all my pens in between his toes. I have a thing about pens like I adore pretty stationery but he knows I hate things in between my toes. He had his feet on my desk showing them off as soon as I walked back in.

He and I put boot polish on someone's ear part of his desk phone. Called him and then giggled like idiots knowing he didn't know and his ear had black boot polish all over it.
 
fingercuffs said:
Guy I'm still really good friends with waited for me to go to the toilet, when I got back he had all my pens in between his toes. I have a thing about pens like I adore pretty stationery but he knows I hate things in between my toes. He had his feet on my desk showing them off as soon as I walked back in.

He and I put boot polish on someone's ear part of his desk phone. Called him and then giggled like idiots knowing he didn't know and his ear had black boot polish all over it.
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<36>
 
@Mike
Forgot. A colleague who really stitched me up was on his 3 strikes and you're out on his driving license. As in if he was done for speeding he would be banned from driving for a year.

I lent him my company car to go to a meeting. A week or so later I told him I'd had a letter from the equivalent of the DMV that my car had been caught speeding in the place he took my car at the same time. He was flipping out thinking he was going to lose his license, didn't know what to do with himself. To say I'm vindictive if you cross me doesn't really cover it :D
 
- I remember working at Burger King as a teen and hearing my manager arguing with a woman in the drive thru. I recognized it was my loud mouthed annoying aunt and hid in the back for a few minutes until she left

- Worked at a movie theater and it was so dead one night I went and took a nap in the theater front row. No one was in there because it was a weeknight but I was still on the clock . My boss and other co workers didn't see me for like 45 minutes LOL

- Me and this dude I went to school with worked at a Fred Meyer's and we would get bums to buy us a six pack of beer and we let them keep the change. We drank them in the bottle return room because no one was allowed in there except staff. I remember security telling us, "we know you guys were in there drinking Red Devils on your shift." They never said anything to management though
 
Back in high school I worked at a McDonald's that was across the street from a bar and an ABC. Closing on Saturday nights sucked hard. Shitfaced assholes bombed out of their minds would spill in while we were getting ready to shut down and go home. The restrooms would look like someone had dropped a shit nuke in it. Even though, all these drunks were dudes, they'd manage to fuck up the ladies room as well.

Our manager was an Indian guy named Ajeet, and he didn't take kindly to some of the epithets tossed in his direction by these future friends of Bill.

After one particularly colorful exchange, whenever anyone of these gentlemen came to our establishment late Saturday night and ordered food, no matter what they ordered, Ajeet would give them a "McThin Burger".

The first time I saw a guy scarf down a McThin burger, I went out the backdoor and puked. I was soon joined by a few co-workers.

After that, every time I saw a guy eating a McThin burger, it was simply an exercise in wonder.

How fucking drunk do you have to be to not know that the "meat" in your burger is nothing but a thin smear of human shit? For fuck's sake, it smelled like shit and curry.

Hat's off to Ajeet for going the extra mile. No dog or cat shit for him. He used his own. Never knew where he kept his supply of McThin burgers and I didn't want to know. He'd have a stupid grin on his face each time he sold a McThin Burger. I once asked him "Dude, Ajeet, why are you so happy?"

He fucking looked me dead in the eye and said "That drunk dipshit just paid me for the privilege of eating my ass."
 
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