Should I get a place with my girl and her kid?

[Oregonmma]

So my lease on my apartment is up this month. If I re sign I'll be paying $1750 a month for a 1bd 1ba 600sq ft apartment. I've been seeing this girl (Whom I've known for around 5-6 years) for about 4 months and we spend 2-4 days a week together. She has a 2/3 year old kid and her lease is up this month too. I'm sick of not being able to save much money so we are talking about getting a 2bd 2ba 1000sq ft apartment for $1800-2000. We've already found a few we like and I'm just going over everything in my head. The goal is to be able to buy a house sooner than later. Here are the pros and cons

Pros

1. Will be able to save around $1000+ a month
2. Bigger apartment
3. Won't have to pay for a parking spot
4. Sex on the regs

Cons.

1. Will be a 30-45 min commute to work instead of a 10 min commute
2. Will live with a 2/3 year old every other week
3. Have to drive everywhere rather than just walking to any bar/store I wanted like my current place
4. Moving sucks

Currently live in Portland, OR and would be moving to Vancouver, WA if I did move.....

Thoughts?

 

[Swiftie]

Need pic of girlfriend before I give advice.

 

[Dream Evil]

Bold move to essentially become the stepdad when you've been with the girl 4 months. I see some of the benefits but I'd be weary.

 

[TheCatofCats]

Life is short, 70% of my high school class are no longer with us.

Go for it!

 

[Oregonmma]

Need pic of girlfriend before I give advice.

No pic but she's 5'4" brunette with a fit body and a big nice ass. One of the chillest girls I've known and we get along very very well.

 

[Get To Da Choppa]

So my lease on my apartment is up this month. If I re sign I'll be paying $1750 a month for a 1bd 1ba 600sq ft apartment. I've been seeing this girl (Whom I've known for around 5-6 years) for about 4 months and we spend 2-4 days a week together. She has a 2/3 year old kid and her lease is up this month too. I'm sick of not being able to save much money so we are talking about getting a 2bd 2ba 1000sq ft apartment for $1800-2000. We've already found a few we like and I'm just going over everything in my head. The goal is to be able to buy a house sooner than later. Here are the pros and cons

Pros

1. Will be able to save around $1000+ a month
2. Bigger apartment
3. Won't have to pay for a parking spot
4. Sex on the regs

Cons.

1. Will be a 30-45 min commute to work instead of a 10 min commute
2. Will live with a 2/3 year old every other week
3. Have to drive everywhere rather than just walking to any bar/store I wanted like my current place
4. Moving sucks

Currently live in Portland, OR and would be moving to Vancouver, WA if I did move.....

Thoughts?

I was expecting that this'll be with the dominatrix you met a few months ago, and you'll start a Sherdog/Onlyfans collaboration

 

[Oregonmma]

Bold move to essentially become the stepdad when you've been with the girl 4 months. I see some of the benefits but I'd be weary.

She would never expect me to do anything for her kid that she couldn't do herself. She's a great mother. The kid would also be with his dad every other week.

 

[jcc3508]

Have you spent a lot of time around this kid?

Out of all the factors you mentioned, cohabitating and perhaps parenting and or dealing with the kid will be your biggest factor by far. Do you see yourself dealing with this for the long term?

Can you get a 2bd/2ba in your same apartment complex (even if its pricier than $2k) that you can arrange a short term lease for a couple of months to try it out?

 

[HomeCheese]

Gotta be careful with a mom, it's delicate as you have already learned.

Before the finances I would ask you do you love this woman? Can you see it working out long term? If yes then go for it and make the most of the opportunity to be in the child's life.

If you don't see it working out long term then it is not worth it. The hassle of ending it would outweigh any saving you might gain.

 

[jcc3508]

She would never expect me to do anything for her kid that she couldn't do herself. She's a great mother. The kid would also be with his dad every other week.

Ha ha ha

Sorry to rain on your parade but you'll have to do chores/stuff for the kid.

 

[chrisdiaz]

Once she moves in you are fucked, I would not suggest it unless you plan on marrying her.

 

[jcc3508]

Gotta be careful with a mom, it's delicate as you have already learned.

Before the finances I would ask you do you love this woman? Can you see it working out long term? If yes then go for it and make the most of the opportunity to be in the child's life.

If you don't see it working out long term then it is not worth it. The hassle of ending it would outweigh any saving you might gain.

This is also very good advice.

 

[Pliny Pete]

When you move in together you become a stepfather to that child whether you want to or not, that child is now also your responsibility because he lives in your home, is that something youre ready for?

 

[lsa]

is her child named @Slobodan ?
Because if he is, spank that fucker daily.
The world thanks you

 

[biscuitsbrah]

Go for it and tell us in 6 months how it went/is going

 

[Halifax]

So my lease on my apartment is up this month. If I re sign I'll be paying $1750 a month for a 1bd 1ba 600sq ft apartment. I've been seeing this girl (Whom I've known for around 5-6 years) for about 4 months and we spend 2-4 days a week together. She has a 2/3 year old kid and her lease is up this month too. I'm sick of not being able to save much money so we are talking about getting a 2bd 2ba 1000sq ft apartment for $1800-2000. We've already found a few we like and I'm just going over everything in my head. The goal is to be able to buy a house sooner than later. Here are the pros and cons

Pros

1. Will be able to save around $1000+ a month
2. Bigger apartment
3. Won't have to pay for a parking spot
4. Sex on the regs

Cons.

1. Will be a 30-45 min commute to work instead of a 10 min commute
2. Will live with a 2/3 year old every other week
3. Have to drive everywhere rather than just walking to any bar/store I wanted like my current place
4. Moving sucks

Currently live in Portland, OR and would be moving to Vancouver, WA if I did move.....

Thoughts?

For both of you? or just you.

Wait till those "need to you pick up your kid right away" daycare calls come in. Soon enough, she will say she had to leave work early so many times that you have to start picking the kid up or she will lose her job. Unless she has a mother who lives nearby or something

Saving money and a better place is nice. but just jumping in with a girl with a 3 year old is going to be a full time job at home. your time off is no longer your time off. Fuck, I used to go to work extra to get a break. If this relationship gets serious, expect that extra money you save to start going to split childcare and shit. i guarantee that's coming. "if you are serious about this relationship, it should be like a family and we have a joint bank account"

She will wait a year to drop that hammer, and if you balk, she likely moves out and you get stuck with the lease when she disappears. Girls with kids will make you walk the plank of decision a lot faster than single girls will and say "my child is getting attached to you, we need to know now if this is serious".

 

[cowboyjunkie]

I know a guy who pays child support on a kid that isn’t his. This could be you in the future. I would make sure that she isn’t in any credit card debt and find out the truth as to why she’s not with her ex.

Otherwise, go for it.

 

[Renard]

Sounds like it's all about money, which is a bad reason to live with someone. You don't sound like you care for the girlfriend that much, and you definitely don't seem to care for the kid at all. Imo it's psychologically damaging for a kid to be around someone who literally only thinks of them as some sort of nuisance.

 

[Oregonmma]

I was expecting that this'll be with the dominatrix you met a few months ago, and you'll start a Sherdog/Onlyfans collaboration

Could still happen if I want it to

 

[Iron Mang]

So my lease on my apartment is up this month. If I re sign I'll be paying $1750 a month for a 1bd 1ba 600sq ft apartment. I've been seeing this girl (Whom I've known for around 5-6 years) for about 4 months and we spend 2-4 days a week together. She has a 2/3 year old kid and her lease is up this month too. I'm sick of not being able to save much money so we are talking about getting a 2bd 2ba 1000sq ft apartment for $1800-2000. We've already found a few we like and I'm just going over everything in my head. The goal is to be able to buy a house sooner than later. Here are the pros and cons

Pros

1. Will be able to save around $1000+ a month
2. Bigger apartment
3. Won't have to pay for a parking spot
4. Sex on the regs

Cons.

1. Will be a 30-45 min commute to work instead of a 10 min commute
2. Will live with a 2/3 year old every other week
3. Have to drive everywhere rather than just walking to any bar/store I wanted like my current place
4. Moving sucks

Currently live in Portland, OR and would be moving to Vancouver, WA if I did move.....

Thoughts?

Moving in together is a big commitment. If you are down for that and can see a future with this person, then go for it. But just try and keep your patience while getting used to the new environment.