Should I cheat or ask for permission?

Yup. Cuddling. Kissing. And torture. The trinity of intimacy.

Ah. Okay. So you want your wife to torture you and it sounds like she already is

So you’ve already won

But honestly man if you want a woman to beat the hell out of you for sexual pleasure and your wife won’t do it, don’t cheat on her. For all the reasons you shouldn’t cheat anyway + she is going to figure that shit out when you have scars and bruises all over your body, alongside an irremovable smile and satisfied gaze
 
Why not try couples counseling instead of being a piece of shit and cheating on the women you swore yourself to through the best and worst of times?

Seriously this shit isn't hard. Talk to your wife about her sexual behavior and tell her how you feel. Go to counseling together and work on your relationship.

I have to imagine that if you spent that energy into getting your wife into the mood instead of hitting on another piece of ass, you might get results.

Really I find cheaters to be straight up scum. If you go through the process correctly with your wife, either things will change or you'll be in a position to bring up an honest and fair open relationship. But every open relationship I've seen only works out for the women. Inevitably she'll start dating other men and get more sex then you, and you'll get mad. Or she'll get mad and want to leave.

Don't be a piece of shit and cheat. Maybe you need a hard look at yourself to see why she isn't attracted to you anymore?
I'm not sure how couple's counselling is going to 1: change the fact that I have fucked up submissive fantasies, and 2: make my wife want to be intimate, when she has described multiple times that she's satisfied with our relationship.
 
I'm not sure how couple's counselling is going to 1: change the fact that I have fucked up submissive fantasies, and 2: make my wife want to be intimate, when she has described multiple times that she's satisfied with our relationship.

Well couples counseling is exactly for situations like this. It's healthy environment designed to allow you to work out your differences in a relationship.

And I'm not sure what you cheating on your wife has to do with a submissive fantasy. Fantasies are fine as long as they aren't hurting people, and cheating to fulfill your fantasy is hurting the person you're supposed to love most.

Couples counseling can help you find a good compromise with her. It can also help her learn to manage her own desires to fit your needs.

The entire point of couples counseling is to help couples who have problems, and trust me you don't have any problems an experienced psychologist hasn't already heard before. Their entire goal is a healthy, honest, and satisfying change for both of you.

Really man, cheating on your wife is some punk shit.

It's that simple. There's no justification for it. If things are really that bad, you should be spending your energy saving your marriage or splitting up not running off with someone else. You swore an oath to that woman to love her for life. You don't have to stay married if you can't work out your issues, but cheating isn't the answer. Be a fucking real man and handle your obligations.
 
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Yes, the plan is for her to tie me to her bed and torture me, among other fucked up shit. She's somehow more fucked in the head than I am.
Dude that's not really cheating.. it's just vigorous sport.
 
I'm not sure how couple's counselling is going to 1: change the fact that I have fucked up submissive fantasies, and 2: make my wife want to be intimate, when she has described multiple times that she's satisfied with our relationship.

How often do you and your wife have sex?
 
Love my wife to death, but our intimacy needs are just miles apart.

Last Tuesday, I passed up an opportunity from another girl, who was offering to give me exactly what I wanted. The offer is still on the table.

What's less likely to lead to the destruction of my marriage? Cheating on her behind her back, or asking her for permission to have some fun on the side?

Ok, well first of all, what exactly do you want? Spill it.

I'd probably try therapy first before talking to other women or divorce. That is, if you feel in your heart your marriage is worth saving. But if deep down you know it's not, then just go bang the other chick.
 
go to fetlife.com and find a dominatrix/cuddler in your area. 7 pages. how old r u guys?
 
why don't you just tell your wife you are into some bdsm? who knows, maybe she will like it too.
 
go to fetlife.com and find a dominatrix/cuddler in your area. 7 pages. how old r u guys?
Umm... I literally just did that, and met up with her on Tuesday, and ended up back at her place, where we both decided it was for the best that I not cheat on my wife.

Now this girl is literally begging me on Fetlife to tie me to her bed, and I am crying on the inside being unable to accept her invitation.

She isn't very attractive, but I'm basically her dream toy.
 
2-3 times per month. We don't really touch or kiss otherwise. And sex lasts for about 10 mins from beginning to end.

That’s dangerously close to a sexless marriage. Have you tried initiating with just more hugging and kissing outside the bedroom as a way of being more intimate but not sexual? It might help improve things a bit.
 
That’s dangerously close to a sexless marriage. Have you tried initiating with just more hugging and kissing outside the bedroom as a way of being more intimate but not sexual? It might help improve things a bit.
I work 8:30 - 7 typically. When I get home I get the 3 D's. Don't look at me (in a way that suggests I want sex). Don't touch me. Don't block the TV.

My wife just does not want to be touched, and all sex we have feels like she's doing me a favour to keep me content. (Which, spoiler, I'm not.)
 
Option 1: just jerk off in the shower like a decent husband

Option 2: Run the idea by her

Option 3: Divorce her

Option 4: cheat on her

Option 5: kill yourself
Option 6: kill her
 
As a married guy, my advice would be neither. Your Wife will NEVER forgive you and you will hear about it for the rest of your life or until you get divorced. If you want to stay married, accept your fate and go jerk off to Pornhub. ;)
 
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Option 1- cheat
Option 2- don't
Pick one.
 
I work 8:30 - 7 typically. When I get home I get the 3 D's. Don't look at me (in a way that suggests I want sex). Don't touch me. Don't block the TV.

My wife just does not want to be touched, and all sex we have feels like she's doing me a favour to keep me content. (Which, spoiler, I'm not.)

This sounds like the root of you guys’ problems. Lemme guess......the S&M fantasies really began to be a major thing for you after your marriage had been pretty much the textbook definition of a sexless marriage? It’s a hunch.
 
Funny enough, the first time I complained of intimacy issues, my wife suggested an open marriage, and then I immediately questioned our son's paternity. My wife has never been more pissed at me than that day.

Sounds like she's got an extra large side dish
 
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