Should I cheat or ask for permission?

She hasn't wanted intimacy in years. She's extremely weird in the sense that she hates all forms of foreplay, and just wants to get on with sex, and then be left alone.
Sounds like you should add "with you" in that second sentence. I would be desperate to find out why she is so lacking in the ability to be intimate with you. If it's not because she's getting all the intimacy she needs elsewhere, then you should consider she's got psychological problems of her own and get her some therapy.

Either way, if you want to go elsewhere, you should dump her first or deal with it on your own.
 
Sounds like you should add "with you" in that second sentence. I would be desperate to find out why she is so lacking in the ability to be intimate with you. If it's not because she's getting all the intimacy she needs elsewhere, then you should consider she's got psychological problems of her own and get her some therapy.

Either way, if you want to go elsewhere, you should dump her first or deal with it on your own.
It sure as shit feels like I should add "with me", but she insists she's happy and content. I can't dump her when we have two kids buddy... not that I want to dump her anyways.
 
It sure as shit feels like I should add "with me", but she insists she's happy and content. I can't dump her when we have two kids buddy... not that I want to dump her anyways.
Women say all kinds of things, that doesn't mean they're true.
 
It may be time to have an actual conversation. And by that I mean, NOT AN EMAIL.
 
It sure as shit feels like I should add "with me", but she insists she's happy and content. I can't dump her when we have two kids buddy... not that I want to dump her anyways.
Of course you don't want to dump her. It's safe and secure. But if you stay with her and cheat, you're just being as selfish as she is (based upon how you describe her behaviour). To me, that means resolving things within the marriage or getting the fuck out of it altogether. It's not really a marriage if there's no physical contact beyond sex. That's called a friend with benefits.
 
It may be time to have an actual conversation. And by that I mean, NOT AN EMAIL.
We did have a conversation last night. She spent most of the night crying.

Pretty surprised she didn't chop off my balls tbh.
 
Umm... I literally just did that, and met up with her on Tuesday, and ended up back at her place, where we both decided it was for the best that I not cheat on my wife.

Now this girl is literally begging me on Fetlife to tie me to her bed, and I am crying on the inside being unable to accept her invitation.

She isn't very attractive, but I'm basically her dream toy.


this is the saddest story I have heard. tell her to be more attractive to be someone's dream dominatrix. worthy of cheating
 
We did have a conversation last night. She spent most of the night crying.

Pretty surprised she didn't chop off my balls tbh.
It's not pleasant, but it needs resolved. Or at least give you both a direction. I wouldn't let the subject just die like last time, though she obviously won't want to keep talking about it. It sounds like she really needs to determine why she doesn't want any contact.
 
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Tomorrow's a new day. Just put one foot in front of the other. It is what it is.
 
I work 8:30 - 7 typically. When I get home I get the 3 D's. Don't look at me (in a way that suggests I want sex). Don't touch me. Don't block the TV.

My wife just does not want to be touched, and all sex we have feels like she's doing me a favour to keep me content. (Which, spoiler, I'm not.)

Simple enough then: if she's always been like this then why the hell did you marry her?


If this is new, why the hell don't you insist on counseling.
 
has your wife tried getting medical intervention for her manic depression?
 
1: Lack of intimacy is a big issue. Our only intimacy is intercourse 2-3 times per month, which is universally preceded by her requesting that I be as quick as possible.

2: I have never had nor do I desire receiving a blow job.

3: Don't care about pegging.
She asks you to be as quick as possible? Yeah, the marriage is already over. You need to be honest with her, take your financial beating in divorce court like a man, and take this as a lesson that marriage is a bad deal.

Hope you don't have kids.
 
In my day we'd have pics or gtfo.

Kids.
 
You don’t like blowjobs?

Does she like to give them? Maybe she wants to have some oral to spice it up and all you want to do is put it in.

Do you go down on her?

Maybe if you went down on her and let her suck on it every now and then she’d tie you up and hit you or whatever the fuck it is that you want.


If she likes to give head and is hot I’ll swap you, mine decided that now we have a family that’s not something she’s required to do anymore. If you want her to tie you up and beat you just leave your socks on the floor. That would do it.

I’m almost at the point now where I would cheat for a blowjob.

Or pay for one a month at a message place
 
It sure as shit feels like I should add "with me", but she insists she's happy and content. I can't dump her when we have two kids buddy... not that I want to dump her anyways.

Based on what has been said...


Seems like she is just there for the kids but you are the one who haven't realized it yet.

Should break it up in a nice way.
 
Love my wife to death, but our intimacy needs are just miles apart.

Last Tuesday, I passed up an opportunity from another girl, who was offering to give me exactly what I wanted. The offer is still on the table.

What's less likely to lead to the destruction of my marriage? Cheating on her behind her back, or asking her for permission to have some fun on the side?

what was she charging? <LucyBless>
 
lol at "asking for permission" sure dude it seems you are very connected to your wife's emotions
 
I hear all these guys saying ts is such a piece of shit and absolute scum for considering this, but can't help but feel bad for the guy when he says that his wife doesn't want to be touched, doesn't want intimacy, barely gives him sex, and wants him to be as quick as possible when they do. All of you swarm on the guy and condemn him for having sexual desires and looking for a new outlet.

This is a perfect example of what an awful idea marriage is for men. I almost started considering it with a new girl the other day until she gave me the first red flag last night and snapped me right out of it. Keep your financial freedom and don't put yourself in a situation to be shamed by others for fulfilling your desires instead of trying to please a woman who doesn't appreciate you. Single life is definitely the best way to go.
 
I hear all these guys saying ts is such a piece of shit and absolute scum for considering this, but can't help but feel bad for the guy when he says that his wife doesn't want to be touched, doesn't want intimacy, barely gives him sex, and wants him to be as quick as possible when they do. All of you swarm on the guy and condemn him for having sexual desires and looking for a new outlet.

This is a perfect example of what an awful idea marriage is for men. I almost started considering it with a new girl the other day until she gave me the first red flag last night and snapped me right out of it. Keep your financial freedom and don't put yourself in a situation to be shamed by others for fulfilling your desires instead of trying to please a woman who doesn't appreciate you. Single life is definitely the best way to go.
Some of you are fucking idiots. This is a very uncommon thing and you’re calling it another reason marriage is bad. Some marriages are bad, some are good. Living your entire life alone sounds like a miserable fucking existence to me, but I don’t go around preaching marriage to people. Not sure why people think anyone else gives a shit about their thoughts on marriage, but we don’t.
 
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