Friends with a married couple... the husband cheated.. should I snitch?

While I agree that the right thing to do is not necessarily the easiest. I think what the right thing to do here is subject to debate.

If you believe that being honest and outspoken, before everything else, is always the moral thing to do, then sure. But I think there's a lot of debate here if that is a golden rule of sorts.


There is no situation where hiding that from your friend is the best thing to do. It's kind of laughable to even suggest that the best thing for someone might be to continue having their spouse cheat on them while their mutual friend knows and lies about it for the cheater.

It's really as simple as putting yourself in the victim's place. Under what situation would it be in your best interest to not know? There's not one.

There's only one thing to do in that situation and it's let you friend know what's going on behind their back because you would want them to do the same for you.
 
Nobody said doing the right thing is the easiest thing to do. That's why people so often do the wrong thing, because it's easier. It's still the wrong thing to do.



If you steal from my friend in front of me and I then have to fucking lie to my friend, you absolutely did something to me.

I don't know what's best for people? It's never the best thing to lie to your friends about their spouse cheating on them. And telling them isn't playing god, it's doing the right thing. What they choose to do with that knowledge is on them, not you.

Apparently I live in a fantasy world where you don't lie to your friends and you have this thing called integrity. Apparently you don't live in the same world.

And you're also a giant spineless hypocrite. Because I bet you'd be pathetically angry at a mutual friend for them hiding the fact that your girl was sucking random dick behind your back, but you seem to think it's ok to not tell people. Maybe he didn't want to play god, so he let your girlfriend keep kissing you with some other man's cum on her upper lip.

Fucking hypocrites. When you have to make elaborate reasons to explain your behavior, you're fucking wrong. And the truth is you're too spineless to do the right thing and chose the easy way out by betraying your integrity and honor.

But hey, you do you. It's your life. If you don't value friendships and integrity them you just keep secrets like that. Of course they'll hate you if they ever find out you knew, but you probably don't care enough about them to begin with to give a shit.


“Never the best thing to lie to your friends about their spouse cheating” - so if you decide to tell and she divorces him which leads to her remarrying a pedophile or the ex husband goes and kills 30 people at her church.... you still think it was better that you told him?

Maybe he hires a hitman and you get suicided.... still a good move on your part?


I could go on and on with scenarios but it all boils down to the fact you do not know what’s best.


Also, if I steal from your friend right in front of you.... I still have not done anything to you. How you feel about what I did is on you and 100% in your mind.
 
Tell your wife/girlfriend about what happened. She will take care of the rest.
 
So many people in here quick to point out the possibility of an open marriage. Open relationships
A. Are not that common, and
B. Are fucking disgusting
 
“Never the best thing to lie to your friends about their spouse cheating” - so if you decide to tell and she divorces him which leads to her remarrying a pedophile or the ex husband goes and kills 30 people at her church.... you still think it was better that you told him?

That is the dumbest fucking reason I've ever heard for lying to a friend about something so important. If someone does any of that because their spouse was cheating on them, it's not your fault. It's the cheaters fault for being the scumbag.

Maybe he hires a hitman and you get suicided.... still a good move on your part?

Again, dumbest fucking far fetched bullshit I've ever heard. Cheaters fault for being a cheat. You are only responsible for your own behavior. And being honest with your friend and having their back is your personal responsibility. What they do with that information isn't.

I could go on and on with scenarios but it all boils down to the fact you do not know what’s best.

Yes, you can continue to come up with stupid scenarios to try and excuse yourself from being a decent human being.

Ultimately, you and I both know that you're just a spineless hypocrite with zero integrity.

Also, if I steal from your friend right in front of you.... I still have not done anything to you. How you feel about what I did is on you and 100% in your mind.

If you let someone steal from your friend in front of you, you're what they call in the game, a bitch ass pussy.

You're the most pathetic friend a person could have. I really hope that your wife cheats on you and your best friend keeps that secret from you. And for years he just comes over, hangs out with you and drinks your beer, sleeps on your couch, all the while knowing your wife is blowing another man when the two of them go out. And he doesn't want to tell you because you might divorce her, marry a pedo, have kids with the pedo, that kid gets abused and later goes on a school shooting.
 
That is the dumbest fucking reason I've ever heard for lying to a friend about something so important. If someone does any of that because their spouse was cheating on them, it's not your fault. It's the cheaters fault for being the scumbag.



Again, dumbest fucking far fetched bullshit I've ever heard. Cheaters fault for being a cheat. You are only responsible for your own behavior. And being honest with your friend and having their back is your personal responsibility. What they do with that information isn't.



Yes, you can continue to come up with stupid scenarios to try and excuse yourself from being a decent human being.

Ultimately, you and I both know that you're just a spineless hypocrite with zero integrity.



If you let someone steal from your friend in front of you, you're what they call in the game, a bitch ass pussy.

You're the most pathetic friend a person could have. I really hope that your wife cheats on you and your best friend keeps that secret from you. And for years he just comes over, hangs out with you and drinks your beer, sleeps on your couch, all the while knowing your wife is blowing another man when the two of them go out. And he doesn't want to tell you because you might divorce her, marry a pedo, have kids with the pedo, that kid gets abused and later goes on a school shooting.


Seriously you just might be one of the dumbest posters on sherdog and that’s quite an accomplishment. I honestly think it’s funny that you’re so rustled by me. So much hostility! Relax little guy, I’m not personally attacking you. You don’t need worry, I’m not gonna hurt you.

Would you please quote where I said that you should stop someone stealing from a friend? I’m pretty sure I nevervsaif that. What I said was “stealing from your friend is not doing anything to you”. You’re not to smart so read it a couple times so that you have a chance to comprehend.

Would you please answer if you think it was a good idea to tell her if it meant the husband went on a shooting spree?

You began using extreme scenarios (sucking 10 Black dicks) when you were trying to prove your ignorant point... I merely used your techniques against you.

The reason I used these examples was to try to show you that you don’t know what is best.

You shouldn’t start a sentence with “and”

Lol@ “the game” Reading that line explains about you and the fantasy world you live in.

Life isn’t a game.... and you’re not a player
 
This is a ethical conundrum that you're in.
 
I would give the guy an ultimatum, tell her yourself or ill tell her.
Prob this. Make him tell her. He is the one that did wrong. Why would you put that burden on yourself?
 
Seriously you just might be one of the dumbest posters on sherdog and that’s quite an accomplishment. I honestly think it’s funny that you’re so rustled by me. So much hostility! Relax little guy, I’m not personally attacking you. You don’t need worry, I’m not gonna hurt you.

Would you please quote where I said that you should stop someone stealing from a friend? I’m pretty sure I nevervsaif that. What I said was “stealing from your friend is not doing anything to you”. You’re not to smart so read it a couple times so that you have a chance to comprehend.

Would you please answer if you think it was a good idea to tell her if it meant the husband went on a shooting spree?

You began using extreme scenarios (sucking 10 Black dicks) when you were trying to prove your ignorant point... I merely used your techniques against you.

The reason I used these examples was to try to show you that you don’t know what is best.

You shouldn’t start a sentence with “and”

Lol@ “the game” Reading that line explains about you and the fantasy world you live in.

Life isn’t a game.... and you’re not a player


How is someone forcing you to keep a secret from your friend not doing something to you?

I think it's fucking plain stupid to assume anyone is going on a shooting spree so you should lie to them. Even if she cheated just once you should fucking tell them.

Further evidence that you're retarded is your lame attempt to tell me grammar rules.


https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/words-to-not-begin-sentences-with

It's perfectly fine to begin a sentence with a conjunction.

Being honest to your friends isn't a fantasy world idea. It's just the right thing to do. Just because you live your life like a piece of trash doesn't mean we all do. I wouldn't lie to my friend about something like that because it's the right thing to tell them. And there's no imagined scenario where that's a bad idea.

You need to stop pretending to be smart and passing out worldly advice. As I said, you're a bitch ass type of man.
 
WoW should have decided by now. If it was important to tell her it was important to do it quickly. If it could wait a few days, it can wait a few more days or a few more years or a few more decades.
 
Normally, if you don't have first person evidence, it can backfire on you. However, in this case, you were there. If she finds out from any source, he will think that it is you.

I recently had the wife of a friend tell me that the friend's business partner hit on her. The wife hasn't told her husband who recently had prostate surgery. The business partner and I have had a rocky relationship in the past but I'm not going to tell my friend because the wife is very likely to change her story, and it will appear that I'm causing trouble to get at the business partner. Multiple women have complained about sexual harassment at work, by the business partner, and my friend has always defended his partner (even though one is the girlfriend of my friend's son.)

Don't be so sure that your friend, the wife, has no clue.
 
Could backfire,
He could say you cheated too and were using this to get in his wife’s pants.

Now your wife is skeptical about it you are cheating and fucks a dude next time you go out of town.

And sends you a text with his load in her mouth with a “how does it feel now asshole” text box
 
How is someone forcing you to keep a secret from your friend not doing something to you?

I think it's fucking plain stupid to assume anyone is going on a shooting spree so you should lie to them. Even if she cheated just once you should fucking tell them.

Further evidence that I’m retarded is your lame attempt to tell me grammar rules.




https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/words-to-not-begin-sentences-with

It's perfectly fine to begin a sentence with a conjunction.

Being honest to your friends isn't a fantasy world idea. It's just the right thing to do. Just because you live your life like a piece of trash doesn't mean we all do. I wouldn't lie to my friend about something like that because it's the right thing to tell them. And there's no imagined scenario where that's a bad idea.

I need to stop pretending to be smart and passing out worldly advice. As I said, I’m a bitch ass type of man.

You wouldn’t lie to you friend about something like that?
What is ok to lie to your friend about? I’m wondering where the line between lie or not lie is?
You keep trying to change the point to something I’m not saying. When did I say someone is forcing you to keep a secret?

Fuck player, you’re all over the board . What do they call high functioning retards like you in “the game”?

You do not know what is the best choice in any situation and that includes every choice you make in life. Every choice you make in your life is at best an educated guess. There is no 100% certainty and if you disagree with that please prove me wrong. Tell me one choice you make in life that you’re absolutely certain it’s right..... you can’t because their isn’t one.
 
You wouldn’t lie to you friend about something like that?
What is ok to lie to your friend about? I’m wondering where the line between lie or not lie is?
You keep trying to change the point to something I’m not saying. When did I say someone is forcing you to keep a secret?

Fuck player, you’re all over the board . What do they call high functioning retards like you in “the game”?

You do not know what is the best choice in any situation and that includes every choice you make in life. Every choice you make in your life is at best an educated guess. There is no 100% certainty and if you disagree with that please prove me wrong. Tell me one choice you make in life that you’re absolutely certain it’s right..... you can’t because their isn’t one.


I'm not lying to my friends about something like that. Cheating if a disgusting violation of someone's trust. Why the fuck would I lie to my friend? It helps nobody to lie about things like this, and I have this thing called integrity. I'm not ruining my integrity like that.

And you clearly know what the right thing to do is. There are no circumstances where you wouldn't want your friend to tell you. So you can try and twist things around, but things are only as complicated as you make them in life.

There are absolutely clear choices in situations in life.

Don't rape that passed out girl.
Don't steal from the store.
Don't murder children.
Don't shoot up that heroin.
Don't lie about someone cheating on your friend.
Don't eat that pizza that you left out for a week.
Piss after you cum.


Things are only complicated when you're trying to game the system and do the wrong thing. When you just do what's right, things are pretty simple.
 
I'm not lying to my friends about something like that. Cheating if a disgusting violation of someone's trust. Why the fuck would I lie to my friend? It helps nobody to lie about things like this, and I have this thing called integrity. I'm not ruining my integrity like that.

And you clearly know what the right thing to do is. There are no circumstances where you wouldn't want your friend to tell you. So you can try and twist things around, but things are only as complicated as you make them in life.

There are absolutely clear choices in situations in life.

Don't rape that passed out girl.
Don't steal from the store.
Don't murder children.
Don't shoot up that heroin.
Don't lie about someone cheating on your friend.
Don't eat that pizza that you left out for a week.
Piss after you cum.


Things are only complicated when you're trying to game the system and do the wrong thing. When you just do what's right, things are pretty simple.


Don't rape that passed out girl. - that’s not a choice because it’s not an option and for most people it never is even a thought

Don't steal from the store - again not a choice, it’s just never even up for choosing to do it or not

Don't murder children - same as the above examples. Never even something to consider

Don't shoot up that heroin - it’s possible that shooting that H kept me from walking out and getting hit by a bus

Don't lie about someone cheating on your friend. - I’ve already given tons of examples of how this choice could go wrong. Not telling could also go bad

Don't eat that pizza that you left out for a week - maybe I ate that pizza, got sick, and at the emergency room I met the woman I’d fall in love with and marry

Piss after you cum - sort of a biological need but maybe you get up to piss and on your way to the bathroom you trip and crack your skull on the countertop ending up with a TBI


Yes these are wild examples but they are all possible..... you can’t ever be completely certain something you do will have the desired effect. I’m sorry but it’s a fact.

I’m hungry, should I take a bite of this steak....? Next thing I know I’m choking on it

I’m tired should I sleep....? A car crashes into my house and kills me in my bed


I know many people who make choices based on religion. I know many people making choices based on philosophy. I know people making choices based on life experience or morals. They all make decent choices but often different choices. No one truly knows what best in the end
 
Don't rape that passed out girl. - that’s not a choice because it’s not an option and for most people it never is even a thought

Don't steal from the store - again not a choice, it’s just never even up for choosing to do it or not

Don't murder children - same as the above examples. Never even something to consider

Don't shoot up that heroin - it’s possible that shooting that H kept me from walking out and getting hit by a bus

Don't lie about someone cheating on your friend. - I’ve already given tons of examples of how this choice could go wrong. Not telling could also go bad

Don't eat that pizza that you left out for a week - maybe I ate that pizza, got sick, and at the emergency room I met the woman I’d fall in love with and marry

Piss after you cum - sort of a biological need but maybe you get up to piss and on your way to the bathroom you trip and crack your skull on the countertop ending up with a TBI


Yes these are wild examples but they are all possible..... you can’t ever be completely certain something you do will have the desired effect. I’m sorry but it’s a fact.

I’m hungry, should I take a bite of this steak....? Next thing I know I’m choking on it

I’m tired should I sleep....? A car crashes into my house and kills me in my bed


I know many people who make choices based on religion. I know many people making choices based on philosophy. I know people making choices based on life experience or morals. They all make decent choices but often different choices. No one truly knows what best in the end

Look at this silly game you had to play to try and justify your ridiculous belief.

No you haven't given reasons why it's the right thing to do to keep quiet. You've just made up stupid scenarios that are some of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

Again, I just hope this happens to you. Nice wife and family. Mutual friend goes it with your wife and watches her run off with some other man. And he keeps her secret because he thinks you might divorce her and marry a pedophile who convinces you to go commit a school shooting. And every day while he drinks your beer and eats your food, and you laugh at his jokes, deep down he knows your wife just deep throated the neighbor an hour before she kissed you on the lips, but he didn't want you to go on a murder spree because...hey it's totally possible am I rite?

I wonder how quick you'd be on here crying that your supposed friend kept that from you and how friends wouldn't do that!
 
Look at this silly game you had to play to try and justify your ridiculous belief.

No you haven't given reasons why it's the right thing to do to keep quiet. You've just made up stupid scenarios that are some of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

Again, I just hope this happens to you. Nice wife and family. Mutual friend goes it with your wife and watches her run off with some other man. And he keeps her secret because he thinks you might divorce her and marry a pedophile who convinces you to go commit a school shooting. And every day while he drinks your beer and eats your food, and you laugh at his jokes, deep down he knows your wife just deep throated the neighbor an hour before she kissed you on the lips, but he didn't want you to go on a murder spree because...hey it's totally possible am I rite?

I wonder how quick you'd be on here crying that your supposed friend kept that from you and how friends wouldn't do that!


Yes that’s all totally possible and it could all happen. Just like everything I said is also possible.

I’m not sure why you’re refusing to acknowledge the truth of what I said but you seem pretty locked in to your denial. My guess is that it’s your crippling autism
 
Do you know for certain that he was cheating? Maybe he took the woman to his room and Skyped his wife in on the festivities. You don't know what went on in that room.

First do no harm
Does the cheating harm your friend if she doesn't know?
Does it harm her if you tell her?
Does it harm her husband if you tell her?
Does it harm her family if you tell her?
Does it harm your friendship with her if you tell her?
 
Not only a bitch-ass beta orbiter, but a cockblocker too.

If you were an acquaintance of mine, let alone someone whom you tried to cockblock or hurt the marriage, I'd beat the shit out of you. I would seriously hurt you.
th
 
Yes that’s all totally possible and it could all happen. Just like everything I said is also possible.

I’m not sure why you’re refusing to acknowledge the truth of what I said but you seem pretty locked in to your denial. My guess is that it’s your crippling autism


When your reason for why you wouldn't do something is "because they might go on a mass shooting or marry a pedophile", you've clearly jumped into fantasy. It's possible in that anything is technically possible.

But it's cool man. Live your bitch made lifestyle. I'm still holding out hope that karma's a bitch got you.
 
Back
Top