Similar thing happened to me today...
I went to the local coffee shop, was flirting with the beautiful japanese cashier for a bit before I totally banged her in the back. Right when I was done dropping that load on lady hiroshima there was this commotion out front. Suddenly this guy busts in with two AR-15's and a strap of grenades, I quickly pulled up my Michael Kors pants I got on sale at Target, and went running out.
"I'm guessing you didn't bring those just to measure dicks, did you hombre?" I said to the guy.
"You shut your mou-" before he could finish I hit him in the mouth with a jumping side kick, at the same time pivoting off his face and grabbing both AR-15's from him and tossing them upward as I twist-flipped back into position. The AR-15's landed in my hands as he began to gather himself. As he came to realize what had happened, I took the time his amazement had granted me to say,
"Hey fuck stick, would you say this blew up in your face or what?"
Then I immediately crane-kicked him in the chest about 14 feet back, through the door, and as he was safely falling into the street I shot him about 32 times in the chest, exploding the grenades and sending a smoky mist of humanity all over the streets.
I finally became flaccid, the japanese cashier I banged ran up and knelt down by my leg in adoration of my achievement in masculinity and alphatocity. I propped both AR's upwards as an eagle soared low behind me, looked down at the cashier and said...
"Looks like you're gonna need to cock my gun again, pussy cheeks."
...as I instantly became erect again with such velocity that it tore a 6 inch by 6 inch hole right through my black Michael Kors pants that I got on sale at Target,
Then like 20 mins later I went to work and realized I totally forgot my wallet at home. Such a crazy day.