A**hole wizard grants you a super power

[SugarKrok]

The power to turn any person I touch into the idealized Sherdog poster.

 

[fallable]

Highly caustic and corrosive semen. We’re talking like the blood of the xenomorphs and face huggers from Alien and Aliens.

There is a thing called burning semen syndrome that affected some Gulf War vets.

https://journals.lww.com/greenjourn...ning_Semen_Syndrome_a_Variant_Form_of.20.aspx

 

[VitorReem]

Ability to heal people/ cure diseases.



Also invisibility

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

So every woman that is kind enough to let you fuck her is rewarded with a grisly death?



Still probably better than pregnancy

Can't kill a woman through sex if you can't get laid



Besides, I thought you wanted us to use our powers to fight crime. My thought was to stop bad guys by jacking off in their general direction.

 

[Reyesnuthugr]

I'm gonna get the power and use it on the wizard, cause clearly he enabled me to enact an evil action.

Power would be to put vaginas on foreheads

Just bang, bro

 

[Agent Mulder's Hair]

I'd take Cro Cop's LHK and go around and kick criminals in the head

 

[SmilinDesperado]

The ability to buttfuck silly, asshole wizards to death if they don't give me the GOAT powers they know i really want

 

[Phlog]

I would have the power to grow fully functional penises from anywhere instantly.

 

[Phlog]

Or the power to, when singing rule britania, turn any situation into a scene of mutual debauchery.

 

[Fedorgasm]

Ability to heal people/ cure diseases.



Also invisibility

Say goodbye to your penis. And since you added a second power that is also not original, your number of penises is now negative one.

That's right, you're now in penis debt.

What some people call an "innie"

 

[LHWBelt]

The power to jerk dudes off with my mind. They'll try to fuck with me then all the sudden they'll be getting an invisible hand job rendering then useless.

 

[j123]

Can't kill a woman through sex if you can't get laid



Besides, I thought you wanted us to use our powers to fight crime. My thought was to stop bad guys by jacking off in their general direction.

Imagine getting stuck in an elevator, then you rub one out to escape. Lol

 

[Turtlejuice]

Either

The power to see through women's clothes

Or

The power to punch people in the nose over the internet.

 

[elreece]

Either

The power to see through women's clothes

Or

The power to punch people in the nose over the internet.

You just lost your cock.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

Imagine getting stuck in an elevator, then you rub one out to escape. Lol

Finally someone gets it!

 

[Space Cat]

The power to deliver that sneaky handshake where you keep your ring finger tucked inside and wriggle it around inside the handshake which then makes the receiver ejaculate violently.

 

[RayA]

Whenever I take a shit, it is immediately teleported into the mouth of the person committing the most heinous felony at the time.

All the shit, as in all the residue that left my rectum. That way I don't have to wipe either.

 

[Final Rehab]

I want the power to gain physical strength from smelling farts, including my own.

 

[Hearse Lightning]

Subtitles. I choose the power to be able to read what people are saying no matter the distance.

 

[LHWBelt]

Whenever I take a shit, it is immediately teleported into the mouth of the person committing the most heinous felony at the time.

All the shit, as in all the residue that left my rectum. That way I don't have to wipe either.

This right here is genius. It's why i frequent this site.