Anyone a Snake in the Grass?

[aries]

I'm gonna go on a limb and guess that he didn't corner you on your fight?

No he was actually in my corner. His advice was come out and throw a big right hand straight off the bat. The right hand missed and that's as far as the plan went.....

 

[j123]

No he was actually in my corner. His advice was come out and throw a big right hand straight off the bat. The right hand missed and that's as far as the plan went.....

That actually looks bad on him. I'm surprised he actually cornered yours.

A close friend and teammate was at a larger gym, and his coach didn't show (similar circumstances) Instead the asst. one came and the chemistry was off.

 

[DoctorTaco]

For me its the same with work (IT) , if I'm the division lead yet the tech they use is semi-outdated and have not much aspirations to improve there, I'm going to bounce in a year (at most) even if the pay is great; because me getting complacent means universities and other places are churning out the new gen of people who are adapting and growing which will mean I'm behind and have to play catch up.

So I feel even if youre crafty and can do well with less good partners, you need good partners to improve. I'm not by sby means a world beater, but one of my decisions to leave was that. The top guys happened to work nights so they trained in the mornings so I couldn't get them unless we planned for weekends. Meanwhile I was getting the scraps and they'd always cut things short due to intensity. I wasn't being a gym warrior either, but pushing the pace.

surprisingly relevant passage when it comes to being a coach. I traveled to LA, Vegas, philly, and the Bay Area last year to visit other gyms, see how their trainers handle their fighters and teams, and generally try to continue my education. Not enough coaches have mentors, too many are stuck in their ways because they once trained some world beaters 10+ years ago. My coach is fantastic and I love working for/with her but I also want to surpass her someday.

 

[Azam]

I understand what your saying, but it depends on the relationship. If you’re going the extra mile, coming in to the gym just to help the guy out, studying tape for his fights, helping him with nutrition, then one day he just ghosts you and never comes back that’s a hard pill to swallow
If it’s a guy that goes to classes, pays for privates, etc no harm no foul

I get what you mean. I think that's a huge part of the problem with martial arts instruction. There seems to be a very blurred line with the teacher/student relationship.

I think though there is a difference between teaching and preparing someone for competition (you also clarified the difference too).

I think in those situations the onus is on the instructor to choose whether he charges or goes the extra mile for free. If you choose to go the extra mile (without compensation) you can't expect the other person to reciprocate by sticking it out with you. I mean it's the decent thing to do - to stick it out if your instructor puts that much time into you (for free) but then the question is how long is the student expected to stay indebted to the instructor for? How do you quantify that as an amount? Quantifying that amount is very subjective from the teacher's & the student's own point of view - and I'm sure arguments can arise because the teacher thinks the student hasn't reciprocated enough for that extra mile...

What if the student has to move or if any unforeseen circumstances arise making it impossible for him to continue training with the instructor who went the extra mile? It would still be a hard pill to swallow (less harder but still difficult to swallow). That's why the onus isn't on the student but the instructor.

For example my secondary school teacher helped us significantly by going the extra mile more so than he was required too. He loved teaching (in that sense a real teacher). When we moved onto college he never once expected anything from us - in return for going to those lengths to help us with our education (he wasn't paid for all that overtime - he did it for free). Regardless it's been 12 years since and even now he still has the respect of everyone in that class (including myself) and we treat him with respect whenever we see him. We still remember the lengths he went to for us. But the dude never once asked for anything or expected anything from us.

The point being - as an instructor you have to decide on your motivations for wanting to instruct and then act accordingly.

I think the problems occur when instructors try to treat it as a profession and teaching/mentoring. Teaching is selfless because you will often go above & beyond for your student - sometimes without pay/reward or anything in return. It's a norm - ask anyone in the teaching profession.

The moment you start counting or expecting something for going above & beyond it's best to treat it as a profession so that way you don't come to expect things from your students when you go out of your way to help them.

 

[j123]

I get what you mean. I think that's a huge part of the problem with martial arts instruction. There seems to be a very blurred line with the teacher/student relationship.

I think though there is a difference between teaching and preparing someone for competition (you also clarified the difference too).

I think in those situations the onus is on the instructor to choose whether he charges or goes the extra mile for free. If you choose to go the extra mile (without compensation) you can't expect the other person to reciprocate by sticking it out with you. I mean it's the decent thing to do - to stick it out if your instructor puts that much time into you (for free) but then the question is how long is the student expected to stay indebted to the instructor for? How do you quantify that as an amount? Quantifying that amount is very subjective from the teacher's & the student's own point of view - and I'm sure arguments can arise because the teacher thinks the student hasn't reciprocated enough for that extra mile...

What if the student has to move or if any unforeseen circumstances arise making it impossible for him to continue training with the instructor who went the extra mile? It would still be a hard pill to swallow (less harder but still difficult to swallow). That's why the onus isn't on the student but the instructor.

For example my secondary school teacher helped us significantly by going the extra mile more so than he was required too. He loved teaching (in that sense a real teacher). When we moved onto college he never once expected anything from us - in return for going to those lengths to help us with our education (he wasn't paid for all that overtime - he did it for free). Regardless it's been 12 years since and even now he still has the respect of everyone in that class (including myself) and we treat him with respect whenever we see him. We still remember the lengths he went to for us. But the dude never once asked for anything or expected anything from us.

The point being - as an instructor you have to decide on your motivations for wanting to instruct and then act accordingly.

I think the problems occur when instructors try to treat it as a profession and teaching/mentoring. Teaching is selfless because you will often go above & beyond for your student - sometimes without pay/reward or anything in return. It's a norm - ask anyone in the teaching profession.

The moment you start counting or expecting something for going above & beyond it's best to treat it as a profession so that way you don't come to expect things from your students when you go out of your way to help them.

Most people would expect life happens and we have to move due to work, family, etc. They get pissed when you move to their competitor. The entire BJJ community has a word created to describe it

 

[NAKMUAY18]

@Azam last year I switched gyms after 6years. I spoke to the head coach, told him my reasons, and made sure my dues were paid up to date. He’d gone above and beyond, I’d helped him when I could, it was mutual respect like you said. Maybe it’s as much about the way you leave.

 

[ironkhan57]

Ok well I didn't get to fight so I wasn't seen as a prospect the first gym I trained at the instructor wasn't very attentive so I let him know when I would be leaving. That gym was in union nj. The 2nd gym I trained at their one of the instructors left who was going to get me a fight, then he went to start his own gym, that gym was in mountainside nj, the gym he started was in Woodbridge nj, but he still wanted to help out our gym before the gym closed down and even one of his assistant instructors, who is also a really good muay thai fighter, come to our gym to help us train.

Then the 3rd gym i went to was good but wanted me to renew a contract when my year was up, so that's when i went to nyc.

NYC was a really good gym, their was an instructor who had mma experience and pro kickboxing experience, he treated all his students like a team and not like regular students, he would also take us all around ny (queens, long island, upstate). He was by far the best instructor I ever had, but he wouldn't blank someone out for leaving his team. all of the instructors I trained with in new jersey and the one in NY would not have had any bad blood towards anyone for leaving the gym or team. It's all about the relationship you build with the instructor.

 

[Azam]

@Azam last year I switched gyms after 6years. I spoke to the head coach, told him my reasons, and made sure my dues were paid up to date. He’d gone above and beyond, I’d helped him when I could, it was mutual respect like you said. Maybe it’s as much about the way you leave.

It's sound like your head coach is a cool guy. Unfortunately there are a lot of instructors out there that make a big fuss about their students leaving to go elsewhere. I think we all tend to forget that instructors are people and have character flaws just like everybody else and when money is involved those things probably get amplified.