Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by CastletonSnob, Jun 13, 2018.
^ Banned for being a killjoy
I freaking HATE hearing this, and it permeates my workplace.
@Only Here for Attachments banned for being clingy.
Popular with kids, shackle-draggers and the deeply unintelligent.
Banned for farting too much.
Banned for eating quiche
Banned for his facist views of the egg delicacy known as quiche.
Banned for sub par post/like ratio.
banned for never jerking off.
Banned for fappin at work
banned for fapping in front of trail cams
Banned because we need fat chicks when it's not going well.
Banned for admitting that whaling is an option.
Banned for using an avatar depicting a child molester/child murderer.
@IloveTHIS banned for jacking it in the woods.
@Hardkore banned for being a Male Nurse
@Swoliosis, Banned for waking up one morning, and deciding it was over. All of it. Fuck the game, fuck the family, fuck the woman in my closet. None of it matters anymore. The only thing that matters now is obtaining The Doublarity. He could pretend before, that it was secondary. To her, to them, to his work. But not anymore. Only one thing mattered now, and he knew how to get it. He picked up his cellphone and was dialing a recent call faster than some people breathe. It rings only once....
"...." offers the unknown man.
"...I take it you're ready?" replies Evokious.
"Yes... yes I am."
"Good. I'm outside now."
He hangs up, and quickly puts the phone in his pocket. He reaches under the uncomfortable leather couch he never really wanted, and pulls out an S42 Particle Beam Generator. He had never pulled it out before. He never thought he would have to again. But reality has no patience for his wishful thinking. He marches to the closet and rips the door open, breaking the wood of the door where the lock was.
"That was for never telling me my penis was beautiful! Now you know how it feels!!!" he yells at Cindy.
"WHERE AM I?!!!" Cindy cries back.
"You're in the here and now.... now. I'm leaving." he says as he turns to go.
"I think I still love you..." Cindy pleads.
"....thinking is dangerous Cindy. I'm done thinking."
And with that, he turns and leaves. Cindy arches her head up to barely catch a glimpse of him jump down the spiral stairway. He lands with the S42 in hand, smashing the concrete of his apartments lobby with the sheer force of a foot, knee and unoccupied fist.
"And who's gonna pay for that shit man!" yells Jim, the lobby attendant who secretly protected the Book of Duality for 30 years, as he stands among the settling dust.
"Send the bill to... the Bills. The football team.... yeah."
"God damnit man that wasn't even remotely clever!" inputs Jim.
"There's no time for clever Jim.... only time for.... The Doublarity."
Jim's flashlight drops from his hand. His face drains of blood as fast as it's replaced with the darkened pale of a ghost. "You can't. YOU CAN'T."
"I have to Jim. I have to." He runs through the front door, literally through it by smashing the glass with a mostly manly, "flying dragon" kick. Evokious is waiting on the curb. Jim's face stays frozen, the only part of him visible through the broken door.
Evokious sits in his Honda Odyssey, peering forward, still as a rock. Swoli get's in and assumes the same posture.
"You did bring it, correct?" Evokious asks calmly.
"Wouldn't leave home without it." he says, slowly turning to Evokious with a menacing, yet friendly grin.
"Good. I told my mom to make cake."
"That's kind of weird."
"Don't worry.... it's got, two teirs." Evokious slyly informs.
"You know.... I kinda wish we could eat it first." Swoli says wistfully.
"Yeah.... me too Swoli.... me too."
Suddenly, the earth explodes and everyone on it dies. The End.
Banned for whatever that shite above was ^^^
@Fedorgasm is banned for being on steroids.
@Jackie Blue Banned for having a shrine in his room to a young Dakota Fanning
Separate names with a comma.