Casting a Shadow

Ethan

Green Belt
@Green
Joined
Oct 3, 2011
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Decided to start up a log here again.

About me:

26 years old, BJJ blue belt under Jeff Joslin, Judo brown belt, NCCP certified wrestling coach. lifted somewhat consistently for a few years then stopped. Back in the weightroom soon to rehab some injuries and get more bulletproof. Coming back now from 2 herniated discs in my neck that caused a serious shoulder mobility issue.

Goals: 1100lb total at 160lb bodyweight for now. Also to get harder to injure and tap superheavyweights with pressure. Get good at jiu jitsu. Learn kata and all the other goofy shit, get my black belt in judo. Crush fuckers. Also back to double bodyweight squat and dead would be super nice.

Current: I need to test this and see where I stand.

Other: I'm working in shipbuilding now. Systems and propulsion design.

I hope some of the old guard are still here.
 
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Currently weighing about 170lbs after getting fat while being injured. I walk around near 163-165lbs these days and compete at 154.

Over the Christmas break, I'm going to visit my old Judo club, hit mobility super hard, snowshoe and hike a lot and generally try and move a lot and do a lot of stuff. I'll probably also eat a bunch of cookies and get fat.

After Christmas break I'll be getting back in the weightroom and getting my feet back underneath me.

Personal side, I have had some struggles with mental health and in the last few weeks I've gotten aggressive about handling the issue. I'll use this log as a sounding board from time to time and document how I'm managing this.
 
Hey Aleks. Good to see you still here. Hope you're doing well
 
I only really log now, don’t spend time in the pub or any other subs. Glad you’re back.

Me too. I got a lot of help here and a lot of focus out of logging here. Feels good to be back. Productive.
 
Sunday December 9th 2018

Cycling-45m

Notes: Felt like fucking dogshit. Decided "fuck this" after 45 minutes and watched EBI on my couch with a bottle of rum.

Monday December 10th 2018

Morning randori-1.5h

Notes: Another 73kg Judo guy and I went in and just rolled from the feet for an hour and a half. Felt great. Will be training again this evening

Night Training-2h
Warmup: shrimping, etc
Technique: DLR stuff
Rolling, 10 rounds

Notes: I am become Death, destroyer of guards.
 
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So in the interest of kaizen, I'm gonna use this log on occasion to talk about mental health and my work on improving it.

Where I'm at with that: I'm working with a counselor using an online service. Have an appointment on medication on the 17th. Essentially the one consistent thing I want to do is swallow a fucking bullet, and I want to not want that. My life is complicated enough with work, training, etc and I don't have the energy to balance this too without help. This feeling is my earliest memory, I remember hoping to die while going to bed in the first grade, and I'm pretty sick of it. Makes it hard to stay productive.
 
Tuesday December 11th 2018

Nogi Training-1.5h
Warmup: shrimping and shit
Technique: Inversions off DLR
Rolling, 10 rounds

Notes: Rolled with my ex. not super fun. My movement is a ton better now that I'm not crippled.
 
Tuesday December 18th 2018

Judo Training
Can't remember what we did
Notes: Visited my first judo club in my hometown. Was good to train with them again. Was all groundwork, which is a bit lame, but it's all good.

Thursday December 20th 2018

Same as above.
 
Started taking Zoloft about 2.5 weeks ago. I feel fully functional for the first time ever.
 
Monday January 7th 2019

First rolls of the new year. Guard work, positional drilling, hard rolling. I rolled like complete dogshit but c'est la vie. Felt good to be back.

Taking tonight off, I feel like crap and I want to play some music.
 
Updates:
  • Shoulder is un-fucked. I am a supple leopard now.
  • Hips are still fucked. Getting better.
  • Working with an S&C coach for return to action
  • Grading for my black belt in Judo on Sunday
  • Jumped in a wrestling meet for the first time back in March, took 3rd of 7
  • Will also compete in Judo and jiu-jitsu before the end of 2019. 3 sport athlete mfers.
  • My job is stupid and it's fucking with my sleep.
  • I still suck and am still weak.
Priorities:
  • Improve physical literacy
  • Get my black belt in Judo (sunday)
  • Work on my finish rate and sub attempt rate to compete in May and June
  • Do things that are hard so I don't suck
  • Don't get fucking injured.
 
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