Do You Abandon Your Children If You Discover They're Not Yours?

[dontsnitch]

This is inspired by this video @Edison Carasio posted in the meme thread.



The question is simple, and to keep it simple, I'm ignoring the relationship with the wife-- You've raised what you believe are your children for 4 years only to discover they're not actually your own offspring. What do you do?

Before you answer, I urge you to consider the children themselves. You've raised them as your own, and they love you. Likewise, you love them. They trust you as their father and are completely innocent. There's no doubt that if you leave, they'll be destroyed, and being 4, they may possible never fully recover.

Do you abandon them, do you still raise them as your own, or do you take a middle-of-the-road approach and distance yourself, but not completely?

I'm having a difficult time answering this question to myself, so I'd like to see where the WR stands.

In b4 literal cuck.

 

[Prutfis]

Tough question.

I think if I had raised them as my own I would stick by them

 

[Ice That Jaw]

Depends on how old they are and who their real Father is.

 

[all caps]

Not counting the mother and counting all the heart tugging strings you attached to the question, I'd just keep on raising them.

But the mother changes the entire dynamic.

 

[dontsnitch]

Tough question.

I think if I had raised them as my own I would stick by them

I'm leaning this way myself, but the prospect of raising your wife's lovers children doesn't settle well.

 

[Hearse Lightning]

 

[dontsnitch]

Not counting the mother and counting all the heart tugging strings you attached to the question, I'd just keep on raising them.

But the mother changes the entire dynamic.

I'm not married to the scenario, feel free to bring nuance, it's just that sometimes these questions are so open-ended it's impossible to even begin. The mother just makes the poll difficult to form, but I'm curious about the scenario in general.

 

[Prutfis]

Not counting the mother and counting all the heart tugging strings you attached to the question, I'd just keep on raising them.

But the mother changes the entire dynamic.

Don't know if I could do it, but the mother being a raging cunt shouldn't effect your feelings for kids you raised for 4 years.
But there is an infinite amount of variables to this question

 

[JDragon]

I think this question cannot be answered in isolation. Generally speaking, kids need a father. If the actual father jumps in or if the mother has a new partner who credibly fills the role, it may be time to distance yourself. In any case, you don't have a right to see the kids anyway if they are not yours.

 

[Prutfis]

I'm leaning this way myself, but the prospect of raising your wife's lovers children doesn't settle well.

There are so many variables to this question and different ways the scenario could have happened.

Without more specifics it is hard to answer

 

[dontsnitch]

I think this question cannot be answered in isolation. Generally speaking, kids need a father. If the actual father jumps in or if the mother has a new partner who credibly fills the role, it may be time to distance yourself. In any case, you don't have a right to see the kids anyway if they are not yours.

So you would have less of a problem leaving if the mother found a new partner?

I'm more or less ignoring that when assessing this because to me it's more about my own relationship with the children.

Do you love them less because you found out you didn't father them?

 

[Prutfis]

I guess think of the children applies here.

Where would they be better of. If I thought it was with me, I would do the best I could to love and nurture them.

 

[dontsnitch]

I guess think of the children applies here.

Where would they be better of. If I thought it was with me, I would do the best I could to love and nurture them.

I believe that goes without saying. They would definitely be better off with you because they can't comprehend you suddenly leaving.

 

[S-dot]

So you would have less of a problem leaving if the mother found a new partner?

I'm more or less ignoring that when assessing this because to me it's more about my own relationship with the children.

Do you love them less because you found out you didn't father them?

I don't think it's about how you feel. It's entirely about what's best for the kids. So there are scenarios where it's best to stay, to go, or to play the Middle. In general, if you're a good influence I'd say you have to stay in some capacity.

If there is another father figure who gets involved and your presence becomes a negative influence or a source of conflict, it is probably best to step back. Let the kids know you'll always be there for them if they need you but otherwise detach yourself from the situation.

 

[Mark Hunts FIST]

move on

you never know if a mom will try to forcefully prevent you from seeing them .

What if Mom re marries? doesn't that person deserve the opportunity to be the father figure?

Doesn't the real father still need to be involved in this decision?

 

[dontsnitch]

I don't think it's about how you feel. It's entirely about what's best for the kids. So there are scenarios where it's best to stay, to go, or to play the Middle. In general, if you're a good influence I'd say you have to stay in some capacity.

If there is another father figure who gets involved and your presence becomes a negative influence or a source of conflict, it is probably best to step back. Let the kids know you'll always be there for them if they need you but otherwise detach yourself from the situation.

That's certainly a more pragmatic approach that I hadn't considered, but I can't seem to ignore the morality and consistency of my own actions. Why should I love these children any less, logically speaking? Seems like a ruse right out of Dawkins' Selfish Gene.

 

[JDragon]

So you would have less of a problem leaving if the mother found a new partner?

I'm more or less ignoring that when assessing this because to me it's more about my own relationship with the children.

Do you love them less because you found out you didn't father them?

How do I know without being in the situation? Probably not. I am mainly assessing the situation from the kids' perspective. Someone must fulfill the father role. It completely depends in the situation. I think all poll choices are valid (maybe except cancelling all contact).

A female friend of mine found out her father was not her father once she was 18. Her father knew he got cucked early but accepted her as his second kid yet successfully and completely shut out the actual father.

 

[*Z*]

Uh, those kids clearly have a black father. I would have been gone the second those kids were born.

If this happened to me, I couldn't stay with the mother. Cheating is one thing I will never tolerate or forgive. I am not really sure how I would handle the kid situation, it's hard to imagine having to make that choice but I think I would still be a part of their lives if I had raised them for 4 years.

 

[JDragon]

I don't think it's about how you feel. It's entirely about what's best for the kids. So there are scenarios where it's best to stay, to go, or to play the Middle. In general, if you're a good influence I'd say you have to stay in some capacity.

If there is another father figure who gets involved and your presence becomes a negative influence or a source of conflict, it is probably best to step back. Let the kids know you'll always be there for them if they need you but otherwise detach yourself from the situation.

This probably is better worded than my post but the essence is the same.

 

[Lord Coke]

get the fuck out of there
I am not going to spend the rest of my life raising the offspring of someone cucked me.