Do You Abandon Your Children If You Discover They're Not Yours?

[panamaican]

I wonder how many of the people answering actually have young children.

I was actually going to post this exact question. Before having kids, I would have definitely answered "Walk away." After having them, it's just so much less clear.

 

[Gunny]

I was actually going to post this exact question. Before having kids, I would have definitely answered "Walk away." After having them, it's just so much less clear.

Right. I actually find the idea of walking away from my three kids completely unimaginable. I might even forgive the wife and just claim the right to a permanent hall pass as recompense

 

[HunterSdVa29]

I'm having a hard time believing ALL these people saying 'sure, I'd raise them' are being honest w/ themselves

 

[Gandhi]

Right. I actually find the idea of walking away from my three kids completely unimaginable. I might even forgive the wife and just claim the right to a permanent hall pass as recompense

I like it!!!!!

 

[Big Nasty Edison]

Realistically there's no blanket statement that can apply 100% of the time. There's so many scenarios we could cherry pick, all with different cases of what the best situation is.

 

[Ol'Ironhead]

What if you'd been raising this kid as your own for years? You'd just turn your back on them? Its not the kids fault. To them, you're dad.

Doesn't matter. The mother is a whore, and I would not raise a whores kid, nor would I raise kids that weren't mine period,

 

[Gandhi]

What does it have to do with being a coward? Your entire relationship with the mother and children was based on a lie of epic proportions.

I would say it's the woman who's a whore and coward. She was the one too slutty to keep other dicks out of her, and she was the one too cowardly to admit she's a whore and that the kid might not be yours.

As a man, separating yourself from the situation is the best thing you could do. Those kids deserve their real father for one, and you can never trust someone willing to lie to you that severely. That's literally fraud at it's worst. Any relationship with her afterwards wouldn't be healthy for the kids. Sometimes it's absolutely better for parents to split up than remain together in some fucked up relationship.

Again, that's why I advocate for paternity tests as a standard practice in hospitals before they bring out the birth certificate. For like $100 more, they could alleviate this issue entirely for everyone. There would be no doubts and less families would be ruined over a lie. As a woman, you shouldn't have an issue with that happening unless you're a slut fucking other men.

See the back and forth

Even though not serious, legit curious here. I actually think the right would look better in the poll based on some of the responses here.

#weneedapoll #notthatseriouse #notrustledbywiolent #notdefensiveorpartisan

@WiolentOne

 

[Seano]

Doesn't matter. The mother is a whore, and I would not raise a whores kid, nor would I raise kids that weren't mine period,

I can see not staying with the mother but turning your back on a kid who thinks of you as their dad and one you thought of as your for years... I don't know, I don't think you could do it as easily as you think.

 

[Ol'Ironhead]

I can see not staying with the mother but turning your back on a kid who thinks of you as their dad and one you thought of as your for years... I don't know, I don't think you could do it as easily as you think.

Supporting a kid who wasn't mine would mean supporting the mother. I would rather raise my own kids. It would be easy for me to make that decision,

 

[Jim Cozad Jr.]

Very tough decision...have a friend dealing with this now...his whore gf left some DNA test in the house that he found after what he thought was his daughter was like six months old...he still sees her though because he was already so attached, even though he obviously hates his ex-gf...

 

[BEER]

Somewhere between "flee the scene" and "raise them as my own".

My hypothetical wife would have to put in a lot of work for me to not leave, but I wouldn't distance myself from their upbringing anymore than absolutely necessary. If my hypothetical wife can reasonably argue that she hasn't cheated since having the kid, it's possible I could stay. But if I find out that she'd been cheating the entire time, I'd bail. I'd file for a paternity test to prove it (to absolve me of financial responsibility), but I'd still be around the for the kid. Being a dad, at that point, would probably have grown to be too much of a part of myself to let go of.

 

[Seano]

Supporting a kid who wasn't mine would mean supporting the mother. I would rather raise my own kids. It would be easy for me to make that decision,

I believe you're sincere. But I also believe the decision would be a lot more difficult than you think it would faced with such a reality.

 

[DoomPatrol]

You can buy a swab DNA test kid for less than $200. Honestly, I think if you're a father and you don't do this that you're insane. If you think that you can just trust the wife and that she would never do something like that, then you're being naive. Countless men have thought and said that their significant other wouldn't ever cheat or lie and countless men have been wrong. So if you think she wouldn't do it to you, I would just say you're not the first man to think that.

I'm definitely going to do a paternity test when I have kids, and I've let my significant other know that I will. I trust her and love her, but I'm not going to be stupid. Studies have shown that around 0.5% to 1% of men are raising kids that aren't biologically theirs, but they think they are. There's something around 70,000,000 fathers in the United States according to the Census Bureau. That means that 350,000 to 700,000 fathers are unwittingly raising kids that aren't theirs. That's between 7,000 - 14,000 per state (not adjusted by population).

Knowing all of that, why in the world would you not just get the damned paternity test? It gives the father 100% peace of mind, prevents years of lying, and possibly having an emotional breakdown after bonding with a kid you thought was yours. If the hospital did them as part of a standard procedure before making the parents sign a birth certificate, I'd have to imagine that the number of women who would be willing to attempt the lie to begin with would drastically fall. This could save thousands of men from going through the worst fraud imaginable.

I've actually had this conversation with my girlfriend and I've made it really clear what my expectations are when we have kids. I'll get it done in the first week of birth. It's a simple mouth swab and your done. Women have no right to judge because the kid literally comes out of them. Men have to rely on the word of a woman, and women have shown countless times that they're willing to lie about something like that. I just don't get why they don't do this. They'll test for a million other things, but they won't do paternity.

 

[woodguyatl]

You can buy a swab DNA test kid for less than $200. Honestly, I think if you're a father and you don't do this that you're insane. If you think that you can just trust the wife and that she would never do something like that, then you're being naive. Countless men have thought and said that their significant other wouldn't ever cheat or lie and countless men have been wrong. So if you think she wouldn't do it to you, I would just say you're not the first man to think that.

I'm definitely going to do a paternity test when I have kids, and I've let my significant other know that I will. I trust her and love her, but I'm not going to be stupid. Studies have shown that around 0.5% to 1% of men are raising kids that aren't biologically theirs, but they think they are. There's something around 70,000,000 fathers in the United States according to the Census Bureau. That means that 350,000 to 700,000 fathers are unwittingly raising kids that aren't theirs. That's between 7,000 - 14,000 per state (not adjusted by population).

Knowing all of that, why in the world would you not just get the damned paternity test? It gives the father 100% peace of mind, prevents years of lying, and possibly having an emotional breakdown after bonding with a kid you thought was yours. If the hospital did them as part of a standard procedure before making the parents sign a birth certificate, I'd have to imagine that the number of women who would be willing to attempt the lie to begin with would drastically fall. This could save thousands of men from going through the worst fraud imaginable.

I've actually had this conversation with my girlfriend and I've made it really clear what my expectations are when we have kids. I'll get it done in the first week of birth. It's a simple mouth swab and your done. Women have no right to judge because the kid literally comes out of them. Men have to rely on the word of a woman, and women have shown countless times that they're willing to lie about something like that. I just don't get why they don't do this. They'll test for a million other things, but they won't do paternity.

For the same reason people don't sign pre-nuptials, which I assume you will have as well.

 

[DoomPatrol]

For the same reason people don't sign pre-nuptials, which I assume you will have as well.

I'm definitely getting a prenuptial agreement before marriage. I'm also in a relationship with a lawyer, so she's all about stuff like that. Marriage is a business arraignment, so it's absurd to not get one. You don't even need to really pay a lawyer to write up a basic prenuptial agreement now a days. Generic ones can be found online that you can fill out and notarize.

It doesn't need to be complicated. Just something fair and simple is fine. Just make sure you have an infidelity clause. When 1/4 marriages end in divorce, it seems silly to not go through with a simple prenuptial agreement. This is especially true if you have assets or expect to have assets over the next decade.

 

[Ophydian]

If I found out my one and a half year-old son wasn't mine I would still do everything in my power to adopt him so that he would legally become mine. I've bonded with him to the point where it doesn't matter where he came from or who seed it created him we are linked from now until eternity, emotionally and mentally because of the time we spent together.

 

[Rematch]

To protect myself, it would be best if I left. If the conniving bitch can lie to me about the children being mine for 4 years, she can definitely cut me off from them further damaging me. It's not something I can imagine going through without having murder and suicide constantly on my mind.

 

[Kframe]

This is inspired by this video @Edison Carasio posted in the meme thread.



The question is simple, and to keep it simple, I'm ignoring the relationship with the wife-- You've raised what you believe are your children for 4 years only to discover they're not actually your own offspring. What do you do?

Before you answer, I urge you to consider the children themselves. You've raised them as your own, and they love you. Likewise, you love them. They trust you as their father and are completely innocent. There's no doubt that if you leave, they'll be destroyed, and being 4, they may possible never fully recover.

Do you abandon them, do you still raise them as your own, or do you take a middle-of-the-road approach and distance yourself, but not completely?

I'm having a difficult time answering this question to myself, so I'd like to see where the WR stands.

In b4 literal cuck.

They were the product of betrayal. My love would vanish in a fucking moment. It would be heartbreaking, and maddening, but I would ghost. They are not mine, I wont raise another mans child. Period. Not if it is the product of some bullshit betrayal. Now dating a woman with a child is different, then the kid is a known factor. But not this.

But no, outside of dating a mom, if my woman cheated and got knocked up, and later I find the kids are not mine then nope, I am gone. I have no reason to waste my resources on them. The asshole that got her pregnant can spend his money.

It's all about the betrayal. I would never be able to look at them and not be forever reminded of what act of selfish betrayal created them. It would be like reliving the experience over and over and over again.

Oh and I am no Womans Cuck. Fuck her.

 

[Kframe]

That's a tough one. If you raised them for 4 years, it's going to be hard to completely walk away. Hard. Not impossible.

I don't know what choice I'd make. Probably the middle of the road thing.

You would love them because they are not white and are a minority.

 

[Kframe]

I wonder how many of the people answering actually have young children.

I do. I would absolutely ghost if I found out they were not mine.