Favorite "Seinfeld" show quotes

  • Thread starter Deleted member 460645
  • Start date
From The Virgin:
Elaine: Nothin'. I was just givin' her the straight dope.
Jerry: More like a dope was givin' it to her straight.

From The Jimmy:
Kramer: I can't hold no water

pretty much anything kramer says this episode
 
"Who is this?"

giphy.gif
 
I was in the pool!!!!!

I also say "not that there's anything wrong with that" all the damn time.
 
“This is what the holidays are all about. Three buddies sitting around chewing gum.”
 
One of the greatest scenes in TV history.

Elaine is amazing in this scene like she usually is.

 
The Bubble Boy
George: "Oh, Noooo, I'm so sorry. It's the MOOPS."

The Library
Mr. Bookman "Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how you get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies."

The Yada Yada:
Mr. Abbott: "That's Dr. Abbott, D.D.S. Tim Whatley was one of my students. And if this wasn't my son's wedding day, I'd knock your teeth out you anti-dentite bastard."
 
George gets up to remove his pants, he looks over and sees Raymond rubbing his
hands with oil. Nervous, George pulls his pants down and climbs back on the
table. As soon as Raymond touches his leg, George becomes rigid with
discomfort.

Raymond: How did you hurt this?

George: I don't know.

Raymond: You don't know?

George: No.

Raymond: But you just told me--

George: Korea.

Raymond: You hurt it in Korea?

George: What?

Raymond: The hamstring.

George: Korea.

Raymond: How?

George: Hamstring.

Raymond: How did you hurt the hamstring?

George: Hotel.


New scene.
Elaine is in the waiting room, George walks out very slowly, he appears
positively shell-shocked.

Elaine: How'd it go? George?

George walks right out the door, ignoring Elaine.


New scene.
Jerry's apartment, Jerry is on the phone.

Jerry: No appointments at all? Because my neck is still tight. What about
Thursday? And Friday? Oh boy. Okay, thanks anyway.

George enters acting nervous.

Jerry: What's with you?

George: A...

Jerry: Yes, A...?

George: A man gave me...

Jerry: Yes, a man gave you...?

George: A man gave me... a massage.

Jerry: So?

George: So he... had his hands and, uh, he was...

Jerry: He was what?!

George: He was... touching and rubbing.

Jerry: That's a massage.

George: And then I took my pants off.

Jerry: You took your pants off?


George: For my hamstring.

Jerry: Oh.

George: He got about two inches from... there.

Jerry: Really?

George: I think it moved.

Jerry: Moved?

George: It may have moved, I don't know.

Jerry: I'm sure it didn't move.

George: It moved! It was imperceptible but I felt it.

Jerry: Maybe it just wanted to change positions? You know, shift to the other
side.

George: No, no. It wasn't a shift, I've shifted, this was a move.

Jerry: Okay, so what if it moved?

George: That's the sign! The test; if a man makes it move.

Jerry: That's not the test. Contact is the test, if it moves as a result of
contact.

George: You think it's contact? It has to be touched?

Jerry: That's what a gym teacher once told me.
 
The Hot Tub
Jean-Paul: : "Ahhhhhhh, look at the little bastard. You are Mommy's little bastard aren't you?"
 
These are all great xD

Glad so many people have particular moments that stand out to them. All of these are giving me some crazy nostalgia.

Another favorite of mine is:
 
Back
Top