My first relationship was at 25, with a 33year old Thai who was on a student visa. Lasted three months.
I became clingy, she started to distance from me, then on one night, after I’m guessing texts that I don’t remember, she said “let’s be friends”.
I tried calling her numerous times at 10pm demanding answers but after a few texts, she told me that she was seeing somebody else.
I, like an idiot, sent ten messages worth of text, wishing her well but saying shit about how money wouldn’t bring her happiness.
Got texts back saying that he was her boyfriend, basically telling me to fuck off. I texted back and he told me that he had been with her for way more than the three months that I was with her. I texted back, saying that it wouldn’t last six months and said goodbye. Got a reply of “joop joop”. I think that she was playing the field because her visa expired in a few months (she had no faith in her English ability) and that I was just one of a few men.
A day later, my Dad found a webpage of her advertising herself for marriage.
Hurt like a lump in the throat but never cried over it. Had anxiety about going to certain places but then moved into the same town where we had our first date. Promised that I would see her again, just to show her that I am better, but now I don’t care at all. I’m currently in a four year relationship and I’ve learned a lot about how to handle myself from my current GF. She calls me out on my bullshit and I learn from it. I don’t care or hold any resentment at all, just wished that I hadn’t been such a fool whilst I was with her. I was cringeworthy.
Entire relationship was an embarrassment to me. She was gorgeous and seemed sweet, but was insincere. I was a dumb, immature joke of a man who tried not to be all of those things, but failed. I’m more annoyed ths I learned a lot from my mistakes though.
The one lesson that stands out above the rest is...
Honour is more important than pussy. Never demean yourself for it.
