Friend of mine screwed over by divorce

MaxMMA said:
How long were they married for? Did they have kids? Yeah what you're saying makes it sound like he's getting screwed but there are few actual details in the OP.

Did she wash his dirty underwear and raise kids for 18 years? Or did this bitch literally sit on her ass eating cake and watching telemundo for 5 years and is now cashing in?

Also why is she pushing the divorce?
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They have one son, but he's 16 already. From what I've gathered over the years, she's lazy around the house.

I honestly think she's pushing for divorce because she thinks she can find someone better.
 
Lvnvmma said:
They have one son, but he's 16 already. From what I've gathered over the years, she's lazy around the house.

I honestly think she's pushing for divorce because she thinks she can find someone better.
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I'm one of those guys that married a young lady from another country, but I put some thought into it. In the end, as long as your financials and appearances aren't too disparate, you have a shot at legitimacy.

Most guys going that route just pick the youngest, hottest piece of ass they can find...then wonder why it all blew up.

8 years with my wife now, and she's proven to be much more than I deserve. She's proud to walk with me in public, and I feel the same about her.

In short, that's what makes a marriage legitimate....IMO
 
Oblivian said:
Do you agree that everything acquired during the marriage/financial arrangement should be split 50/50 even if one partner contributed a lot more than the other?
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i agree with that statement in regards to assets acquired during the course of the marriage but i have a hard time swallowing alimony payments. I feel for those men who have to pay alimony for decades to women they despise.
 
The entire divorce industry is scummy. Sorry @TheWorm but it is.

I saw a stat that says divorces now take about 33% of the combined estate leaving each person the same amounts the lawyers get and there is NO NEED for it.

I've seen so many agreed to friendly divorces turn bad as soon as the lawyers stir everyone up, purposely. Are you sure you want to voluntarily settle? I think I can get you more but not once you factor myself and the other lawyer will gut the estate.

Law is based on precedent and there is nothing novel or new in divorce at this point. Everything should be determined via precedent. You are divorcing than a Arbiter reviews precedent and determines how the estate will be divided and what payments are owed. You insist on your day in court, fine that is your right but if the judge finds the arbiter was correct and sides with them then the petitioning party pays all the legal costs from their portion.

But divorce law is one of the most lucrative areas. And the law society is all lawyers. And politicians are mostly lawyers. So none of them will do the right thing and cut the lawyers down or out of the process reducing the billings.

(and this from someone who, with his ex wife wrote his own divorce and we JOINTLY hired one lawyer to review and advise us jointly to avoid fighting and completed our entire divorce for under $10K)
 
MikeMcMann said:
The entire divorce industry is scummy. Sorry @TheWorm but it is.

I saw a stat that says divorces now take about 33% of the combined estate leaving each person the same amounts the lawyers get and there is NO NEED for it.

I've seen so many agreed to friendly divorces turn bad as soon as the lawyers stir everyone up, purposely. Are you sure you want to voluntarily settle? I think I can get you more but not once you factor myself and the other lawyer will gut the estate.

Law is based on precedent and there is nothing novel or new in divorce at this point. Everything should be determined via precedent. You are divorcing than a Arbiter reviews precedent and determines how the estate will be divided and what payments are owed. You insist on your day in court, fine that is your right but if the judge finds the arbiter was correct and sides with them then the petitioning party pays all the legal costs from their portion.

But divorce law is one of the most lucrative areas. And the law society is all lawyers. And politicians are mostly lawyers. So none of them will do the right thing and cut the lawyers down or out of the process reducing the billings.

(and this from someone who, with his ex wife wrote his own divorce and we JOINTLY hired one lawyer to review and advise us jointly to avoid fighting and completed our entire divorce for under $10K)
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What drives the profit in divorce law is exes and their hatred for each other. Each side values sticking it to the other over coming to a fair arrangement.
 
Omegaboy13 said:
Equal partnership. If your partner is not living up to that, it’s your prerogative to fix it. He should have gotten out of that situation or relationship long ago. Take personal accountability for your/his portion of the blame. He let himself be walked all over, its hard to feel bad for him.
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It's pretty easy to feel bad for him since he still didn't deserve to be fucked over like that. Stop being an overcritical prick.
 
Under Islamic law he'd only had to pay alimony for like four months. Child support is only until the children are 9 years old, at which point they're supposed to go over to the father's household. None of this splitting the assets shit, unlike in Christianity the partners aren't seen as becoming one but are supposed to own their assets separately so whatever she bought on her own is hers and that's it. The woman is entitled to be supported by the man but only during the marriage, after the initial period of alimony(which is only to confirm that the woman isn't pregnant with the ex-husband's child) she's on her own.

Stoning adulterers and cutting the hands of thieves might be a bit much to say the least but when it comes to divorce I think I prefer the Sharia.
 
MikeMcMann said:
The entire divorce industry is scummy. Sorry @TheWorm but it is.

I saw a stat that says divorces now take about 33% of the combined estate leaving each person the same amounts the lawyers get and there is NO NEED for it.

I've seen so many agreed to friendly divorces turn bad as soon as the lawyers stir everyone up, purposely. Are you sure you want to voluntarily settle? I think I can get you more but not once you factor myself and the other lawyer will gut the estate.

Law is based on precedent and there is nothing novel or new in divorce at this point. Everything should be determined via precedent. You are divorcing than a Arbiter reviews precedent and determines how the estate will be divided and what payments are owed. You insist on your day in court, fine that is your right but if the judge finds the arbiter was correct and sides with them then the petitioning party pays all the legal costs from their portion.

But divorce law is one of the most lucrative areas. And the law society is all lawyers. And politicians are mostly lawyers. So none of them will do the right thing and cut the lawyers down or out of the process reducing the billings.

(and this from someone who, with his ex wife wrote his own divorce and we JOINTLY hired one lawyer to review and advise us jointly to avoid fighting and completed our entire divorce for under $10K)
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You just need to find the right lawyer is all. In amicable divorces I’ve gotten everything done for my clients for $1500 all in.

Frankly the fact that you you did all the work and still ended up paying $10,000 is fucking insane. If all the lawyer was doing was reviewing your agreement with you and helping with the court filings you shouldn’t have even been charged $1000.

I guess that’s American lawyers for you.
 
Men usually do get screwed over in a divorce. The only people that really come out ahead are the sleazy lawyers. They win every time.
 
TheWorm said:
You just need to find the right lawyer is all. In amicable divorces I’ve gotten everything done for my clients for $1500 all in.

Frankly the fact that you you did all the work and still ended up paying $10,000 is fucking insane. If all the lawyer was doing was reviewing your agreement with you and helping with the court filings you shouldn’t have even been charged $1000.

I guess that’s American lawyers for you.
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Most lawyers (obviously not all) will instigate the parties into fighting. I have many friends who agreed first to a civil divorce and property division and the lawyer for the woman stirred things up and the divorce devolved into a shit show with no one doing better accept the lawyers.

My divorce was quiet complicated as we both had significant assets and there were kids involved so we wanted it buckled up tight. No ability for either to come back at the other claiming anything. We actually had the lawyer do a bunch of verification work for us both and add that to the record. We were both fine with the bill considering had we fought we know it could have cost us tens of thousands in fees if not more and we both agreed we would rather keep it than give it to lawyers..
 
LockardTheGOAT said:
No, it's just the normal level of human empathy for someone who's in a fucked up situation.
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Is it? How do you know he didn’t deserve to be fucked over? You guys friends?

He’s not a martyr. He treated his marriage like a charity instead of an equal partnership. I’m not going to feel bad for the dude, I don’t even know the guy. If only people would take personal accountability. That victim mentality isn’t going to get anyone anywhere.
 
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Graves said:
meh, get a dog
tenor.gif

also chinga tu madre, puto
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Or a bird that yells at cats.

 
MikeMcMann said:
Most lawyers (obviously not all) will instigate the parties into fighting. I have many friends who agreed first to a civil divorce and property division and the lawyer for the woman stirred things up and the divorce devolved into a shit show with no one doing better accept the lawyers.

My divorce was quiet complicated as we both had significant assets and there were kids involved so we wanted it buckled up tight. No ability for either to come back at the other claiming anything. We actually had the lawyer do a bunch of verification work for us both and add that to the record. We were both fine with the bill considering had we fought we know it could have cost us tens of thousands in fees if not more and we both agreed we would rather keep it than give it to lawyers..
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Hey, if you feel it was money well spent then OK. I’m just saying, even in contentious high conflict divorces I usually don’t normally cross the $10,000 threshold. I worked on one file that took over three years to resolve, we did two days of depositions, we attempted mediation three times, and then finally a one day binding arbitration, all to divide up $7 million in assets, and I think I only charged that client around $22,000 total across those three years.

What you’re describing I would have likely done for $2500 max.
 
Lvnvmma said:
They have one son, but he's 16 already. From what I've gathered over the years, she's lazy around the house.

I honestly think she's pushing for divorce because she thinks she can find someone better.
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Your friend should skip town and move to Mexico to avoid paying her ass. Then he can find a new Mexican wife while the old one is stuck in the states working since he won't be paying alimony.

I'm not kidding by the way. All that money he would have to pay can just be used on his Mexican retirement.
 
The thing is that you only hear the story from your mate.
Of course, its all her fault and now she is taking his money for no reason.

When is a marriage breakdown only one person's fault?
 
MaxMMA said:
Your friend should skip town and move to Mexico to avoid paying her ass. Then he can find a new Mexican wife while the old one is stuck in the states working since he won't be paying alimony.

I'm not kidding by the way. All that money he would have to pay can just be used on his Mexican retirement.
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if it was that easy wouldnt all these guys do it? i'm assuming you wouldnt be able to re-enter usa and would have no access to the part of the pension that your entitled to if you go that route
 
snakedafunky said:
The thing is that you only hear the story from your mate.
Of course, its all her fault and now she is taking his money for no reason.

When is a marriage breakdown only one person's fault?
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he has painted a picture which probably doesnt mirror reality but marriage breakdown can be one person's fault, there are some people who should never be married but end up having multiple.
 
indo80 said:
if it was that easy wouldnt all these guys do it? i'm assuming you wouldnt be able to re-enter usa and would have no access to the part of the pension that your entitled to if you go that route
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I guess they could garnish your pension, Idk man, I've been through a divorce and luckily enough my dumbass ex didn't even show up to court so I got away with minimal damage, only child support. No alimony, and my retirement fund was left unmolested.
 
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