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- Oct 31, 2008
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It becomes a question of how to handle a select few then. Let's call it the bottom 10% of a group for the sake of conversation.Freedom!!!......?
Both systems have their failings, some people don't care for politeness and just leave scrap in their front yard etc. Also there are zones to our politeness, poverty zones have near zero, middle to upper middle class zones have the most, Upper class become their own thing.
An example of the enforcement in my village, after I'd settled in to the new house I got a gardener to sort the front garden, a neighbour stopped by to say how lovely it looked. Really it's just neat instead of shit and the neighbouring houses are probably nicer but it was her way of saying they'd been worried for a bit that we were total fucking oiks and she was glad we play ball.
90% of the group will generally comply with the polite standard, as you pretty much evidenced in your anecdote. Your neighbors were worried, but you showed that you didn't need a rule to step up and get the yard looking nice. So should we make a rule to target those 10%, or should we just let them be? If you decide to let them be, yeah, they'll be obnoxious, and you'll just have to learn to live with it. But if you make a rule, then where does it end? You end up with rule after rule in all sorts of areas of your life, all attempting to enforce some standard upon you because someone else has a problem with the way that you live your life, keep up your home, etc. Eventually, you get to where we are now, and it's just silly. Look at some of the absurd rules and laws that are being proposed by members of this forum. We've built a carnival funhouse for ourselves, all smoke and mirrors that provide us with this illusion of control and safety, but it's just not real. We waste time, money, and energy into this facade, and I'm just generally sick of it.
Your neighbor understood the value of the carrot in the form of a compliment. In the angry US, we prefer the stick each and every time.