How the f**k do you make friends as an adult

[orangecuse]

That used to be the case 10+ years ago, I recall the gym use to be much more of a social place but every person has headphones in these days and picks up their smartphone between sets. It's really weird to me because I stopped going to a commercial gym around 2007 and started up again around 2012 and the entire landscape changed. I'm not a chatty person at the gym but I do find it interesting how different it is now.

Yeah, that's a good point. I've made tons of friends/acquaintances through the years in different cities in gyms and myself starting going regularly in like '06. But yeah most everyone now either has their head down in their phones between sets or has headphones on the whole time. I still talk and make friends with older regulars a lot but not younger people.

 

[Desdinova]

If you are really desperate go to any number of 12 step programs like AA or NA. Those places are full of lonely people. Lots of free hugs and coffee, too. When they ask you what your addiction is just mumble and look away with downcast eyes.

Why not just start an underground fight club?

 

[Naramie]

Depending on where you're at, there are always meetup groups for whatever hobby that you're into. If you don't have a hobby then start experimenting and go take a random class. It's definitely alot harder as you get older because people tend to have busier lives, families, etc. So you have to put in a little effort to meeting people whether it be at bars, or whatever. Just strike up a conversation and see what happens. If they aren't receptive to it then whatever, nothing to lose.

 

[CerebralKnievel]

That used to be the case 10+ years ago, I recall the gym use to be much more of a social place but every person has headphones in these days and picks up their smartphone between sets. It's really weird to me because I stopped going to a commercial gym around 2007 and started up again around 2012 and the entire landscape changed. I'm not a chatty person at the gym but I do find it interesting how different it is now.

I stopped even wearing headphones, and for the past year my routine has shifted to basically no rests. Just a 20 minute lift/core session with continuous sets (maybe one quick rest). I look around and just see a bunch of prisses sitting on machines staring at their phones. Modern badasses.

 

[CerebralKnievel]

You don't. We need friends as children and adolescents because we're still learning and developing. Once you're an adult, it's unnecessary especially as you get older and realize that people and society at large are all shit.

Then you start a lucrative career so you can buy land out in the country and feel superior

@Hank The Tank

 

[Deleted member 220895]

Work, hobbies, through other friends and family, prison, constantly visiting the same restaurant for 10 years and ordering the same thing.

 

[BARNUM]

Be open minded & have a sense of humor
Try the Meet ups app?

 

[Seaside]

Don't shit on me too hard.. legit asking advice

I was an athlete in college didn't know what to do when it was all over. I thought grad assistant would be a good idea, but coaching positions are scarce. I find myself in Kansas City (not a big city, but big for me) and the only people i know are married.

I workout everyday but I'm in an area that seems to be made up of townies that all know each other..

My work colleagues are either incredibly older or are a little older and are too goal driven to connect with

wow i just learned there is a city called kansas city. named after a state wow.

you need to move to a major metropolitan city since you american i suggest what nyc or los angeles or miami? people in smaller areas are boring it like that all around the world.

 

[bubbleboyjones]

Yeah, that's a good point. I've made tons of friends/acquaintances through the years in different cities in gyms and myself starting going regularly in like '06. But yeah most everyone now either has their head down in their phones between sets or has headphones on the whole time. I still talk and make friends with older regulars a lot but not younger people.

I think this is slightly part of the reason why Crossfit has exploded in popularity. Crossfit's success really was based on the social aspect and it's interesting it exploded in popularity near the same time when wearing headphones became a standard practice in most gyms. I know for a fact I talked to way less people at the gym now than in the early 2000's. It's not even remotely close.

 

[panamaican]

You don't. You live your life and you'll meet like-minded people along the way.

Also...I have no idea. My wife makes all my friends for me. When left to my own devices, all of my friends would be women who just graduated from college and have no idea that I'm married. So I'm never left to my own devices.

 

[ripsta619]

I feel your pain. I get forced to hang out with my girls friends boyfriend's while the girls do stuff together. They're all a bunch of 115lb hipsters. I tried to teach one to shoot a bow the other day and he couldn't even draw it. So I said ok let's go drink and he wouldn't because apparently the beer I had wasn't vegan. These are pretty much the only guys I meet nowadays

That literally just sounds awful. How much was the draw weight? Also what type of beer?

 

[blaseblah]

Join an adult sports league. Soccer or softball. You can also try meetup.com

 

[ProBoxingInsidr]

the answer is pretty obvious. there is LITERALLY a website called adultfriendfinder .com. go there and find some friends from your area

 

[Judge]

If you are really desperate go to any number of 12 step programs like AA or NA. Those places are full of lonely people. Lots of free hugs and coffee, too. When they ask you what your addiction is just mumble and look away with downcast eyes.

My sister and mom both went to rehab and they have friends from there to this day. This is actually really good advice.

 

[all caps]

Fuck friends. I got sherdog

 

[rearnakedchoke]

Gay bar
Assless chaps

 

[FierceRedBelt]

the answer is pretty obvious. there is LITERALLY a website called adultfriendfinder .com. go there and find some friends from your area

 

[FierceRedBelt]

Work, hobbies, through other friends and family, prison, constantly visiting the same restaurant for 10 years and ordering the same thing.

Been doing that for two years and no bueno.

 

[Phlog]

Don't shit on me too hard.. legit asking advice

I was an athlete in college didn't know what to do when it was all over. I thought grad assistant would be a good idea, but coaching positions are scarce. I find myself in Kansas City (not a big city, but big for me) and the only people i know are married.

I workout everyday but I'm in an area that seems to be made up of townies that all know each other..

My work colleagues are either incredibly older or are a little older and are too goal driven to connect with

Clubs are set up for people to make friends, art classes, archery classes, UFC classes etc. You pursue your interests as a way of meeting like minded people.

If lifting is your thing, consider joining a class or team.

 

[GordoBarraBJJ]

Cautiously - or you will be #meetoo'd