How the f**k do you make friends as an adult

wlu.29 said:
115 pound hipsters and vegan beer

Seems more like a line but you are actually dealing with that in real life?
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Yeah. My girls friends are all the artsy hippie pothead types so the guys they date are exactly like you'd expect. Another couple she knows live in a van. He's an "artist trying to make it." He's in his late 30s and unemployed. My gf asked if they could stay with us for a weekend I told her absofuckinglutely no way in hell is either of them going to stay at my house. You'd never get rid of them
 
bad seed said:
what are these "personal interests" that require you to be alone?
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They don't 'require' it. It's more of a choice.


I collect/own a couple classic cars (for example) and enjoy working on them and cruising -and aside from my chick joining me in cruising around here and there- it's something I do on my own a good amount. I'm also an artist, and I play guitar. I'm no longer interested in joining bands anymore so it's something I do quite a bit on my own as well. Same goes for the art (sketching mainly).


I have plenty of friends that go all the way back to my childhood days. I keep in contact, but don't see them as often. That's life tho, it takes you in different directions sometimes. But they all (for the most past) have children and responsibilities I don't have myself, so I spend more time these days on things I enjoy that I don't need others for. Not that I didn't before -it's just that I do alot more on my own these days. Doesn't bother me to be on my own tbh. I'm wired differently than almost anyone I've ever known tho. I just roll with it.
 
Luck. lol

I haven't made many "new" friends. It would be easier if I had the wife/kids combo to help things. I did see a group of guys from another department at my company at a Local H show last year. Since then we'll talk if we see each other around the building and have gone to other shows together.
 
AGGAMEMNON66 said:
They don't 'require' it. It's more of a choice.


I collect/own a couple classic cars (for example) and enjoy working on them and cruising -and aside from my chick joining me in cruising around here and there- it's something I do on my own a good amount. I'm also an artist, and I play guitar. I'm no longer interested in joining bands anymore so it's something I do quite a bit on my own as well. Same goes for the art (sketching mainly).


I have plenty of friends that go all the way back to my childhood days. I keep in contact, but don't see them as often. That's life tho, it takes you in different directions sometimes. But they all (for the most past) have children and responsibilities I don't have myself, so I spend more time these days on things I enjoy that I don't need others for. Not that I didn't before -it's just that I do alot more on my own these days. Doesn't bother me to be on my own tbh. I'm wired differently than almost anyone I've ever known tho. I just roll with it.
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you could cultivate a deeper connection to your hobbies by seeking likeminded people who share your passion. For example, car meets. But I'm sure you already knew that.
 
bad seed said:
you could cultivate a deeper connection to your hobbies by seeking likeminded people who share your passion. For example, car meets. But I'm sure you already knew that.
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You're assuming that having a deep connection to something includes needing to share it with others. That may be true for some, but it isn't for me.

To each, their own.
 
AGGAMEMNON66 said:
You're assuming that having a deep connection to something includes needing to share it with others. That may be true for some, but it isn't for me.

To each, their own.
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no, I'm saying connection with others with similar interests can open up deeper opportunities in your hobby. For example with cars, you get the opportunity to drive more cars, with access to more parts for second hand trade or sale, or whatever. With art you can meet more artists and find new inspiration, etc.
 
bad seed said:
no, I'm saying connection with others with similar interests can open up deeper opportunities in your hobby. For example with cars, you get the opportunity to drive more cars, with access to more parts for second hand trade or sale, or whatever. With art you can meet more artists and find new inspiration, etc.
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I get your point bud. I just don't see it the same way (it's kind of a preference thing I guess). I'm not into some of these things anymore for those reasons, nor was I ever in some cases -been there done that, so to speak.


The music/band thing is a good example. I've done it, no longer interested in it. But I still play a good amount, I just jam on my own mostly.


Look, it's not like I don't see people or socialize at all anymore. I go shooting with my buddies still (for example). I just spend more time on my own and enjoy it.


I know, I'm weird lol. I'm good with that tho. It took my chick years to get used to it, but now she just shrugs it off.
 
mb23100 said:
Yeah. My girls friends are all the artsy hippie pothead types so the guys they date are exactly like you'd expect. Another couple she knows live in a van. He's an "artist trying to make it." He's in his late 30s and unemployed. My gf asked if they could stay with us for a weekend I told her absofuckinglutely no way in hell is either of them going to stay at my house. You'd never get rid of them
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Can I stay with you though?
 
tonysmasseuse said:
That is indeed very surprising to hear.
Of course, my main impression of America and Americans comes through media and pop culture, and there seems to be a definite tendency to portray American culture as extroverted and group-oriented. Americans i have met here and when travelling have been super chatty and outgoing, too, so i just assumed most Americans were naturally extroverted.

I've heard the South has a reputation for being especially friendly and courteous, the famous 'Southern charm' and all that - why do you think there are these regional differences?
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I'm not exactly sure, and go easy on me for saying this, but I honestly believe that the faith (religion) of southerners has a lot to do with their hospitality and general friendliness.

People in the South are just proud to help others, it's so different everywhere else.
 
Whiterabbit said:
Don't shit on me too hard.. legit asking advice

I was an athlete in college didn't know what to do when it was all over. I thought grad assistant would be a good idea, but coaching positions are scarce. I find myself in Kansas City (not a big city, but big for me) and the only people i know are married.

I workout everyday but I'm in an area that seems to be made up of townies that all know each other..

My work colleagues are either incredibly older or are a little older and are too goal driven to connect with
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you say you workout every day but you are asking where to go or what do to make new friends??? I think the problem is you man, not the place or activity.... I have a lot of friends at the gym that I met AT the gym.... sure most of them are just like "hey whats up man" kinda friends but if I were interested in making a stronger connections (like it seems that you want) I could very easily stay talking for longer instead of just saying hi and keep working out. There wouldnt be anything wrong with that, there are always plenty of people who like to talk.

I always say that the biggest problems I see in humans are lack of communication and social skills, everybody lives criticizing others and seeing whats wrong with everybody else.... try to be friendly dude, smile, say hi, take interest in people.... you dont need to go anywhere special to do that, shit you can start a conversation in line at the supermarket or at the gym since you go everyday! But its always gonna come back to you man, you can go to any activity these people are mentioning but if you keep the same attitude you presently have at your gym well shit you are going to keep being in the same place... you dont need to go anywhere man, just open yourself up, take interest in others, help people, say hi, ask questions, smile, just be friendly man, good luck!
 
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bandicoot said:
I'm not exactly sure, and go easy on me for saying this, but I honestly believe that the faith (religion) of southerners has a lot to do with their hospitality and general friendliness.

People in the South are just proud to help others, it's so different everywhere else.
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They also love their incest and racism.
 
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