How to deal with insecure, working class service people?

[SSgt Dickweed]

I have noticed lately, that I am really bothered by working class service people. It's almost as if they go out of their way to annoy me, because they are insecure with the disparity of status between us.

I find this true for a bunch of different settings: hardware stores, car service stations, gentleman clubs. I find in these establishment, I would get poorer treatment the longer I frequent those places. Thinking about it, if I am at those places the first few times, I don't get bothered too much. But when my face becomes familiar to the crew, they start "accidentally" bumping into me, talking loud behind my back, ignore me when it's my turn to pay in the counter.

The more I think about it, it is because they feel insecure that I can frequent the establishments they work in, when they can't afford it. This is especially true for guys (different races and nationalities). They always seem to be overweight guys who talk loud. It's like they try to hide their own insecurity by making their presence felt by doing all these schoolyard bully tactics while they are attending to my needs, which is just weird. For example, I could be in the car shop asking a mechanic about aluminum rims, and he would go "that's chrome", giving off a 'you don't know that, dork?' vibe. And then before I leave, they'd ask for a tip giving a "I got a family to feed" look.

I am a very non-threatening looking, baby faced, skinny guy who looks good enough to be in a commercial or TV show. I don't act like a hotshot, but I suppose if I dress good enough, I would have a 'presence'. I may give off a vibe that I went to private schools all my life, and my folks paid a lot of money for dentists and doctors (all true).

This makes me a target for these fat-ass rednecks who think: "I can only dream of having what he has", even though I've had a string of bad luck in my career, and just as unhappy with my job as they are. Wtf is wrong with these assholes? Can't they leave me alone while I get a lapdance?

Cliffs:
-I am a pampered, beta-looking dude
-Insecure service people like to "bully" me while they serve me
-I am fed up with it
-Is this all just in my head?

 

[Rygu]

You sound like a narcissist. NPD is likely.

 

[loisestrad]

-Is this all just in my head?

No, it's also in your thread. Unfortunately.

 

[JabToucher]

Just remember you've better then them. They have the issues.

 

[Sansnom]

TS needs to see a psychiatrist.

 

[JabToucher]

You have just described the majority of my adult work life. I've worked in some tough male dominated jobs and I have always looked young for my age.

 

[SSgt Dickweed]

You sound like a narcissist. NPD is likely.

If I am a narcissist, why would I admit to being down on my luck career-wise? That can't be it.

I don't even like talking about myself. I am an introverted wallflower type.

This makes me a target for these fat-ass rednecks who think: "I can only dream of having what he has", even though I've had a string of bad luck in my career, and just as unhappy with my job as they are.

 

[SSgt Dickweed]

You have just described the majority of my adult work life. I've worked in some tough male dominated jobs and I have always looked young for my age.

Yup. I left out that I get a lot of the same "bullying" tactics from work colleagues.

 

[Sansnom]

Lol I hadn't even read the entire post. TS, you clearly have mental issues.

 

[MMA since 1993]

Mechanics ask for tips? Wtf, that's the first time i hear about this.

 

[Organic Damage]

I like you, TS, but this kind of smacks of one of those threads where a guy complains about being so good looking that women are intimidated by him.

 

[SRN]

You sound like a snob. That's probably why people treat you worse when they know you better. Stop acting superior.

 

[Macktruckbuck]

Some people jusy give bad customer service. You sound insecure yourself

 

[Renard]

I'm chucking this one up to projection. I find it very unlikely that every member of staff, at every establishment, thinks like this about you. What's more likely is you don't like/mistrust these people, and a result you come off standoff-ish, arrogant or rude in your body language and behaviour towards them, they pick up on this and react accordingly - strengthening your initial belief that they were jealous and hostile towards you.

 

[SSgt Dickweed]

Lol I hadn't even read the entire post. TS, you clearly have mental issues.

How do I have mental issues? I don't go bumping around people accidentally to call their attention. There are guys who work in those establishments would literally call out to me randomly as I am heading back to my car despite me not encountering them before leaving. Explain that.

 

[Sansnom]

How do I have mental issues? I don't go bumping around people accidentally to call their attention. There are guys who work in those establishments would literally call out to me randomly as I am heading back to my car despite me not encountering them before leaving. Explain that.

"Explain that"

As if we're supposed to know how you really act and think.

But based on the OP, it's seems that you having mental issues is very likely.

 

[JabToucher]

Yup. I left out that I get a lot of the same "bullying" tactics from work colleagues.

I'm with ya.
It's a respect thing. If you in anyway show that you are letting them bother you, things will get worse. They'll see that as weakness and lose more respect for you.

Either do your best to show they can't phase you. Or practice giving them shit back. Might make things worse initially but at least they will respect you for sticking up for yourself.

When I was 19 I was working with security guards aged from 40 to 64. The older ones were the worst by far.

 

[SSgt Dickweed]

I'm chucking this one up to projection. I find it very unlikely that every member of staff, at every establishment, thinks like this about you. What's more likely is you don't like/mistrust these people, and a result you come off standoff-ish, arrogant or rude in your body language and behaviour towards them, they pick up on this and react accordingly - strengthening your initial belief that they were jealous and hostile towards you.

This explanation I can understand. I admit I may seem very snobbish at times. I don't think every member of staff are like this, just a select few. But those few continually make my stays in those establishments unbearable. But one reason I think that they are insecure bullies, is that I find that I encounter this behavior less when I am with friends, or maybe because I am distracted. If I am alone, they could see me as easy pickings to bring out their frustrations, just like schoolyard bullying.

 

[Ichibanner]

OP, the issue might be you whether it's your personality or perception of the situation. We've all had bad service regardless of income. It's part of dealing with others. The best thing that you can do is either call them out on it when it happens or move on and find a new place to spend your money at.

I had horrible service at an auto parts store. It was the same Eminem looking white kid on more than one occasion. He was an asshole to white people and tried to be cool and super nice to blacks. It was weird and off-putting to say the least. I brought it up to the manager and was told others had recently mentioned the same issue. The manager ended up firing his ass. Problem solved.

 

[Captain Davis]

I bet you throw like a girl.