I done goofed (Relationship related... yes EMO)

How long were you engaged for?

More than a year? meaning you only got engaged because she wanted too?

And now that she is gone you finally realized "Oh fuck"

Thats my theorycraft of this entire thing
 
You have to make a grand jesture Of the heart.
 
@Brampton_Boy
Do you have a strict routine but realize sometimes you have to break it for others or are you ocd about it
 
It seems like you've tried to win her back but she either doesn't want you back together or she'd rather enjoy single life for a bit longer before accepting you back.

You can go about this two ways - you can either accept it right now that it's "over" and just move on or you can too can embrace single life in the meantime until she "makes a decision". Either she'll come back to you or you'll both move on.

I had a bad breakup a couple years ago. It made me really bitter and completely burnt bridges with her. I regretted it for years but now i couldn't give a crap
 
Take it from someone who's older.
I went through this twice in my twenties. Woulda been more, but twice taught me. She's just one woman. In a whole world full of women. And she may be special to you but.

Hell, there are good women in your town who'd love your company. Be adventurous for real.
 
Take it from someone who's older.
I went through this twice in my twenties. Woulda been more, but twice taught me. She's just one woman. In a whole world full of women. And she may be special to you but.

Hell, there are good women in your town who'd love your company. Be adventurous for real.

Good advice Rich
 
It's been almost three months since I called off my engagement, and I regret it more and more each day. While I am not going to bore you all with the details of what happened, my (ex) girlfriend and I were going through a difficult time - we went to India together and basically fought none stop, and when we got back, I gave up. She had proposed going to relationship counciling, but in that moment, I thought we were just two different people (we loved each other, but we didn't see eye to eye on alot of issues).

In a twisted way, I rationalized it at the time that she deserved somebody who could be the man she wanted - I was obsessed with work and lived a life of routine, she prioritized balance and being adventerous.

Fast forward to now, and I am going stir crazy without her. A couple of weeks back, I caved and asked for a second chance, and she told me she needed "time and space" to make a decision - I don't think that bodes well. Truthfully, I am trying to accept the fact I can't change the situation, and just work on the things I know I struggle with in relationships.

Tonight was actually really difficult - I was out with friends, and there were a number of single woman in the group, and I honestly couldn't even fathom the thought of being with anyone else (or worse yet, think of her with another guy).

This fucking sucks. I'm 33 years old, and I'm acting like a teenager. I would give up almost anything for a second chance, but I know there isn't anything I can do to affect the situation.

I don't know why I'm sharing this, but I suppose the anonymity of the Internet makes it easier to get this off of my chest.

long answer:
34 yo, about to end a loooooong time relationship and currently dating a girl who's obviously not fit to be the next
Who cares

MAYBE you did wrong and it's all your fault... whatever
Take care of yourself, both inside and outside to become the best version of yourself you can be, the rest will just happen

Go full introspective will just give you depression and your life will suck dicks
Give a good honest look to your errors, accept them and move on

World is full of women who are just as good or better than the one you left behind (or left you behind)

If you are fuckable enough to win a woman worth of be depressed about, you will able to recover and win another one of similar value


short anwer:
godfather-man-o.gif





ps: don't open threads about it on the internet

pps: good luck
 
Yeah it sucks to hear, but people are right there is no one person that is meant for you. Shitty romcoms have made people think that's a realistic goal.

In reality once you reach the stage of fighting all the time that's usually it. You may still be sexually attracted and emotionally dependent on each other, but that just creates this toxic on again off again pattern.

Few questions you need to ask yourself, and be honest. Do you have similar goals in life, do you have the same overarching plans of where you see life going. Are the issues you're fighting over solvable. Do you both WANT to solve them, or are you more interested in winning. Most people want to win more than they want to compromise. And do you think you're ready for marriage. It's a very extreme step to take with many potential pitfalls and drawbacks. It's a bit of a cultural throwback and honestly marriage is just not a good idea for a LOT of people. Society and family trick you into thinking it's somethihg you want, and leads to this Zen like happiness.

Some of the most miserable people I know are married with kids. Long after those I Wuv U hormones have faded, the mortgage and kids and fights and stress remain. If you can't get along now, marriage and children will magnify every single flaw in the relationship until one of you bails.
 

Rick is just incapable of the necessary empathy to build a long term relationship. He cannot fathom changing his behaviour for another. He thinks lust is love. I pity him.
 
I didn't know we were so close in age. For some reason I always assumed you were older because of you came off as wiser and more worldly. Either way, love makes men into boys. I've surprised myself with going crazy over my last ex and I'm still not quite over it despite it being more than a year since we broke up (which I initiated). Don't know what to tell you other than that I have no idea what to do either.
 
The age old dilemma: career vs. cunts. Lol

You seem like a really intelligent and sincere guy but from what you say, it does seem she is a little much of a wild rose for you.

The free-wheeling adventurous types don’t go well with the suit and ties.
 
You're right. Some people are broken.
As a species we haven't been doing Monogamy all that long. Men and women are wired to want to fuck more than one person. Just for basic survival purposes.


It's possible to rise above our primal instincts, but a lot of people aren't good at it. Although it's a difficult topic for me to be neutral and fair about, I don't think a lot of people have a choice. The I Love You The Mostest chemicals that make us want to try monogamy last for like 2 to 3 years tops.


That's what Rick is getting at there. He's a miserable misogynist but he's also being honest there. Once those chemicals slowly fade that's it for the vast majority of relationships. You have a.few years to quickly put down roots with someone. To find something that bonds you beyond sex and hormones. Most people cannot do it, and I'm not sure it's their.fault. Monogamy was always held together by strong societal pressure and the threat of being exiled from the community


Well now we live in a culture where that pressure (and support) is largely gone. At the same time people aren't limited to just the dating pool in their village or city or whatever. And there's no worry about poisoning the well by being a shitty partner and having word spread through the local community, because our communities are much looser (in more ways than one hayo!) than they once were.
 
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