i have some bad news

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by DynamicLoosener, Mar 12, 2018.

  1. HelloJapan

    HelloJapan Talking loud and saying nothing. Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2014
    Messages:
    14,826
    Likes Received:
    21,499
    Location:
    Vancouver, Canada
    Just say you were busy serving Jesus.
     
  2. Fedorisbest

    Fedorisbest Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2009
    Messages:
    1,734
    Likes Received:
    106
    Location:
    we fly we lie you know this
    easy just say you were freelancing
     
    Clippy and Wadtucket like this.
  3. marioh

    marioh Black Belt

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    6,336
    Likes Received:
    3,301
    Location:
    NYC
    Tell them you were in a witness protection program.
     
  4. sideboob

    sideboob ====( )( )====

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2008
    Messages:
    1,394
    Likes Received:
    344
    Location:
    127.0.0.1
    This all day. Have a self employed cousin who put me down as 'external sales representative' for over a year, complete w/ a letterhead reference letter. Good times, good times...
     
  5. MarloStanfield

    MarloStanfield The Wild Colonial Boy Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2010
    Messages:
    14,142
    Likes Received:
    11,307
    Location:
    K-hole
    Tell them you’re indigenous
     
  6. ShoelessRye

    ShoelessRye Gold Belt

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2005
    Messages:
    15,308
    Likes Received:
    12,035
    Self-employed.

    And then if you get an interview - explain how you made money to survive/pay the bills - unless you lived at home with parents and they gave you an allowance you made money some how.

    If this isn't a career type job and I can't fathom it is. Baldly lie. Cook up references. If you have a friend that owns a business, ask if you could list his place as your employer.
     
    Clippy and Wadtucket like this.
  7. Bushpig

    Bushpig Bushmaster Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Messages:
    937
    Likes Received:
    245
    Full time Sherdog poster.

    They will accept you as the alpha male and give you a management position, a hot receptionist, with a Ferrari as a company vehicle.
     
    ArtemV, Bubzeh, Clippy and 5 others like this.
  8. lostdog000

    lostdog000 Silver Belt

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2004
    Messages:
    11,857
    Likes Received:
    5,626
    u were traveling
     
    Bubzeh, Clippy and Wadtucket like this.
  9. Spoken

    Spoken Silver Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2009
    Messages:
    13,644
    Likes Received:
    3,127
    I've totally done this, lol
     
    Clippy and Wadtucket like this.
  10. CrimsonFan

    CrimsonFan Silver Belt

    Joined:
    May 1, 2009
    Messages:
    14,369
    Likes Received:
    10,182
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Just lie and make up good work history
     
    Clippy, Wadtucket and ShinkanPo like this.
  11. DynamicLoosener

    DynamicLoosener The Greatest Showman

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2013
    Messages:
    10,725
    Likes Received:
    11,676
    Location:
    Red Dead Redemption 2
    i was building houses for the Pygmys with Justin Wren
     
    Bubzeh, Clippy, Wadtucket and 2 others like this.
  12. JayJayFrench

    JayJayFrench Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card Yellow Card Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2017
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    9,538
    Scouting locations to build Trump's wall.
     
    Bubzeh, Clippy, Wadtucket and 2 others like this.
  13. Midnighter

    Midnighter Red Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2009
    Messages:
    8,807
    Likes Received:
    3,651
    Say you were busy modding Sherdog.
     
    Bubzeh, Clippy, Wadtucket and 2 others like this.
  14. The Hash Slinging Slasher

    The Hash Slinging Slasher Blue Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2016
    Messages:
    852
    Likes Received:
    1,446
    Location:
    Right behind you
    There’s no better way to start a job than dishonesty right from the get-go
    <NoneOfMy>
     
  15. ithinktheymad

    ithinktheymad Black Belt

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2011
    Messages:
    6,965
    Likes Received:
    4,324
    Location:
    Socal
    Caring for sick relative.
     
    Bubzeh, Clippy, Wadtucket and 2 others like this.
  16. ralphc1

    ralphc1 Steel Belt Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2009
    Messages:
    25,087
    Likes Received:
    14,209
    Say you were in prison for beating the last person who didn't hire you.
     
    Bubzeh, Clippy, Wadtucket and 14 others like this.
  17. TankAbbott4Eva

    TankAbbott4Eva Red Belt

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2010
    Messages:
    8,197
    Likes Received:
    3,010
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    Sometimes you need to do what you can to get in the door and prove yourself from there, we all need to work man.
     
  18. sniper

    sniper Sergei Kharitonov

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2005
    Messages:
    5,984
    Likes Received:
    15,304
    Whatever you do, don't lie

    There's nothing worse than having to keep a lie like whatever you could come up with, going
     
    Clippy, Wadtucket and cmw43 like this.
  19. cooks1

    cooks1 No matter where you go-there you are

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2007
    Messages:
    13,480
    Likes Received:
    3,335
    Location:
    St. Augustine, FL
    No Problem. 5 years is the perfect amount of time a highly disciplined and motivated person would need to acquire a bachelors and masters from a prestigious university. Just throw it on there.

    I suggest MIT.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/27/us/27mit.html
     
    Clippy, sideboob, Wadtucket and 3 others like this.
  20. Dusty Rhodes

    Dusty Rhodes Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,491
    Likes Received:
    7,496
    Location:
    Jim Crockett Promotions
    Just tell them that you're a lowlife and you're honestly just trying to start over
     
    Bubzeh, Clippy, Wadtucket and 3 others like this.

Share This Page