I was assaulted by my own sweater today

Clippy

Clippy

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@plutonium
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So there I was trying to break into my own shed to store wood my Grandfather stole and that fuckin wind boys. I finally outsmarted my compost bin by bungee cording it to my back deck rail post. Boys those $3 bungee cord containers are good value, small but tough little bastards and a container for storage to boot

Anyway the wind has been NUTS lately. INSANE winds. Running back and fourth throwing tires in my car after burning a lock with a tiny blow torch lighter doesn't the wind gust come at me hard and my sweater string for the hood which was dangling about is caught in a fierce gust and the aglet smashes me in the FACE SO HARD. Seriously I was astonished at the force and pain, the aglet hurt like a bastard and I actually felt offended. I would rather take a punch to the face than what I experienced with that painful pinhole on my cheek. Seriously whip yourself in the face with a shoe string and tell me I'm wrong. I swore and everything and was so mad at an inanimate object.

Tell me times you've yelled at inanimate objects friends
 
Tune in next week for the further adventures, folks!!

Same Clip Time, Same Clip Channel!!
 
And yet some people still perceive Canadians to be sissies. Hopefully this story from this brave young man will open some eyes
 
the Sweater of Levitation strikes again!

maxresdefault.jpg
 
One time I was just pedalling along on my bike at night minding my own business when out of nowhere this group of high school kids came up behind me on motorcycles
and forced me off the road.

I fell down the embankment and hurt myself pretty bad. I blamed my bike though, I shouted at it and got so mad I threw it in the trash.
The next day after I got up I found my bike outside my apartment, it was looking brand new, someone had fixed it and it had been cleaned, it was super shiny.

I later found out it was the Okinawan maintenance man who had seen me come off my bike the night before and pulled my bike out of the trash, we ended up becoming good friends, he later went on to teach me Karate and how to trim and care for little trees, under his guidance, I went on to win the All Valley Karate championships, and it was all because of my stupid bike.

I also went on a trip to Okinawa with him, but that's a different story.
 
Arqueto176 said:
One time I was just pedalling along on my bike at night minding my own business when out of nowhere this group of high school kids came up behind me on motorcycles
and forced me off the road.

I fell down the embankment and hurt myself pretty bad. I blamed my bike though, I shouted at it and got so mad I threw it in the trash.
The next day after I got up I found my bike outside my apartment, it was looking brand new, someone had fixed it and it had been cleaned, it was super shiny.

I later found out it was the Okinawan maintenance man who had seen me come off my bike the night before and pulled my bike out of the trash, we ended up becoming good friends, he later went on to teach me Karate and how to trim and care for little trees, under his guidance, I went on to win the All Valley Karate championships, and it was all because of my stupid bike.

I also went on a trip to Okinawa with him, but that's a different story.
Click to expand...

Oh no
 
That reminds me of this time I went jogging at night wearing a hoody and the hoody strings to tighten it kept bouncing up and hitting me in the eye on every step so I had to squint my eyes but it was already dark out so I was basically jogging in the dark with very limited vision and I slipped on ice.
 
Clippy said:
So there I was trying to break into my own shed to store wood my Grandfather stole and that fuckin wind boys. I finally outsmarted my compost bin by bungee cording it to my back deck rail post. Boys those $3 bungee cord containers are good value, small but tough little bastards and a container for storage to boot

Anyway the wind has been NUTS lately. INSANE winds. Running back and fourth throwing tires in my car after burning a lock with a tiny blow torch lighter doesn't the wind gust come at me hard and my sweater string for the hood which was dangling about is caught in a fierce gust and the aglet smashes me in the FACE SO HARD. Seriously I was astonished at the force and pain, the aglet hurt like a bastard and I actually felt offended. I would rather take a punch to the face than what I experienced with that painful pinhole on my cheek. Seriously whip yourself in the face with a shoe string and tell me I'm wrong. I swore and everything and was so mad at an inanimate object.

Tell me times you've yelled at inanimate objects friends
Click to expand...

You're lucky you weren't assaulted by a real sweater.

fedorsweater2.jpg
 
How do you guys not know you are supposed to pull the string out of your hoodie ?
 
I’ve boxed a few cabinet doors that dared to remain open above my head after I failed to close them. Not gonna lie
 
“Running back and fourth throwing tires in my car after burning a lock with a tiny blow torch lighter“


Classic Clippy action
 
Clippy said:
So there I was trying to break into my own shed to store wood my Grandfather stole and that fuckin wind boys. I finally outsmarted my compost bin by bungee cording it to my back deck rail post. Boys those $3 bungee cord containers are good value, small but tough little bastards and a container for storage to boot

Anyway the wind has been NUTS lately. INSANE winds. Running back and fourth throwing tires in my car after burning a lock with a tiny blow torch lighter doesn't the wind gust come at me hard and my sweater string for the hood which was dangling about is caught in a fierce gust and the aglet smashes me in the FACE SO HARD. Seriously I was astonished at the force and pain, the aglet hurt like a bastard and I actually felt offended. I would rather take a punch to the face than what I experienced with that painful pinhole on my cheek. Seriously whip yourself in the face with a shoe string and tell me I'm wrong. I swore and everything and was so mad at an inanimate object.

Tell me times you've yelled at inanimate objects friends
Click to expand...

You black kids and your hoodies!
 
Start your training now! I'd say in little of a months consistent training and it won't get so brave again.
 
MixMartialFarts said:
That reminds me of this time I went jogging at night wearing a hoody and the hoody strings to tighten it kept bouncing up and hitting me in the eye on every step so I had to squint my eyes but it was already dark out so I was basically jogging in the dark with very limited vision and I slipped on ice.
Click to expand...

I was running, and I slipped on ice, and Butters was on the sidewalk with his pants down, and when I fell, my mouth landed on his penis, and just then I thought of this funny joke and started laughing and gave this thumbs up...
 
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