I will never surrender

- Explosive pushups

- Rings
ss
- Abwheel

- Pullups 40kgx2/22.5x8/20x9

- Benchpulls 3 sets 80kg

- Arms
 
Still training 3 times a week. Mostly rings as I wanna get this iron cross down.
 
graedy said:
If things go fine I will have the pouch which means no ileostomy bag after two more surgeries. One of them being another big one. I have to admit that I am very afraid fo this other big surgery which I will have probably done in december (or whenever my bloodwork says that I am fully recovered from the last 3 years + 2 the two surgeries (colectomy+ileus 4 days later).
This surgery was indeed traumatic. 14 days of no sleep and just pain really left me with nothing but a deathwish at some points. I was completelly out of this world for a long while. Just lying there, sweating like never before in my life, having like 10 pipes going in and out of my body and all I wanted was relief, feeling nothing and if it was just for 5 minutes. The pain was permanently on a level about what one can tolerate. And the pain an ileus causes is just out of this world. Some hours before they decided to cut me open again I was so run down with my nerves that I just started crying like a baby and couldnt stop for at least 5 minutes straight. I am not yet over this experience and I sometimes break in a sweat thinking about those days. After the 3rd time back to ICU and seeing the docs really worrying I also knew that if things would go on like that there was a chance my deathwish came to truth. After I was back to normal station for the last time and things were going in a halfway posistive way and I was able to leave my bed on my own, I got out of bed, got down on my knees on the floor, stretched out my hands in front of me, palms facing upwards and cried feeling the biggest relif ever in my whole life.
After torturing me for years the colon really left me with a blow.
But what do I care about the past? What do I care about the future? Things always go different than expected anyway.
I will have the next surgery as sson as possible, I will again keep to what Winston Curchill said ("If you are going through, keep going.") and one day there will be the day I will look back to all this and think: "Man, this was so long ago. Seems unreal to me nowadays."

And now I go take a shower and then go for a walk...



P.S.: Squats and stuff is totally out of the question. This kind of pressure on my abdominals would just rip me apart at the moment. Once I have the pouch I can do all this funstuff again. But until then I will be happy once I can support the weight of my own legs with my abs.
Click to expand...



Was randomly reading some pages in the log and found this log entry.
Just wanted to say to my old past: "Man, this was so long ago. Seems unreal to me nowadays."

After a 40 hours + workweek I now gonna go training and afterwards go out partying.
Again I passed all my exams this semesters and one really big one even with the best grade possible. On top of that I really love studying.
On monday I gonna leave to Portugal for vacation with my gilrfriend and also meet a very good friend there.



It was worth it.
 
Wow... I will remember you when I lift weights, or wrestle, or perform my supercircuit. You're an inspiration.
 
Thank you.

Vid from the tug of war 2009 as a promo vid for the tug of war 2011:

 
Hey, I started reading your log, I read the first 4 pages and then I had to stop... It was just too hard for me. I can't beleive what you are going through (I don't know if you are doing better now, I hope so).

But aneway, thanks for the inspiration, I really wish you the best of luck! I just started lifting but I've been doing martial arts for a couple of years now, expecting to go pro in less than one year...

Whenever I feel like giving up, or surrendering, I'll remember you, and I'll keep pushing forward!
 
I am doing pretty much fine nowadays after a 3 year battle.


In case anyone wonders: I am still training. Health is very unstable the last couple of weeks. But I am pretty sure that I will hit the full iron cross in the next 2-3 weeks. I also have an appointment with a surgeon because of my ankle. So I hope to be able to squat,sprint, DL etc. in 2012 again. We will see....
 
Sorry to hear that the ankle is still giving you trouble, Graedy.

You damned well better post a pic/video of that iron cross when you hit it.
 
Good luck with everything graedy read all 258 pages the last few days and feel like I know you now, tried to stop but just couldn't. All I can say is keep lifting and stay healthy
 
Thx. I am glad you had a good read.

Little update on myself:
While training this june and july went really fucking awesome, which means that I trained hard, ate big got big and strong (the ringtraining transfered over to every other upper body lift - e.g. I repped out with two plates on the bench after a grueling ring session with ease while not having benched for months).
Anyway... things changed from there. The Jpouch all of a sudden made a whole lot of trouble and no matter what I did I wasn't able to get it under control. So the last couple of months I lost pretty much all my strength and muscle and am now at a point where I think about having another surgery with a permanent ileostomy as the result.
This would mean: Lifting no more than 5kg for the rest of my life but it would also put an end to all these ups and downs. Maybe I will become a good swimmer...
I haven't decided yet but if things don'T get under control soon I will have to decide and even if they do there is just no longterm solution in sight exceot for the surgery.
 
On the positive side all else in life goes really good despite the health problems and would go even better without them.
So with a permament ileostomy bag I could stop taking the boatloads of anitbiotics which make me tired and thus unable to concentrate. Also the pain would be gone.
So all in al I would have so much more energy I could spend studying and later become a very good scientist. There would be the ileostomybag as a constant handicap. Once I have arranged myself with it I should be doing just fine.
At the moment my handicap is very unstable going from "no handicap at all" to "massively handicapped" and back and forth within days making it very hard to adopt.
It really is those ups and downs that wears you out.
But then again I love lifting and gymnastics and would really love to go back to grappling. So the surgery would also be like cutting of the hand of a musican who absolutelly loves playing the piano telling him that he still can play the harmonica (swimming, cycling). Yes, I love sports in general but I am only passionate about all sports involving high levels of strength and tension and never really enjoyed endurance sports.
So it really is a hard decision.
 
Best of luck Graedy. You have a very tough decision to make and I have no advice to give cause I have no idea what I'd do in your situation. I wish you all the best though whichever way you decide to go from now, you have always been a real inspiration to many people on here.
 
Thanks, ronin.
From a psychological, scientific point of view it is kind of interesting to watch myself go through the process of highly complex (there is no right or wrong) decision making.
I can make pro and con lists all day. Change the emphasis of the arguments back and forth. In the end it will probably be very little things that cause the direction in which the decision goes in this case.
Anyway... as there have been many cases in which people asked about what is nowadays known about the pathogenetic process of Ulcerative colitis: Here is a meatanalysis from 2011 https://rapidshare.com/files/1285808485/ulcerative_colitis_2011.pdf in English.
 
Lifting is a passion but also just a hobby. Take care of yourself and start playing video games like me.
 
Zerocrew1984 said:
Lifting is a passion but also just a hobby. Take care of yourself and start playing video games like me.
Click to expand...

tumblr_lb7orevEHh1qzmowao1_500.jpg
 
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