I don't really think this is that much of a problem. The overwhelming majority of people don't get offended by anything but a couple of really vile slurs that everybody knows. If you do offend someone by accident, say you didn't know and apologize. The vast majority of the time when people do get offended, it's not the word, but how it was used. But if you're genuinely asking:
Good example that was offensive but was reclaimed. If you use it as a straight person, nobody is going to be offended unless you use it in a derogatory manner. I've used it plenty of times with plenty of homosexuals, speaking of which...
Really? To who. I use it all the time and have never run into that.
Yeah, but nobody's really going to be upset if someone genuinely didn't know and apologizes. And hell, there're still tons of people getting degrees from the School of Oriental and African Studies in London.
Yup.
I really have no idea how the idea got around that this ever was. I'm sure there were a handful of people, somewhere, who found it offensive. If you ever manage to find one of them, apologize and move on. If they don't let it go, they're the asshole, not you.
Yeah, that's how most people learn that something is offensive to someone. So they apologize, and then it's no big deal. Might you run into some asshole looking for a reason to be offended that won't let it go? Sure. There are assholes of every creed and color. I can't think of a single person who has had their career affected by using an ethnic slur when it wasn't being used in a deliberately derogatory manner. Relax. If you accidentally offend someone, apologize like you would if you accidentally bumped into them. It happens to everyone. It's not that big a deal.