Might have a Crush on my Friend

Don Quixote said:
I’m not sure how everyone else’s life is, but I’ve found life too fast paced to really develop any kind of intimate friendships with women. If I couldn’t get the ball rolling and make something happen soon, I’d move on to something else.
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Are you a millennial?
 
I Am Legion said:
Take her out for drinks. Steer the conversation towards sex. Make it about you. When she gets up to pee, check the seat out. If there is a wet spot, go for it.
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Sniff the seat as well.
 
So she has a boyfriend and texts you constantly? She must think you're gay. Has she invited you to go shopping yet?
 
you should write a poem about it and recite it in front of her and her boyfriend
 
GSP vs Conor in 2019 said:
Elaborate on what not physically your type means? I’m getting conflicted messages because you say this on multiple occasions yet refer to her having a nice body and being cute.
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Means she's way better looking and way out of his league
 
Never understood having girls as friend. I'm to much of a fuck anything that moves type of person. They'd have to be fucking ugly as fuck for me to be friends with them and even then I'd rather just hang out with my friends that are guys.
 
Poetry Recital?


Poetry Recital?

 
Is this a fucking plot for a hallmark movie?
 
method115 said:
Never understood having girls as friend. I'm to much of a fuck any guy that moves type of person. They'd have to be fucking ugly as fuck for me to be friends with them and even then I'd rather just hang out with my friends that are gays.
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That was fun
 
Why has No one brought up the poetry recital? Thats pretty gay.

Anyways, to try be productive and not just an ass... if she's really that great is it not worth a shot?
 
If she is so cool, she can handle honesty. Just tell her you have a crush on her and don't know how to proceed in the friendship.

Don't just ghost her while you 'work on your feelings' - that's super stupid idea, so disrespectful and is only going to result in her thinking you are an asshole or a weirdo or both. It's an almost guaranteed way to push her away. Don't leave her guessing is what i'm saying, be honest about your feelings.

Also: It takes two to make a friendship/relationship, so don't feel like you have to assume 100% responsibility for wherever it goes. It's ok to not have all the answers. If you are honest with her, and invite her response, you 'share' the responsibility so to speak, which is as it should be in a friendship. I mean it's not like she is some teeny-bopper whom you have to protect, right - she is a grown person who sounds like she has got her shit together - why not show her respect accordingly?
 
Pugilistic said:
I have many female friends, some whom I love to death but it's strictly platonic. In my head, once I establish a line of friendship, I don't cross it. Friends are friends, and the women I have pursued are well outside my social circle. And these days I don't do much pursuing at all.

But here's this chick, who has thrown a curve ball at me, whom I have grown to respect in the short amount of time I've known her, who I find myself thinking about more than I do any of my other female friends.

When I first met her in the summer, I didn't really think much of her. She's not physically my type. Her personality is like every other LA chick I've met. She's probably young, stupid, and just wants to party all the time.

We only exchanged contact info because her and a bunch of others were trying to link up with us to party one night. We ended up texting a lot and hanging out more and going on a trip together, where I got to know her much better.

Now I know she's older than I first assumed, has quite a bit of knowledge and professional experience, and she actually parties way less than I do. Her personality is incredibly cool. She's just down to do anything and impressively composed in tough situations, unlike most women (and men) who are indecisive, needlessly picky, and flakey. She was also the only one of my friends to come out to support me when I did the poetry recital a couple weeks back. Not that I resent my other friends but that meant a lot to me. She's still really not my type on a physical level but she's quite cute and has a more impressive body than I expected.

I've been thinking about her quite a lot. Not about banging her (although that has crossed my mind too) but about hanging out with her. I find myself really looking forward to seeing her and chilling with her again, much more than I do with my other friends. I find myself checking my phone repeatedly throughout the day to see if she texted me. Which I think is insane. I only do that when there's some shit going down at work, or if there's a chick I really like.. What the fuck is wrong with me.

This development makes me think of how unpredictable our feelings can be (or maybe it's just mine). I didn't expect I would develop feelings for someone whom I consider a friend and isn't not my physical type, especially when I've been growing increasingly disinterested in any sort of sexual/romantic pursuit. How does attraction work anyway?

Not that any of this matters.

I'm not looking for advice on how to break out of the friendzone here as I want the opposite. As mentioned before, I don't cross the line of friendship. I'd rather maintain a potential lifelong friendship rather than pursue a bout of temporary emotions that will likely lead to heartbreak. There are also a lot of other reasons why I wouldn't pursue this. I have to manage my own feelings before it causes any trouble.

I will keep my distance from her until these feelings die down. The issue is really matter of how I go about it because I don't want her to think I dislike her. Pretend to be too busy? Use different body language around her? Tell her honestly?

Cliffs:
1. I have a crush on a friend
2. I intend to maintain the friendship
3. I may have to distance myself to manage my feelings
4. What's the best way to go about this?
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Jesus fucking Christ. She went to watch you read poetry. She wants your dick. Do you know why your other female friends did not come to watch you read poetry? Because they do not want your dick.

It seems like you know there might be 'something wrong with you'. You come across as very apathetic. But you should not buy into any of this 'in my head, I don't cross friendship lines' bullshit you keep feeding yourself. Everything you write down belies a fear of rejection.

Just ask her out or make a move the next time you see her. For fuck sakes, at least make some of these chicks put you in the friend zone. Don't just walk straight there.
 
Pugilistic said:
I have many female friends, some whom I love to death but it's strictly platonic. In my head, once I establish a line of friendship, I don't cross it. Friends are friends, and the women I have pursued are well outside my social circle. And these days I don't do much pursuing at all.

But here's this chick, who has thrown a curve ball at me, whom I have grown to respect in the short amount of time I've known her, who I find myself thinking about more than I do any of my other female friends.

When I first met her in the summer, I didn't really think much of her. She's not physically my type. Her personality is like every other LA chick I've met. She's probably young, stupid, and just wants to party all the time.

We only exchanged contact info because her and a bunch of others were trying to link up with us to party one night. We ended up texting a lot and hanging out more and going on a trip together, where I got to know her much better.

Now I know she's older than I first assumed, has quite a bit of knowledge and professional experience, and she actually parties way less than I do. Her personality is incredibly cool. She's just down to do anything and impressively composed in tough situations, unlike most women (and men) who are indecisive, needlessly picky, and flakey. She was also the only one of my friends to come out to support me when I did the poetry recital a couple weeks back. Not that I resent my other friends but that meant a lot to me. She's still really not my type on a physical level but she's quite cute and has a more impressive body than I expected.

I've been thinking about her quite a lot. Not about banging her (although that has crossed my mind too) but about hanging out with her. I find myself really looking forward to seeing her and chilling with her again, much more than I do with my other friends. I find myself checking my phone repeatedly throughout the day to see if she texted me. Which I think is insane. I only do that when there's some shit going down at work, or if there's a chick I really like.. What the fuck is wrong with me.

This development makes me think of how unpredictable our feelings can be (or maybe it's just mine). I didn't expect I would develop feelings for someone whom I consider a friend and isn't not my physical type, especially when I've been growing increasingly disinterested in any sort of sexual/romantic pursuit. How does attraction work anyway?

Not that any of this matters.

I'm not looking for advice on how to break out of the friendzone here as I want the opposite. As mentioned before, I don't cross the line of friendship. I'd rather maintain a potential lifelong friendship rather than pursue a bout of temporary emotions that will likely lead to heartbreak. There are also a lot of other reasons why I wouldn't pursue this. I have to manage my own feelings before it causes any trouble.

I will keep my distance from her until these feelings die down. The issue is really matter of how I go about it because I don't want her to think I dislike her. Pretend to be too busy? Use different body language around her? Tell her honestly?

Cliffs:
1. I have a crush on a friend
2. I intend to maintain the friendship
3. I may have to distance myself to manage my feelings
4. What's the best way to go about this?
Click to expand...

You went on a trip together and didn't have sex?
41M4AY6MBFL._SX378_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
 
People giving you a hard time, but us more experienced dudes know there is something to learn from this kind of relationship. One thing I do know is that once you start to crush, it's not easy to stop. Consider if it might be easier to stop the friendship now before you find yourself unhappily in love. Hard to do, I know.
 
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