Might have a Crush on my Friend

I have many female friends, some whom I love to death but it's strictly platonic. In my head, once I establish a line of friendship, I don't cross it. Friends are friends, and the women I have pursued are well outside my social circle. And these days I don't do much pursuing at all.

But here's this chick, who has thrown a curve ball at me, whom I have grown to respect in the short amount of time I've known her, who I find myself thinking about more than I do any of my other female friends.

When I first met her in the summer, I didn't really think much of her. She's not physically my type. Her personality is like every other LA chick I've met. She's probably young, stupid, and just wants to party all the time.

We only exchanged contact info because her and a bunch of others were trying to link up with us to party one night. We ended up texting a lot and hanging out more and going on a trip together, where I got to know her much better.

Now I know she's older than I first assumed, has quite a bit of knowledge and professional experience, and she actually parties way less than I do. Her personality is incredibly cool. She's just down to do anything and impressively composed in tough situations, unlike most women (and men) who are indecisive, needlessly picky, and flakey. She was also the only one of my friends to come out to support me when I did the poetry recital a couple weeks back. Not that I resent my other friends but that meant a lot to me. She's still really not my type on a physical level but she's quite cute and has a more impressive body than I expected.

I've been thinking about her quite a lot. Not about banging her (although that has crossed my mind too) but about hanging out with her. I find myself really looking forward to seeing her and chilling with her again, much more than I do with my other friends. I find myself checking my phone repeatedly throughout the day to see if she texted me. Which I think is insane. I only do that when there's some shit going down at work, or if there's a chick I really like.. What the fuck is wrong with me.

This development makes me think of how unpredictable our feelings can be (or maybe it's just mine). I didn't expect I would develop feelings for someone whom I consider a friend and isn't not my physical type, especially when I've been growing increasingly disinterested in any sort of sexual/romantic pursuit. How does attraction work anyway?

Not that any of this matters.

I'm not looking for advice on how to break out of the friendzone here as I want the opposite. As mentioned before, I don't cross the line of friendship. I'd rather maintain a potential lifelong friendship rather than pursue a bout of temporary emotions that will likely lead to heartbreak. There are also a lot of other reasons why I wouldn't pursue this. I have to manage my own feelings before it causes any trouble.

I will keep my distance from her until these feelings die down. The issue is really matter of how I go about it because I don't want her to think I dislike her. Pretend to be too busy? Use different body language around her? Tell her honestly?

Cliffs:
1. I have a crush on a friend
2. I intend to maintain the friendship
3. I may have to distance myself to manage my feelings
4. What's the best way to go about this?

Wtf is wrong with you dude.
 
I have a friend who actually fucks one of his female friends

No drama no bullshit no nothing even gangbanged her lol

Now that's a friend worth keeping.

I meant the female friend.

As for your friend, dump him for not calling you over for the gangbang.
 
I don't judge as I've done the same but jesus lol. I didn't think I'd hear I need to grow up because I want to respect someone's relationship.

You obviously don't care but I've been the other guy before and it wasn't the best feeling in the world.
That's admirable but lettuce be cereal. If she's into you and being overt about it then let's face it, her current relationship is headed for termination at best and full-blown cuckery at worst. Possible homicide. You have your life and only your life, and only this life to live it in. Just listen to your heart, that's what I do


Oh and vote for Pedro
 
You gotta rethink some thing man. But also think a lot less of that makes sense.
 
what about city pigeon hunting? that sounds crazy and awesome

I haven't done it yet but I got myself an awesome slingshot for this purpose.

So she has a boyfriend and texts you constantly? She must think you're gay. Has she invited you to go shopping yet?
Yes

People giving you a hard time, but us more experienced dudes know there is something to learn from this kind of relationship. One thing I do know is that once you start to crush, it's not easy to stop. Consider if it might be easier to stop the friendship now before you find yourself unhappily in love. Hard to do, I know.

if you really love her you are setting yourself up for some serious lovesickness. are you a glutton for punishment?
That's admirable but lettuce be cereal. If she's into you and being overt about it then let's face it, her current relationship is headed for termination at best and full-blown cuckery at worst. Possible homicide. You have your life and only your life, and only this life to live it in. Just listen to your heart, that's what I do


Oh and vote for Pedro
I'm already kind of getting over it after getting this off my chest. I haven't told any of my friends about this which is why I wanted to just get it out. I'm not love stricken or heartbroken. I'll likely be completely over it in a few days. I'm all about living my life but not making a move on my friend doesn't seem like it has a bearing in that regard.

If she is so cool, she can handle honesty. Just tell her you have a crush on her and don't know how to proceed in the friendship.

Don't just ghost her while you 'work on your feelings' - that's super stupid idea, so disrespectful and is only going to result in her thinking you are an asshole or a weirdo or both. It's an almost guaranteed way to push her away. Don't leave her guessing is what i'm saying, be honest about your feelings.

Also: It takes two to make a friendship/relationship, so don't feel like you have to assume 100% responsibility for wherever it goes. It's ok to not have all the answers. If you are honest with her, and invite her response, you 'share' the responsibility so to speak, which is as it should be in a friendship. I mean it's not like she is some teeny-bopper whom you have to protect, right - she is a grown person who sounds like she has got her shit together - why not show her respect accordingly?
This is great advice. I'll hang out with her just the same and if I feel like it'll be a problem I'll share it with her honestly and let the chips fall where they may.
 
That's admirable but lettuce be cereal. If she's into you and being overt about it then let's face it, her current relationship is headed for termination at best and full-blown cuckery at worst. Possible homicide. You have your life and only your life, and only this life to live it in. Just listen to your heart, that's what I do


Oh and vote for Pedro

 
womens-hit-it-then-quit-it-t-shirt-funny-saying-sarcastic-novelty-medium-black
 
You know the whole point is that I want to remain in the friendzone.

Definitely.

I’ll tell you, man. The best romantic relationships/marriages happen when your lady is also your best friend and your personalities click and you’re completely comfortable with them.
 
Start treating her like crap and confuse her until she wants you, or watch her laugh at you while she bangs wtevr guys she knows would bother you the most. 2 choices.
 
Just take it slow and have fun. Its better to remain friends if you dont think u can commit to a romantic relationship. U have to be careful not to hurt her and lose teh friendship.

Anyway, there is no shame in falling in love with a non 10/10 woman. As corny as it sounds, beauty does fade. Its much better to be with someone that you have a connection with than a pretty bitch that u cant stand.
The younger 10/10s don't make the best babies. They are skinny, generally sluts, and they do too many drugs. Nice neighborhoods have some dolled up skanks, but they have a lot of thick 7/10s as wives.
 
Is this Goonerviews alt account?
 
Simple solution: Focus on her flaws, and then go out and date other women.
 
When you’re 65 do you really think this person will still be your friend?

She will either be a memory, a memory of sex, or nothing to you. Or maybe your wife.
 
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