My Sunday

[Bballfan123]

I had quite the Sun-day, fellow sherdogger

I made the unfortunate mistake of disposing of both my girlfriend and my own's car keys. leaving us both with no vehicle.

Where were these items? I thought to myself, while perusing the local paper (yes, I read). I spent roughly 6 hours looking for them, as I had company over and was wildly gesticulating the entire time. I am known for my bombastic gestures, and the keys could have been anywhere. Behind a plant, under a novel, anywhere.

I ventured outside, as perhaps I had dropped them in a nearby vase by mistake. My neighbor was relieving their dog of waste and I ventured a conversation.

:"hello, how goes it? you have not seen one or perhaps two sets of car keys have you?"

"I dont know bro, hope you didnt throw them away by accident."

i didn't respond, simply wandered off muttering to myself. I returned to my domicile, eager to begin work again searching. I searched not simply the first closet, but also the second,, third, and quaternary. No luck.

:"what the deuce?" I said to myslef aloud, while searching for these car keys. perhaps that peasant is right! I will inspect the gar-bag!"

I went downstair again to investigate the waste recepticle. It was of an oblong shape, so I had to dirty myself and climb into it. there was much garbage juice, and several unusual pieces of meat i did not remember discarding. yet i continued to dig, my efforts growing more profound by the hour. at last! soliloquiy!

great success! i found my set of keys! yet the girlfriend's remain... hidden.... from sight....

i return upstairs.

"what the heck!?" I gasp. where are these accursed items? I inspect the upstairs garbage receptacple- nothing. I renew my search, and find nothing. THe sicth hour draws near, I have been searching for a quarter of a day and am not finished. I return outside. I again inspect the outside garbage receptacle, and find little but more garbage. I flip it upside down, and begin to inspect the contents in a scientific manner.

a light pops into my head! a fluttering emotion, much like being admitted to heaven in your underpants! i have found the second set of keys! great success!

have you ever had a day like i just experienced?

 

[Get To Da Choppa]

I had quite the Sun-day, fellow sherdogger

I made the unfortunate mistake of disposing of both my girlfriend and my own's car keys. leaving us both with no vehicle.

Where were these items? I thought to myself, while perusing the local paper (yes, I read). I spent roughly 6 hours looking for them, as I had company over and was wildly gesticulating the entire time. I am known for my bombastic gestures, and the keys could have been anywhere. Behind a plant, under a novel, anywhere.

I ventured outside, as perhaps I had dropped them in a nearby vase by mistake. My neighbor was relieving their dog of waste and I ventured a conversation.

:"hello, how goes it? you have not seen one or perhaps two sets of car keys have you?"

"I dont know bro, hope you didnt throw them away by accident."

i didn't respond, simply wandered off muttering to myself. I returned to my domicile, eager to begin work again searching. I searched not simply the first closet, but also the second,, third, and quaternary. No luck.

:"what the deuce?" I said to myslef aloud, while searching for these car keys. perhaps that peasant is right! I will inspect the gar-bag!"

I went downstair again to investigate the waste recepticle. It was of an oblong shape, so I had to dirty myself and climb into it. there was much garbage juice, and several unusual pieces of meat i did not remember discarding. yet i continued to dig, my efforts growing more profound by the hour. at last! soliloquiy!

great success! i found my set of keys! yet the girlfriend's remain... hidden.... from sight....

i return upstairs.

"what the heck!?" I gasp. where are these accursed items? I inspect the upstairs garbage receptacple- nothing. I renew my search, and find nothing. THe sicth hour draws near, I have been searching for a quarter of a day and am not finished. I return outside. I again inspect the outside garbage receptacle, and find little but more garbage. I flip it upside down, and begin to inspect the contents in a scientific manner.

a light pops into my head! a fluttering emotion, much like being admitted to heaven in your underpants! i have found the second set of keys! great success!

have you ever had a day like i just experienced?

Congrats on spending half of Sunday digging through garbage and another half a day writing this masterpiece. We are so proud of you, even though you likely didn't get laid because you smell like rotten meat

 

[SakurabasEar]

I had a bad habit of locking my 08' dodge caliber keys inside the car. I did it 3 times within half a year because I'm so fucking dumb

 

[mb23100]

In high school I drove a Mercury Mystique that you could pull the key out while it was running. I found this out when I came outside from a friends house to my car running and locked. I called pop-a-lock and they came and unlocked it only to be baffled that there were no keys in the ignition. They were in my pocket the whole time.

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

Losing keys is the fucking worst.

I have systems, but I lost a set of house keys earlier this month. Inconvenient and we thought that I may have left my keys in the door, so security was a concern.

I checked all of the usual places and tore the flat apart. I had to use my missus set of keys when I worked, then I had to walk a mile after work to get a spare set cut for £34, walked back home, found that the security door key didn't work and had to walk back into town to get it done.

Four days passed and on my first day off, whilst I was walking to the shop to get food, my missus calls up and tells me that she found them in my work trousers, in my back pocket.

 

[Adamant]

I don't remember what I did on Sunday.

 

[Zer]

I had a similar experience except I had to fly out to a mysterious island just outside Hong Kong and fight 3 guys to the death to get the keys back. Still dealing with the PTSD from that one. Also it was a tuesday

 

[TheTickG]

I had quite the Sun-day, fellow sherdogger

I made the unfortunate mistake of disposing of both my girlfriend and my own's car keys. leaving us both with no vehicle.

Did you just admit to killing your gf, then threw her and your keys in the river?

Hate to see what your Mondays look like...

 

[davidlemonparty]

I had company over and was wildly gesticulating the entire time. I am known for my bombastic gesture

This is a very charming sentence

 

[tank666]

I had quite the Sun-day, fellow sherdogger

I made the unfortunate mistake of disposing of both my girlfriend and my own's car keys. leaving us both with no vehicle.

Where were these items? I thought to myself, while perusing the local paper (yes, I read). I spent roughly 6 hours looking for them, as I had company over and was wildly gesticulating the entire time. I am known for my bombastic gestures, and the keys could have been anywhere. Behind a plant, under a novel, anywhere.

I ventured outside, as perhaps I had dropped them in a nearby vase by mistake. My neighbor was relieving their dog of waste and I ventured a conversation.

:"hello, how goes it? you have not seen one or perhaps two sets of car keys have you?"

"I dont know bro, hope you didnt throw them away by accident."

i didn't respond, simply wandered off muttering to myself. I returned to my domicile, eager to begin work again searching. I searched not simply the first closet, but also the second,, third, and quaternary. No luck.

:"what the deuce?" I said to myslef aloud, while searching for these car keys. perhaps that peasant is right! I will inspect the gar-bag!"

I went downstair again to investigate the waste recepticle. It was of an oblong shape, so I had to dirty myself and climb into it. there was much garbage juice, and several unusual pieces of meat i did not remember discarding. yet i continued to dig, my efforts growing more profound by the hour. at last! soliloquiy!

great success! i found my set of keys! yet the girlfriend's remain... hidden.... from sight....

i return upstairs.

"what the heck!?" I gasp. where are these accursed items? I inspect the upstairs garbage receptacple- nothing. I renew my search, and find nothing. THe sicth hour draws near, I have been searching for a quarter of a day and am not finished. I return outside. I again inspect the outside garbage receptacle, and find little but more garbage. I flip it upside down, and begin to inspect the contents in a scientific manner.

a light pops into my head! a fluttering emotion, much like being admitted to heaven in your underpants! i have found the second set of keys! great success!

have you ever had a day like i just experienced?

Cool story. No bullshit I have looked for my car keys before for several minutes, getting angrier and angrier. Then realised I was actually holding them in my hand whole time.

 

[Pliny Pete]

I once bought a car off someone, 05 Buick LeSabre(damn good car) and thought I lost the keys the very next day
I was searching through my house and saw the Buick keys setting right there several times but for some dumb ass reason(drugs and alcohol most likely) I was looking for a set of Dodge keys
It wasn't til I contacted the former owner, who then searched around their house til they found their set of old spare keys which I then went and picked up from them, that I realized how fucking stupid I was
LoL whoops¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Bballfan123]

Congrats on spending half of Sunday digging through garbage and another half a day writing this masterpiece. We are so proud of you, even though you likely didn't get laid because you smell like rotten meat

I had sex 3 times i got meat juice game