People who lack social skills in BJJ

Balto said:
Most of the times, the answer is nothing. Maybe he had a hard day at work, maybe he's feeling a little sick, etc. Sometimes the answer is "I am thinking about killing myself." I got that answer once. I'm glad I asked. So was he. I think I was the only one who cared enough to ask.
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Fuck what did you say back to him? I'm so terrible at discussing things like that, if he said it to me there'd probably be a 3 second pause followed by me saying "soo you've seen the new avengers?"
 
Was Exiled said:
Fuck what did you say back to him? I'm so terrible at discussing things like that, if he said it to me there'd probably be a 3 second pause followed by me saying "soo you've seen the new avengers?"
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He was my friend. We talked about it. He promised that he wouldn't try anything. He had already been going to a psychiatrist about it. He had attempted a few times before but never went through with it.

He still struggles with depression, but BJJ has helped him a lot. It gave him a purpose in life when he had none. According to him, it saved his life. It gave him a reason to live.

He's a black belt now and has contributed a lot to the art. What would have happened if none of his training partners bothered to care about him? I guess I don't really want to imagine that outcome.
 
I'm basically short-sighted as fuck.

I take off my glasses and the only person I can really see is my drilling partner.
I miss 70% of the mat drama that goes on.

When I got promoted to my coach talked the receptionist and then dug around for a blue belt and put it on a bench in front of the class (according to my friend—there were only 1 or 2 white belts in the class).
I didn't have a clue until they called my name at the end.
 
yetanother said:
Have you tried eye-contacts?
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Tangentially, I once saw someone lose their contact during BJJ, find it on the mat, and PUT IT RIGHT BACK IN WITHOUT WASHING IT.

Also, if you think BJJ athletes have poor social skills, you should try a postcollegiate distance running team. Runners are weirdos. But man, can they drink some beer.
 
yetanother said:
Have you tried eye-contacts?
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Yeah.
They worked fine, but I don't really like contacts.
If I'm wearing them already then I'll keep them in, but I don't put them on to train.

When I pass I do a lot of over-under style passing so my face gets grinded on a lot.
I've had them come out once or twice, and once a contact got folded up and stuck under my eyelid.
 
beat...people...up? said:
Tangentially, I once saw someone lose their contact during BJJ, find it on the mat, and PUT IT RIGHT BACK IN WITHOUT WASHING IT.

Also, if you think BJJ athletes have poor social skills, you should try a postcollegiate distance running team. Runners are weirdos. But man, can they drink some beer.
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Yeah, runners are weird, and they're all weird in the same way.
I don't know what it is.
 
Balto said:
He was my friend. We talked about it. He promised that he wouldn't try anything. He had already been going to a psychiatrist about it. He had attempted a few times before but never went through with it.

He still struggles with depression, but BJJ has helped him a lot. It gave him a purpose in life when he had none. According to him, it saved his life. It gave him a reason to live.

He's a black belt now and has contributed a lot to the art. What would have happened if none of his training partners bothered to care about him? I guess I don't really want to imagine that outcome.
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Keep checking in with him as you both age if it's remotely possible.

Too many cases like this relapse later in life.





Zankou said:
That article is indeed a hilarious treasure trove. Just the introductory sentence is pure comedy:

"If there's one negative aspect to the life of a jiu jitsu athlete it's the lack of satisfaction involved."

So then quit. Why be a retard?
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Misanthrope hates self, more at 11.
 
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JagRoss said:
Yeah, runners are weird, and they're all weird in the same way.
I don't know what it is.
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This is very true. I have a friend of about 20 years that's a runner. Strangest dude I know by far. I don't know other runners so I don't know if being a loner is an aspect of it, but I wonder since it's such a solitary activity. He's probably the most hardcore loner I know. he always says that DeNiro line from Heat: "I'm alone but I'm not loney."
 
mataleaos said:
This is very true. I have a friend of about 20 years that's a runner. Strangest dude I know by far. I don't know other runners so I don't know if being a loner is an aspect of it, but I wonder since it's such a solitary activity. He's probably the most hardcore loner I know. he always says that DeNiro line from Heat: "I'm alone but I'm not loney."
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Runners are also often hardcore masochists.
 
Balto said:
BJJ has attracted social outcasts as long as I've been doing it. I think that is a normal for this kind of sport. Sports that aren't played scholastically usually attract a decent number of kids who didn't play sports in school. Not surprisingly, these kids aren't as good socially.

The main difference I have seen is the way BJJ deals with this. The old way was to use BJJ to help change this. When I started, the gym and training partners made up the social circle for a lot of guys who otherwise would have none. We'd order UFCs, go to parties, just generally hang out a lot. We just had fun like normal people. I saw firsthand how it changed some guys' lives for the better. Guys who got bullied all the time as kids suddenly found confidence and the ability to interact socially in a normal way.

That still exists to some degree, but now there is another competing paradigm that has popped up since. That paradigm is to dedicate yourself 100% to BJJ, leaving no room for any kind of social interaction whatsoever. Rather than using BJJ to become more normal, you use BJJ to become even weirder. If you want to win gold medals, you have to be weird, right? 3% and all that. So if 97% of people hate you, good. Better train even harder, become even more socially distant, and make that 99.9%. Then you'll be a real champ.

Luckily I've seen this paradigm on the decline again after recent events. It seemed to peak around the time that creepy Jordon Schultz piece came out -- the one where he was talking about how he makes himself incapable of loving anyone, even his family, how he only feels happy maybe one day out of a year, etc.

http://www.pullingguardzine.com/blog/Jordonzinearticle.pdf

In hindsight, I think most would agree now that this article was creepy as fuck and eerily prophetic given how future events would unfold around him. But at the time, a lot of people supported his view and said that's just what it takes.

Hopefully we can see the problem now. But maybe not.
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weird u say that i noticed the hipster wimps came into the scene around 2013 everyone started growing beards and this strange oss culture came as well in 2912 i first heard people saying oss in every single facebook post cause back then ibjjf wasnt very big naga and grapplers quest was the big cheese tourneys and bjj was still a fighting sport people liked it for mma as well now since 2013 when the upside down guards reverse de la riva caught on berinbolo it changed the sport
 
Jesus, apt timing for this thread.

I'm 39. My coach is Brazilian, 30, a featherweight but a world beater.

We've got a kid that's 22 or 23. Been with us about a year. Came in a solid blue, and is now getting pretty nasty. I dkdon see a ceiling on him. He could be a Keenan if he goes for it.

I like him and have hung out with him socially quite a bit. But he's been having some problems I guess. Other people have been complaining about him. Just way too moody. Easily frustrated when he's not getting a technique. My coach was ready to suspend him or kick him out altogether. But I talked him into letting me talk to him first.

He's a good kid and I wanna make sure stays part of the club.

Meeting him this afternoon. Wish me luck
 
tekkenfan said:
weird u say that i noticed the hipster wimps came into the scene around 2013 everyone started growing beards and this strange oss culture came as well in 2912 i first heard people saying oss in every single facebook post cause back then ibjjf wasnt very big naga and grapplers quest was the big cheese tourneys and bjj was still a fighting sport people liked it for mma as well now since 2013 when the upside down guards reverse de la riva caught on berinbolo it changed the sport
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There is a huge divide between the old guard that remembers BJJ being the entry point for vale tudo, and the modern day sport BJJ guys who have no interest in that. I think it's only going to get bigger as time goes on. The other day in the gym I heard a young purple belt say BJJ should start with both people in seated guard (to avoid "wasting time" on takedowns, and to put an impetus on the person who comes up to pass), and an old school black belt (whose prized possession is a signed Mario Sperry Vale Tudo instructional set) nearly had an aneurysm.
 
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