Post Your Jokes its Friday Thread

[Kanuck99]

Made this thread so I could tell this joke. Are you ready? It's a doozy!

If you're Canadian when you enter the bathroom, and you're Canadian when you come out, what are you when you're in the Bathroom?



























European.

 

[KAZSoliloquy]

 

[Sansnom]

Your momma is so fat when I thought about her in my head bitch broke my neck.

 

[Rygu]

What happens if an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?




































He breaks his nose

 

[Kanuck99]

That hurts bro.

 

[Medical Marijuana Man]

I remember when the Harlem shake was just a black fella holding me upside down off a fire escape trying to collect his money

- Norm

 

[Kanuck99]

I remember when the Harlem shake was just a black fella holding me upside down off a fire escape trying to collect his money

- Norm

I chuckled quite a bit.

 

[Medical Marijuana Man]

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

- Jimmy Carr

 

[Kanuck99]

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?






















Damn.

 

[Kanuck99]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?





















fsh

 

[Medical Marijuana Man]

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black. That way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.


My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch “Schindler’s List.” And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can’t believe it only happened once

- Anthony Jeselnik

 

[Smokes]

I was sad yesterday when my Korean friend died.



He was So Young

 

[Kanuck99]

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said, "Wow it's pretty hot in here." The other one shouted, "Wow, a talking muffin!"

 

[Kanuck99]

What is Forrest Gump's password?























1forrest1

 

[Track Jipper]

Why is a metal band consisting of a bunch of fat guys faster than any other band???

Because of the higher band width

 

[Naught2Sixty]

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?


They're both close enough to smell it but if they eat it they'll get fired.

 

[Medical Marijuana Man]

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?


They're both close enough to smell it but if they eat it they'll get fired.

You messed that one up

They both can get close enough to smell it but they cant eat it.

A delivery driver actually got fired for that lol the customer asked the delivery place to write a joke on the box and that's what he went with.

 

[Stalkingsquid]

Whats the difference between a swimming pool and a 12 year old??




Swimming pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

 

[Sansnom]

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, she's been told twice already.

 

[Naught2Sixty]

You messed that one up

They both can get close enough to smell it but they cant eat it.

A delivery driver actually got fired for that lol the customer asked the delivery place to write a joke on the box and that's what he went with.