Pre-Season Premier League Thread v6: Crazy Rap edition

[LEWIS540]

Inter reported to want 55m euros for Perisic now

Wont knock Mou for telling both Real & Inter to go fuck themselves.

Don't think anyone would be too upset if we miss out on Morata and Perisic, tbh. Perisic especially........haven't heard a single fan who wants him. If we pay more than 35m for him, someone needs shooting.

 

[Clear Winner]

LAD

That's fucking great news, will look forward to taking him for a pint on his 18th B'day

Will send you one of these in the post

Spoiler

Started off disliking him, and not much has changed. Although I'm starting to like him a little more!



Mate I'm shocked at how good it is, even though everyone told me.

I like Tyrion Lannister, particularly after one scene where he was asked "how do you want to die?" to which he responded with "In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty"

What a fucking LAD

I just watched the episode where Rob Stark and his pregnant missus/mother got slaughtered. Those stabs to the belly were brutal AF

It gets better with multiple watches. So many little details that you can miss. Like before the red wedding they play a song called "the rains of Catemere" which is about House Lannister being ruthless. It's a song that's sung at several points during the season by different people.

Also, the political plays by Little Finger and Varys.

 

[blokeybloke]

Don't think anyone would be too upset if we miss out on Morata and Perisic, tbh. Perisic especially........haven't heard a single fan who wants him. If we pay more than 35m for him, someone needs shooting.

You've got to be disappointed so far, surely.

Barca are tied up with MSN, Real have an abundance of fwd talent, Bayern are happy with theirs.

Anything short of Utd buying a WC striker/fwd this summer will be a failure.

 

[xtramob]

Arsenal rumored to be close to signing Thomas Lemar

 

[LEWIS540]

You've got to be disappointed so far, surely.

Barca are tied up with MSN, Real have an abundance of fwd talent, Bayern are happy with theirs.

Anything short of Utd buying a WC striker/fwd this summer will be a failure.

Honestly, I'd prefer nothing than (relative) mediocrity.

Kinda hoping that Miki, Martial and Rashford step up next season. All 3 had disappointing seasons to varying degrees, and I think all 3 can offer a lot more.

Morata is obviously decent, but definitely on the low end of acceptable as far as "marquee" signings go.

 

[LEWIS540]

Anyone know anything about Talisca?

The latest next United signing apparently. Brazilian so will almost certainly fail.

 

[Dr J]

You've got to be disappointed so far, surely.

Barca are tied up with MSN, Real have an abundance of fwd talent, Bayern are happy with theirs.

Anything short of Utd buying a WC striker/fwd this summer will be a failure.

That's why Real knows they have United over a barrel. There's only a few players even pushing that caliber who are interested and available.

PSG's deal for Auba looks to have fallen through, so I guess that's another one on the list. United haven't seemed to have shown much of an interest, though.

 

[Dr J]

Anyone know anything about Talisca?

The latest next United signing apparently. Brazilian so will almost certainly fail.

Asked about him earlier. @FadeLess and @Chris Partlow gave their take. Underwhelming signing seemed to be the consensus.

 

[Dr J]

Would be hilarious if he left them high and dry.

 

[Clear Winner]

@EOW @Tobago Jones @UltimateVictory @Tules

I love these guys. Some of dem beats too!

 

[LEWIS540]

Asked about him earlier. @FadeLess and @Chris Partlow gave their take. Underwhelming signing seemed to be the consensus.

Genuinely wouldn't be too disappointed if we only ended up with Lindelof and (maybe) Fabinho.

Doesn't look like there's going to be any Pogba-esque signings, so not bothered about signings for the sake of it. We don't need anymore 7/10 players.

 

[Dr J]

According to The Sun, Morata agreed to a 5 year, £350K a week deal.

 

[Partlow]

he any good?

Meanwhile no one is available for wenker lol

He's a decent goal scorer for an midfielder, works hard, good leader he was Ajaxs captain. Probably a little high but not that egregious. Will put in more effort than Barkley does at the minimum

Apparently he wants to break the bank on Lukaku but Chelsea don't want to. This is the same reason he left Juve (arguing with club) so it could be pretty plausible

 

[blokeybloke]

According to The Sun, Morata agreed to a 5 year, £350K a week deal.

 

[Dr J]

Genuinely wouldn't be too disappointed if we only ended up with Lindelof and (maybe) Fabinho.

Doesn't look like there's going to be any Pogba-esque signings, so not bothered about signings for the sake of it. We don't need anymore 7/10 players.

No doubt we need another CM, but I think it's way too risky starting the season with Rashford and Martial as our only two 9s (assuming Rooney leaves).

 

[EOW]

According to The Sun

Stopped reading at this point

 

[LEWIS540]

No doubt we need another CM, but I think it's way too risky starting the season with Rashford and Martial as our only two 9s (assuming Rooney leaves).

Would prefer to give them a real run. Show a bit of confidence in them. Not that it will happen.

Pretty sure we'll bring in Morata, Mou will play him at #9 90 minutes per week and Martial and Rashford will continue to be misused and played out of position.

It is surely a crucial season for Martial, and I already fear for him.

 

[Shamrockftw]

Fuck me, it's been barely 24 hours and the Conor/floyd hype from Conor fans is already unbearable

 

[Good Ole Stannis's BBQ]

@SebbeSwe what are the Sweden Under 21s like? I'll probably check out their game with England tomorrow.

 

[Mga223]

Fuck me, it's been barely 24 hours and the Conor/floyd hype from Conor fans is already unbearable

Yea I'm over it, they seem to be the only people enjoying this shit show.