Seeing old friend can be very depressing

Life can be tough and it rarely turns out the way people dream it will when in school. So many variables; luck, opportunity and choices. I'm just grateful I've been okay with all 3 because I had some tough times where all 3 could have turned to shit and who knows where I would be.
They do say though that some of the least wealthy or least intelligent people can also be the happiest. If I'm being totally honest that probably describes me a bit.
 
My biggest problem is when the people recognize me and I don't remember who the hell they are. I had to go to a memorial for a friend that died the other day and I had all these people coming up to me with the "hey, how you doing? Haven't seen you in a long time" and in my mind I'm thinking "who is this fat sad sack?" while just standing there smiling and nodding my head. Then I realize who they are and it is depressing, depressing for them........
 
Most people would like to think that catching up with old friends—you may have not seen in many years—feels really good. But the truth is that some of the people you know, may currently lead pathetic lives. This can be especially sad when you think about what they once were, and what you thought they’d become.

I’m not talking about fame or fortune either. Just having a good job, and a pretty wife, or SO, seem to be things some of my old friends couldn’t do to save their lives. In addition to not having either of these things, some of them have aged terribly, and have a laundry list of personal problems. Most importantly though, they’re very unhappy.

Of course, some of my friends are doing really well, and seeing them is great. But does anybody sympathize with me? I’m throwing an online pity party for guys whose friends have completely fallen off. And if you’re one of the guys who’ve fallen off, and don’t like to see old friends who are “successful” because it reminds you of what a loser you are, you’re welcome to join in too.
They probably think the same about you. Except unlike you, they might actually be right.
 
I was at the mall and saw an old friend working at one of the stores. He was cool as hell in HS. He was a jock but would stand up for the nerds. I kind of felt bad when I saw him working retail at his age but he seemed happy.

latest
 
It's a strange balance for people around my age (36). I have friends that were traveling in bands in their early twenties as well as friends that were sponsored skateboarding. Fast forward to now, and they don't really have much going on in terms of a career, money, etc. On the flip side, I know a lot of others who are successful in that area, but they look 10 years older than they are and very out of shape. The first group all seems to be in shape and do not really look that much different. There are a few that found that middle ground.
 
If Bourdains suicide has taughte anything it's that you could have the most perfect life, objectivley speaking and still be absolutely miserable on the inside.

We all know fortune doesn't always equate to happiness but it's the little things that matter. Well what if you were someone like Bourdain who pretty much had it all. Ate the best food, was well respected internationally, dating a hot younger Italian broad and had all that fortune to boot and were miserable after all that.

The human condition has a level of suffering that we will never understand.
Lol dude was happy. He was "suicided".
 
Lol dude was happy. He was "suicided".
its-a-conspiracy.jpg


Dude had a long history of mental illness and drug abuse. Was rumored to have just gone through a bad breakup. Mental illness is real. People can and do kill themselves when most of the things in their life seem to be going well. Because depression isn't some logical state of mind, where you realistically weigh the pros and cons and say "it's going to well to kill myself!"


Cornell and Bennington had seemingly great lives as well. Rich, good family, lots of fans, doing what they love. They both killed themselves in a moment of solitude as well.
 
If Bourdains suicide has taughte anything it's that you could have the most perfect life, objectivley speaking and still be absolutely miserable on the inside.

We all know fortune doesn't always equate to happiness but it's the little things that matter. Well what if you were someone like Bourdain who pretty much had it all. Ate the best food, was well respected internationally, dating a hot younger Italian broad and had all that fortune to boot and were miserable after all that.

The human condition has a level of suffering that we will never understand.

And it’s so ironic that he , amongst many others, decide to take their own lives after mentioning being about to speak out against Hilary.

It’s so sad that this turns people to take their own lives.








He was murdered, look into it.
 
And it’s so ironic that he , amongst many others, decide to take their own lives after mentioning being about to speak out against Hilary.

It’s so sad that this turns people to take their own lives.








He was murdered, look into it.
This.
 
That's why it always pays to be nice to people. One day you could be the guy out on his ass.. but someone will remember that good deed you did and will pay it forward. IMO.
 
“No one could endure lasting adversity if it continued to have the same force as when it first hit us. We are all tied to Fortune, some by a loose and golden chain, and others by a tight one of baser metal: but what does it matter? We are all held in the same captivity, and those who have bound others are themselves in bonds - unless you think perhaps that the left-hand chain is lighter. One man is bound by high office, another by wealth; good birth weighs down some, and a humble origin others; some bow under the rule of other men and some under their own; some are restricted to one place by exile, others by priesthoods: all life is a servitude.
So you have to get used to your circumstances, complain about them as little as possible, and grasp whatever advantage they have to offer: no condition is so bitter that a stable mind cannot find some consolation in it.”

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”

“Learning how to live takes a whole life, and, which may surprise you more, it takes a whole life to learn how to die.”

Seneca, On the Shortness of Life
Cuts right to the heart of it. Us moderns could stand to learn a lot from the ancient stoics.
 
It's crazy how small differences get compounded over time.

In college, I had a friend that was really smart (not anywhere close to genius smart though) and charismatic. He got a consulting job straight out of college and is now partner at Deloitte making $500k+. Got another buddy that was 12 credit hours away from his bachelor's, dropped out, started working manual jobs and to this day can't keep a job for more than a couple of years, still lives at home, etc.

We were all in school together and while baller friend was definitely smarter, there wasn't an ocean of difference the way there is now.
 
if anything it makes me realize how lucky I was getting to move around growing up, see things, travel abroad, etc...

LIke I know many people who have literally never left the state (which isn't too bad if it's Cali, but what if it's West Virginia?). The last gf I had grew up significantly poorer than I did, and I never realized potential long lasting effects from that. Like so many restaurants we went to, she had never been to before. And not like Flemings or Ruth's Chris, but like Red Robin ffs.

But I feel you, I live in the poorest Incorporated city in the largest county in the US, so people with nothing going on for them is a pervasive trend. Couple that w/ the usual drug problems that stem from that, and it's pretty rough out here just finding people to associate with
 
Meh, I try not to judge. I did one time, and I had to re-evaluate my outlook.

Caught up with an old friend at a wedding. On the surface, the guy seemed like a loser. Unemployed, and living with his mother. Figured he didn't have his shit together. Not to get into any details, but I found out later that he essentially gave up everything, to take care of his mother. Couldn't bring himself to put her in a home, after she was diagnosed with some mental disease. Paid off her house, gave up his job, and moved in to care for her. Don't ask me how he gets by caring for her with no job(benefits of some kind, I'm guessing), but damn. I felt like such an asshole for thinking he was just some lazy cunt.

That's not really your fault, he's like the exception to the rule. I actually have a buddy who's 36 and still lives with his Dad. He goes around telling people he only lives at home to take care of his sick Dad but that's total BS. His Dad is 65 but he's healthy as a horse and runs multiple marathons every year.
 
I dont consider my self sucessful in life but I don't get bitter seing my friends get rich and go bigtime it is better that way because every time some of my friends go broke they ask me for money and stuff.
 
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