Someone tried to rob me at gunpoint today.

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Rod1, Mar 12, 2018.

  1. Rod1

    Rod1 Titanium Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2010
    Messages:
    43,182
    Likes Received:
    27,899
    Location:
    Sonora, Mexico.
    Done what? Its not like organized crime is in the business of robbing small business.
     
  2. MMA since 1993

    MMA since 1993 ____________

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    14,684
    Likes Received:
    7,591
    Location:
    Texas
    Well... i just watched a vid from the slo mo guys, and they were able to split a bullet in pieces with an axe.

    Granted, it would take an incredible amount of training to be able to skillfully do that, but it's possible.

    So, get on that TS.
     
  3. MMA since 1993

    MMA since 1993 ____________

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    14,684
    Likes Received:
    7,591
    Location:
    Texas
    I'm sure hey zeus has a gun too
     
    JSN likes this.
  4. thefirstemporer

    thefirstemporer Overdone and dry! Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2008
    Messages:
    12,913
    Likes Received:
    6,491
    But, you live in 1st world Mexico. Lies I say.
     
  5. bandicoot

    bandicoot Red Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2012
    Messages:
    9,423
    Likes Received:
    6,623
    Location:
    STL
    Lol you bought that? Where? The garbage store?
     
  6. Peteyandjia

    Peteyandjia Iridescent Algae Staff Member Forum Administrator Senior Moderator Administrator

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2007
    Messages:
    74,696
    Likes Received:
    88,296
    Location:
    Mountain Bar
    Mexico of peace
     
    thefirstemporer likes this.
  7. Malvo

    Malvo Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2010
    Messages:
    1,615
    Likes Received:
    2,069
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Was the word "puto" used in your profanity laced reaction?

    Glad you're ok, dude.
     
  8. Malvo

    Malvo Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2010
    Messages:
    1,615
    Likes Received:
    2,069
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    That machete used to be owned by Comandante Diablo from CDG. There are many heads on that blade.
     
  9. Broke Lester

    Broke Lester Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2009
    Messages:
    2,112
    Likes Received:
    1,122
    Location:
    416/905
    I hear Mexico is nice.

    I work with 5 guys from Mexico, they come here on work permits, they are such nice guys and hard workers, i consider them my friends first and my co-workers second. They also say that back in Mexico there are a lot of dangerous people and a lot of shady shit.

    I'm glad it worked out for you, i was in a similar situation over 13 years ago, i was also lucky.
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2018
    Bald1 likes this.
  10. JudoThrowFiasco

    JudoThrowFiasco Charming Quark Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2014
    Messages:
    21,775
    Likes Received:
    22,738
    Yeah, like regulating your revolver up that puntas ass
     
    bandicoot likes this.
  11. Jopious Extronimous

    Jopious Extronimous Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2017
    Messages:
    2,219
    Likes Received:
    4,645
    Similar thing happened to me today...

    I went to the local coffee shop, was flirting with the beautiful japanese cashier for a bit before I totally banged her in the back. Right when I was done dropping that load on lady hiroshima there was this commotion out front. Suddenly this guy busts in with two AR-15's and a strap of grenades, I quickly pulled up my Michael Kors pants I got on sale at Target, and went running out.

    "I'm guessing you didn't bring those just to measure dicks, did you hombre?" I said to the guy.

    "You shut your mou-" before he could finish I hit him in the mouth with a jumping side kick, at the same time pivoting off his face and grabbing both AR-15's from him and tossing them upward as I twist-flipped back into position. The AR-15's landed in my hands as he began to gather himself. As he came to realize what had happened, I took the time his amazement had granted me to say,

    "Hey fuck stick, would you say this blew up in your face or what?"

    Then I immediately crane-kicked him in the chest about 14 feet back, through the door, and as he was safely falling into the street I shot him about 32 times in the chest, exploding the grenades and sending a smoky mist of humanity all over the streets.

    I finally became flaccid, the japanese cashier I banged ran up and knelt down by my leg in adoration of my achievement in masculinity and alphatocity. I propped both AR's upwards as an eagle soared low behind me, looked down at the cashier and said...

    "Looks like you're gonna need to cock my gun again, pussy cheeks."

    ...as I instantly became erect again with such velocity that it tore a 6 inch by 6 inch hole right through my black Michael Kors pants that I got on sale at Target,

    Then like 20 mins later I went to work and realized I totally forgot my wallet at home. Such a crazy day.
     
    smooth assassin and Dark One like this.
  12. catzilla

    catzilla size 33 belt

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2015
    Messages:
    10,154
    Likes Received:
    17,349
    Location:
    the newest of England's
    so badass
     
    HI SCOTT NEWMAN likes this.
  13. Bald1

    Bald1 Radical Centrist

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2005
    Messages:
    12,391
    Likes Received:
    21,293
    Location:
    Canada
    -3.75 out of 10. Wouldn't read (the first paragraph that I did read) again.
     
    The Russian and Curmudgeon like this.
  14. HI SCOTT NEWMAN

    HI SCOTT NEWMAN Steel Belt Cat ✔

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2008
    Messages:
    32,279
    Likes Received:
    48,436
    Location:
    Wichita, Kansas, USA
    Damn, thats crazy. Lucky you are unharmed. I hope the police catch him.
     
  15. Jopious Extronimous

    Jopious Extronimous Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2017
    Messages:
    2,219
    Likes Received:
    4,645
    You think my life gives a fuck about math? 3.dicks out of your asshole, I'm never sharing my morning with you again. There was gonna be a sequel where I revealed what kind of coffee I got and then a prequel part where I explained why I came to pick out the pair of black Michael Kors pants that I ended up buying, on sale. But now I'm not going to because you said words.

    What's your telephone number by the way?
     
  16. Jopious Extronimous

    Jopious Extronimous Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2017
    Messages:
    2,219
    Likes Received:
    4,645
    Oh and I'm glad you're alright Rod1. But next time: step-in side elbow/disarm+retrieve combo followed by a quick 270 degree spin to a lower stance and 2 shots to the abdomen. Works every time.
     
  17. Rod1

    Rod1 Titanium Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2010
    Messages:
    43,182
    Likes Received:
    27,899
    Location:
    Sonora, Mexico.
    I dont know if its because its election year or because these cops are indeed trying to do their work but i got into a patrol car and we combed the area hoping to catch the guy, but i guess he hid in a house or the cops miscalculated the possible route.
     
    Bald1 likes this.
  18. Rod1

    Rod1 Titanium Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2010
    Messages:
    43,182
    Likes Received:
    27,899
    Location:
    Sonora, Mexico.
    Yeah, its legal, so are tazers and a lot of things like that.

    Mexican gun laws are specifically made to prevent armed uprisings and are ancient, so they ban pretty much all weapons that can fire "military grade" munitions.
     
    Strychnine likes this.
  19. The Russian

    The Russian Banned Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2017
    Messages:
    869
    Likes Received:
    902
    Location:
    Not the US
    Glad you are alive
    Pinche puto Maricon is my Spanish lesson of the day
     
  20. Rod1

    Rod1 Titanium Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2010
    Messages:
    43,182
    Likes Received:
    27,899
    Location:
    Sonora, Mexico.
    Got mace

    [​IMG]

    And i found a nice place under the desk to store the machete. I seriously wish i had a gun.

    [​IMG]
     
    Ken Fresno likes this.

Share This Page