Starting to think I don't have social anxiety, I just choose to not socialize

[revoltub]

You're talking about social situations for the young/lazy/dumb that you've outgrown.
What about normal adult social situations?

Yeah I can do those. Not for long though. Everybody starts drinking eventually.

 

[Deleted member 220895]

Sounds like social anxiety.

 

[Deleted member 220895]

Socializing is a big problem for me. I'm at a point where I'm pretty comfortable having a conversation with a stranger and I'm not scared of being seen in public. The problem is, as much as I want friends just because it's pathetic that I haven't had any since I was like 13, it also seems friendships would be too much maintenance and I'm too comfortable in the routine of a hermit (Sitting around my house reading, playing video games, shitposting in the Mayberry etc). Not being alone would be a massive step out of the comfort zone.

I got this new real estate property if you're looking for something old timey.

The HOA requires guests to answer 1 three part riddle for each pass of said property...







I kid

 

[revoltub]

Probably schizoid.

I don't think I am. I lot of those symptoms I don't have, like being unable to make friends. I can make friends I just haven't in a while.

 

[lostdog000]

there are nice people who i will avoid cuz i know they wanna converse

i'd rather not

 

[Dober4]

I don't think I am. I lot of those symptoms I don't have, like being unable to make friends. I can make friends I just haven't in a while.

Sounds like something someone who can’t make friends would say.

On a serious note I’m kind of the same way, I really don’t like attention so I’m quiet and hate social situations where i have to meet strangers.

 

[Da Speeit]

I've been watching Queer Eye with my gf, and there's an episode where they make this 18 year old kid, who is a pianist and singer, out to be this autistic retard and keep talking about how he's an "introvert" like it's some disorder and keep telling him how bad his social skills are.

Kid is forced to talk to some others at a paintballing range and is just fine. Segues into conversation perfectly even if he says some weird stuff, asks questions, listens, laughs. The only thing cringe about how is that some black homo is making him go talk to this group of brothas who notice there's a camera crew in a small georgia town and are already on guard.

It's like not everyone who is introverted has an issue. The world is full of boring, annoying, crazy people and sometimes a ninja just don't walk to talk.

 

[Renard]

Someone with social anxiety avoids social situations because they're afraid or nervous, but they're not necessarily uninterested. It's a situation of conflict of wants vs. fears. An introvert avoids social situations because they genuinely aren't interested in them. There's no inner conflict. The only conflict that may arise is if society expects more interaction from the introvert, and the introvert resents it. So basically, you an introvert boi.

Also it's worth mentioning that shy/timid people have basically co-opted the word introvert. Like social anxiety, shyness is a fear that prevents someone from doing something. Introverts aren't afraid, they're not interested.

 

[Lovestorm]

I don't think I am. I lot of those symptoms I don't have, like being unable to make friends. I can make friends I just haven't in a while.

Schizoids are capable of forming relationships with people, it's just these relationships are often due to proximity i.e. coworkers, neighbours and i suppose they're also due to necessity and being able to co-exist peacefully. These relationships serve a practical purpose for the schizoid and aren't worth a great deal otherwise.

I brought up schizoid because you mentioned you've realised that your preference is to be alone vs a desire for company coupled with the inability to cope when in company. The former is a trait associated with schizoid and the latter relates to avoidant personalities and social anxiety.

 

[FyrFytr998]

congrats, u grew up

Ended the thread on the first reply.

 

[revoltub]

Sounds like something someone who can’t make friends would say.

On a serious note I’m kind of the same way, I really don’t like attention so I’m quiet and hate social situations where i have to meet strangers.

I have friends though

 

[POWER2]

For about 10 years I've struggled with social anxiety.

Don't get me wrong, when I was in college i loved going out, partying, seeing friends, etc.

After I graduated i felt bad on my meds and decided to stop taking them. Since then my mind changed dramatically, and the socializing I used to look forward too now can't stand.

I'm starting to realize that im not "anxious" of social situations, I just don't enjoy them. I don't like being in a bar and having someone only half pay attention to what you are saying. I hate the stupid drama when people get drunk.

Don't get me wrong, I love drinking and getting "lit", but by myself. I hate being around people. I think I'm choosing this, and since ive realized this, I no longer feel ashamed of what I thought was a "mental disorder".

If it took you 10 years to figure it out, you have have social anxiety. Or you're just a underachieving coward who is avoiding being around people so you won't compare your lives to theirs.

Or both. Either way.....cest la vie.

 

[revoltub]

If it took you 10 years to figure it out, you have have social anxiety. Or you're just a underachieving coward who is avoiding being around people so you won't compare your lives to theirs.

Or both. Either way.....cest la vie.

You clearly cant read

 

[POWER2]

You clearly cant read

correction: chose not to read completely.

 

[VulcanNervPinch]

Someone with social anxiety avoids social situations because they're afraid or nervous, but they're not necessarily uninterested. It's a situation of conflict of wants vs. fears. An introvert avoids social situations because they genuinely aren't interested in them. There's no inner conflict. The only conflict that may arise is if society expects more interaction from the introvert, and the introvert resents it. So basically, you an introvert boi.

Also it's worth mentioning that shy/timid people have basically co-opted the word introvert. Like social anxiety, shyness is a fear that prevents someone from doing something. Introverts aren't afraid, they're not interested.

All true, but -
a ton of people who are afraid tell themselves they're just not interested, because that's a more comfortable belief.

 

[koolinkunming]

I have one long time friend I still enjoy talking to. And that's easy because we like literally all of the same things, and can easily go from one topic to another and have genuine interest. A lot of people want to talk about politics or world events. I don't wanna talk about that stuff to begin with, then their opinions are often stupid. IMO. I'm severely lacking in the intellectual stimulation department, and have been for some time now.


Probably makes me sound like an egotistical asshole, but I'm really not. A lot of people are just so boring and stupid and one dimensional. I dunno I don't think it's healthy, being alone so much, but it's not like this is what I intended. My social life went off the rails some time ago, and it's been drifting further off ever since. Going back to school for a bit was nice. Talking to young, smart people with passion and goals. Made me realize I hadn't really been around people like that in a long time. I've mentioned before I live in a shitty area with mostly shitty and incredibly stupid people. Moving soon, so I'm hoping once I get settled in I can force myself to get out there more. Sherdog has been the vast majority of my social interaction for longer than I really want to think about.

+Juan

 

[Organic Damage]

there are nice people who i will avoid cuz i know they wanna converse

i'd rather not

That feeling when you see an acquaintance you haven't talked to in a minute at the grocery store, and are relieved because you escape without having to talk to them.

I dunno, I just hit up the casino with some friends from out of town I see maybe once a year. Casinos are pretty much a grab bag of everything about human society I hate, but I guess anything can be enjoyable in good company. Does it make you socially anxious if you prefer no company to bad company -- or just a misanthrope?

 

[That209]

Sounds like you do have social anxiety, but it’s also true that being alone all the time can eventually become an addiction pretty much. I have these same issues. The social anxiety is really bad some days.