The addiction/depression thread.

I've had depression issues since I was about 14-15 and now I'm 27. The last 3-4 years was so bad that I had to quit my job and was suicidal. I got a shrink and just having someone to talk to really helped me a lot. About 2 years ago I got a dog, that also helped me a lot because it gave some meaning and purpose to my days.

After getting the dog I have gradually been getting better. In February this year I started working out and have been doing it consistently since (more or less, some deep depression periods and general sickness), really starting to see results and have never been stronger!

The last 2 months or I have barely felt depressed and been the best I can ever remember (even quit my anti depressants). What I've done with the energy and motivation to do things, is to learn how to dress better, eat better and look better in general. I have upped my nutrition and dressing game drastically in only 3 weeks and found I have a real passion for clothing.

Have never seen a job I actually would like to do but I'm thinking about trying to get a job as a salesperson at a clothing store for men and am pretty excited about it. Haven't had a job in 3-4 years so it's quite intimidating to think about but I'm going to continue working on making myself better for now and not stress about it.

One thing I think has helped me (no way to prove) is supplements, I take vitamin d and b, magnesium, zinc and a strong anti oxidant. All the ones I listed (except for zinc) can have an effect on depression, anti oxidants being the latest one. And of course the working out bit has also helped me quite a bit, its given me more confidence and feeling of mastery, as well as adding a bit of structure to my days.

So all in all to all of you that are having anxieties and depression, I feel for you and I've been there for a long time myself. I think I'll probably always have some depressive tendencies to be honest, but I'd like to recommend some pretty cliche things I think actually can help:
- Regular physical exercise, preferably something that you can measure (like lifting weights) to see progression.
- Trying to eat healthier and possibly try some supplements.
- Take up a hobby where you learn some sort of a skill, its important (I think at least) to get some feeling of mastery and accomplishment when you are depressed. To feel like you are still in charge and that you do have talents and not just wallowing in your own despair.
- Don't wait for motivation or some specific feeling to do things, just do them for the sake of doing them and you'll be happy you did afterwards. I rarely feel like working out (even now) but I still do it 3 times a week at around noon, and pretty much always feel better afterwards.
- If you have anxieties try getting pissed off at your anxiety, its how I overcame my social anxiety. I simply told the voice in my head that said things like (you look strange, those people are looking at you, etc) to fuck off, angrily. Then just thought about whatever else was going through my head.
- If you are depressed/got social anxiety another thing that has helped me a lot is to think of yourself as your best friend. Would you tell your best friend he was a piece of shit and that he should kill himself? Of course not. You'd be there for him and try to cheer him up and comfort him. That's what you should do to yourself as well. If I think something negative about myself I catch myself doing it and then think "now was that a nice thing to say? would I have said that to my friend? you are awesome and you know it".
- Get someone to talk to, if its a shrink, a friend or a service online where you chat with people. Getting your thoughts out of your head can very often help to ease the load of your shoulders.
- Optional but try looking into learning just a little bit about dressing yourself better, I felt better and subconsciously got a better posture and confidence simply from knowing that I was dressed well. For this I highly recommend checking out two channels on youtube: realmenrealstyle and iamalpham (they are quite different in energy and one might be more appealing to listen to than the other).

Lastly, good luck gentlemen! :)
 
I've had depression issues since I was about 14-15 and now I'm 27. The last 3-4 years was so bad that I had to quit my job and was suicidal. I got a shrink and just having someone to talk to really helped me a lot. About 2 years ago I got a dog, that also helped me a lot because it gave some meaning and purpose to my days.

After getting the dog I have gradually been getting better. In February this year I started working out and have been doing it consistently since (more or less, some deep depression periods and general sickness), really starting to see results and have never been stronger!

The last 2 months or I have barely felt depressed and been the best I can ever remember (even quit my anti depressants). What I've done with the energy and motivation to do things, is to learn how to dress better, eat better and look better in general. I have upped my nutrition and dressing game drastically in only 3 weeks and found I have a real passion for clothing.

Have never seen a job I actually would like to do but I'm thinking about trying to get a job as a salesperson at a clothing store for men and am pretty excited about it. Haven't had a job in 3-4 years so it's quite intimidating to think about but I'm going to continue working on making myself better for now and not stress about it.

One thing I think has helped me (no way to prove) is supplements, I take vitamin d and b, magnesium, zinc and a strong anti oxidant. All the ones I listed (except for zinc) can have an effect on depression, anti oxidants being the latest one. And of course the working out bit has also helped me quite a bit, its given me more confidence and feeling of mastery, as well as adding a bit of structure to my days.

So all in all to all of you that are having anxieties and depression, I feel for you and I've been there for a long time myself. I think I'll probably always have some depressive tendencies to be honest, but I'd like to recommend some pretty cliche things I think actually can help:
- Regular physical exercise, preferably something that you can measure (like lifting weights) to see progression.
- Trying to eat healthier and possibly try some supplements.
- Take up a hobby where you learn some sort of a skill, its important (I think at least) to get some feeling of mastery and accomplishment when you are depressed. To feel like you are still in charge and that you do have talents and not just wallowing in your own despair.
- Don't wait for motivation or some specific feeling to do things, just do them for the sake of doing them and you'll be happy you did afterwards. I rarely feel like working out (even now) but I still do it 3 times a week at around noon, and pretty much always feel better afterwards.
- If you have anxieties try getting pissed off at your anxiety, its how I overcame my social anxiety. I simply told the voice in my head that said things like (you look strange, those people are looking at you, etc) to fuck off, angrily. Then just thought about whatever else was going through my head.
- If you are depressed/got social anxiety another thing that has helped me a lot is to think of yourself as your best friend. Would you tell your best friend he was a piece of shit and that he should kill himself? Of course not. You'd be there for him and try to cheer him up and comfort him. That's what you should do to yourself as well. If I think something negative about myself I catch myself doing it and then think "now was that a nice thing to say? would I have said that to my friend? you are awesome and you know it".
- Get someone to talk to, if its a shrink, a friend or a service online where you chat with people. Getting your thoughts out of your head can very often help to ease the load of your shoulders.
- Optional but try looking into learning just a little bit about dressing yourself better, I felt better and subconsciously got a better posture and confidence simply from knowing that I was dressed well. For this I highly recommend checking out two channels on youtube: realmenrealstyle and iamalpham (they are quite different in energy and one might be more appealing to listen to than the other).

Lastly, good luck gentlemen! :)

This is a great list of suggestions. Thank you for sharing.

The big problem comes when you know EXACTLY what you should be doing to feel better, but you've already fallen so far down the hole that it's nearly impossible to find the motivation to do any of those things. I think in the past I've done a better job of nipping it in the bud as soon as I saw it coming. This time I've let myself fall so far into it that at this point it's hard to find the motivation to dig myself back out.

I was doing really good last year, feeling better than I had in probably a decade. Then I met a girl who suffers even worse than I do plus is an addict (dope/meth/coke pretty much anything she could get her hands on) and I had this idea that since I had just fought through so much myself and learned so much that I could help her. We fell deeply in love, I'm sure partly because we understood each other so well but there were a lot of really amazing things about her. It was by far the best and worst relationship I ever had, it got horribly toxic - she would relapse every 2-3 months and got increasingly violent and unstable. I stuck it out through so much bullshit you'd think I was insane but I loved her more than I thought it was possible to love someone and idealized the relationship as if I was going to be the one to show her true love for the first time and save her from her pain. It eventually got to be too much for me so I had to end things just last week (we broke up and got back together a few times leading up to it). Now I'm more depressed without her than I was with her and feel like I lost everything I'd gained before I met her and I'm starting from scratch all over again.
 
This is a great list of suggestions. Thank you for sharing.

The big problem comes when you know EXACTLY what you should be doing to feel better, but you've already fallen so far down the hole that it's nearly impossible to find the motivation to do any of those things. I think in the past I've done a better job of nipping it in the bud as soon as I saw it coming. This time I've let myself fall so far into it that at this point it's hard to find the motivation to dig myself back out.

I was doing really good last year, feeling better than I had in probably a decade. Then I met a girl who suffers even worse than I do plus is an addict (dope/meth/coke pretty much anything she could get her hands on) and I had this idea that since I had just fought through so much myself and learned so much that I could help her. We fell deeply in love, I'm sure partly because we understood each other so well but there were a lot of really amazing things about her. It was by far the best and worst relationship I ever had, it got horribly toxic - she would relapse every 2-3 months and got increasingly violent and unstable. I stuck it out through so much bullshit you'd think I was insane but I loved her more than I thought it was possible to love someone and idealized the relationship as if I was going to be the one to show her true love for the first time and save her from her pain. It eventually got to be too much for me so I had to end things just last week (we broke up and got back together a few times leading up to it). Now I'm more depressed without her than I was with her and feel like I lost everything I'd gained before I met her and I'm starting from scratch all over again.
I know how you feel when it comes to the rollercoaster of getting better and then starting from scratch again, its been one of the worst parts of my depression for the last year or so. What I found for me is that you simply have to try to let go of expectations about how you feel and where you are and how long its taking. You just gotta try to think "I've done this before, I've gotten better, there is no reason I shouldn't be able to this time as well. It can take days, weeks or months but I'll get better".

The part about feeling way, way down and like giving up is also something I've struggled with time and time again. To be honest I don't really have much advice on getting out of it. Usually for me it was something that somewhat passed and got better over time without me doing a conscious effort. The only thing I can think of might be trying to do small steps and rewarding yourself.

If you try to force yourself to get/feel better, and then not succeeding you feel even worse. So what I try to do is downplay negatives and hype positives.

I went for a walk today: "AWESOME, way to go me!" Maybe even reward myself with something small. You can even take it one step further make a game out of it:

Go for a walk 1 point. Eat a fruit instead of that chocolate 1 point. Say something nice to yourself when you look at yourself in the mirror instead of avoiding your own reflection or thinking something negative 1 point.
Keep track of the points on a piece of paper or whatever and when you get enough points you can cash them in for a reward you've set beforehand like a video game, going to the movies, buying a new pair of shoes, whatever motivates you.

If its a negative for instance: I lay in bed an extra hour this morning because I didn't want to get up: "No worries, sometimes you have a bad day and tomorrow'll be better".

The main thing is to not punish yourself and kick yourself when you are already down and instead try to build yourself up. It sounds silly but even talking to yourself in a positive manner over and over again will reinforce how you feel about yourself. I try to consciously give myself compliments and cheers when I do something positive and it feels sort of silly when I do it but actually pretty good too.
 
I know how you feel when it comes to the rollercoaster of getting better and then starting from scratch again, its been one of the worst parts of my depression for the last year or so. What I found for me is that you simply have to try to let go of expectations about how you feel and where you are and how long its taking. You just gotta try to think "I've done this before, I've gotten better, there is no reason I shouldn't be able to this time as well. It can take days, weeks or months but I'll get better".

The part about feeling way, way down and like giving up is also something I've struggled with time and time again. To be honest I don't really have much advice on getting out of it. Usually for me it was something that somewhat passed and got better over time without me doing a conscious effort. The only thing I can think of might be trying to do small steps and rewarding yourself.

If you try to force yourself to get/feel better, and then not succeeding you feel even worse. So what I try to do is downplay negatives and hype positives.

I went for a walk today: "AWESOME, way to go me!" Maybe even reward myself with something small. You can even take it one step further make a game out of it:

Go for a walk 1 point. Eat a fruit instead of that chocolate 1 point. Say something nice to yourself when you look at yourself in the mirror instead of avoiding your own reflection or thinking something negative 1 point.
Keep track of the points on a piece of paper or whatever and when you get enough points you can cash them in for a reward you've set beforehand like a video game, going to the movies, buying a new pair of shoes, whatever motivates you.

If its a negative for instance: I lay in bed an extra hour this morning because I didn't want to get up: "No worries, sometimes you have a bad day and tomorrow'll be better".

The main thing is to not punish yourself and kick yourself when you are already down and instead try to build yourself up. It sounds silly but even talking to yourself in a positive manner over and over again will reinforce how you feel about yourself. I try to consciously give myself compliments and cheers when I do something positive and it feels sort of silly when I do it but actually pretty good too.

Thanks for taking the time to type all this man I really appreciate it.

I just really hate what I've become. I don't like being this way I want to be able to go out and meet people and have fun the way I used to and it's pretty pathetic thinking about just going to the bar by myself and trying to avoid even making eye contact with anyone. This isn't like me at all and I hate it.

I'm gonna try to take your advice the best I can. But first I'll probably get drunk again tonight. Ugh.
 
I know theres still just under 2 months to turn it around, but this has been the worst year of my life.

Started off with my relationship with my gf of just over 2 years going from a little unsteady to completely poisonous. We'd been living together for around a year and renting out our 3 spare bedrooms using airbnb to cover the majority of our rent and expenses. She didnt always do what I saw as "her share" of the work in keeping up the rooms and house, in retrospect I was just being an overreacting asshole, and that resentment along with me starting to drink 4+ nights a week killed the relationship.

I was thrilled when she left in April and since then the longest I've gone without drinking has been 3 days. I neglected the airbnb rooms to point that I had to renegotiate my lease and get 2 actual housemates. The better one was a meth addict and the other spends all day in front of the tv and is late with rent consistently. I miss my ex a lot but thats never coming back together.

I started drinking at work, keeping a 6 pack in my car and would sneak out to pound them down periodically. This past weekend got drunk and ran over what I can only assume was a stop sign, fucked my car up, probably will cost me a couple thousand that I don't have. Plus the only things I really enjoyed were going to the gym and going to the movies. Both gone now.

I know all that is pretty minor to be saying "this is the worst year of my life" but it's really just realizing how much of a failure I am. I come from a middle class family, did well in high school, got scholarships to college and now work as a part time janitor because that's all I can do. With my personality and overwhelming social anxiety there's literally no position I could get that would pay me more and not result in me killing myself from stress and anxiety.

I fucked up my relationship. I fucked up my car. And can't help feeling like I fucked up my life.
 
Thanks for taking the time to type all this man I really appreciate it.

I just really hate what I've become. I don't like being this way I want to be able to go out and meet people and have fun the way I used to and it's pretty pathetic thinking about just going to the bar by myself and trying to avoid even making eye contact with anyone. This isn't like me at all and I hate it.

I'm gonna try to take your advice the best I can. But first I'll probably get drunk again tonight. Ugh.
No problem at all, if anything I write helps even a little I'm happy.

And again, dont judge yourself so harshly. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control and blaming ourselves isn't just pointless, its wrong. Instead of going alone, if you feel like you can handle it: ask a friend to come along. Harder to think about your negative feelings if you are interacting with someone.
 
It feels odd to like posts of this subject matter, but i think there's a beauty in the openess and sincerity in a lot of these posts.

My only thoughts is for people to be a bit selfish and live the life you want to live. Don't worry too much about what other people think, or a mould you feel pressured to fit into. Know the things you want to change, write them down, hang them up. Day after day remind yourself, and take it day by day. Build the new good habits you want to have.
 
Thanks for taking the time to type all this man I really appreciate it.

I just really hate what I've become. I don't like being this way I want to be able to go out and meet people and have fun the way I used to and it's pretty pathetic thinking about just going to the bar by myself and trying to avoid even making eye contact with anyone. This isn't like me at all and I hate it.

I'm gonna try to take your advice the best I can. But first I'll probably get drunk again tonight. Ugh.
I don't mean to preach at you bro. I'm sure you've heard this before, but try not to overdo it with the drinking. Too much will definitely make you depressed. Don't beat yourself up over it but it's something to keep in mind going forward. A little bit is cool, too much can be detrimental.
 
nothing is more pathetic than a grown man that is an addict or depressed. Grow some balls and learn some discipline.
Shaming isn't really helpful. Are we really supposed to worry about people like gonad thinking less of us? Do your thing your way. Don't worry about someone thinking you're pathetic.
 
It feels odd to like posts of this subject matter, but i think there's a beauty in the openess and sincerity in a lot of these posts.

My only thoughts is for people to be a bit selfish and live the life you want to live. Don't worry too much about what other people think, or a mould you feel pressured to fit into. Know the things you want to change, write them down, hang them up. Day after day remind yourself, and take it day by day. Build the new good habits you want to have.
Im just glad someone read part of mine.
 
The struggle is real. My health is really falling apart in recent years. Feels like every day I'm dealing with some new symptom. I've given up on pain free days.


Been trying to have a more positive attitude, and stay focused on little improvements. Compared to earlier this year things are much better, and I'm making some progress on my goals now.


My main problem remains though. I don't find much joy or entertainment in anything I do, and because of my finances and how introverted I am I live in austere isolation. It gets mind numbing, almost like torture.


Limp out of bed, get stoned. Lay around, dread work. Go to work, grumble and hobble my way through it. Go home. Get stoned again. Play videogames or sherdog or watch random vids. Wait for the cold enbrace of death


<Fedor23>
 
The struggle is real. My health is really falling apart in recent years. Feels like every day I'm dealing with some new symptom. I've given up on pain free days.


Been trying to have a more positive attitude, and stay focused on little improvements. Compared to earlier this year things are much better, and I'm making some progress on my goals now.


My main problem remains though. I don't find much joy or entertainment in anything I do, and because of my finances and how introverted I am I live in austere isolation. It gets mind numbing, almost like torture.


Limp out of bed, get stoned. Lay around, dread work. Go to work, grumble and hobble my way through it. Go home. Get stoned again. Play videogames or sherdog or watch random vids. Wait for the cold enbrace of death


<Fedor23>
Unlike....

I feel ya bro. Keep up the fight though
 
Shaming isn't really helpful. Are we really supposed to worry about people like gonad thinking less of us? Do your thing your way. Don't worry about someone thinking you're pathetic.

Gonads person is just an asshole.

Pretending to be all superior over someone who has a mental illness. It's akin to someone putting down people with cancer to make themselves feel superior. Only someone smaller than those he attempts to belittle does such a thing.
 
not sure if anyone has considered this but I'm curious to hear everyones thoughts
 
not sure if anyone has considered this but I'm curious to hear everyones thoughts


I actually have. When I was studying psychology for my prereqs I did a bit of reading on it. Not barbaric like people think, and some people get permanent relief. At this point I feel like how much worse is it really gonna fuck me up, you know? I'm already doing pretty bad as it is.
 
I actually have. When I was studying psychology for my prereqs I did a bit of reading on it. Not barbaric like people think, and some people get permanent relief. At this point I feel like how much worse is it really gonna fuck me up, you know? I'm already doing pretty bad as it is.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest basically did to ECT what Jaws did to sharks. It's a legit therapy that people discard immediately because it has bad optics.
 
Was crashing the last 2 weeks and had my social anxiety peak to where it was 7 years ago which was super strange, also was getting easily angry. Found out why luckily, I switched from l-tryptophan to 5-htp supplement and it seems it was way stronger so I got serotonin syndrome. Stopped taking it a few days ago and already feel way better (will admit it did help me with sleeping though which is why I took it).

So hot tip: read up on 5-htp before you take it.
 
This thread is still going? The world does not care if youre depressed or an addict nobody cares or feels bad for you. So you have two options man up or watch everyone else pass you by in life.

This is what happens when we have easy access to food/water and no wars....people get soft. Like a lot of dudes in this thread.
 
This thread is still going? The world does not care if youre depressed or an addict nobody cares or feels bad for you. So you have two options man up or watch everyone else pass you by in life.

This is what happens when we have easy access to food/water and no wars....people get soft. Like a lot of dudes in this thread.
I feel sorry for you.
 
This thread is still going? The world does not care if youre depressed or an addict nobody cares or feels bad for you. So you have two options man up or watch everyone else pass you by in life.

This is what happens when we have easy access to food/water and no wars....people get soft. Like a lot of dudes in this thread.

We are generation of people mainly raised by single parents and low sense of community. Back in the "wars" era, the divorce rate was pretty low and families/communities tended to stick together more.

As a kid, feeling abandoned/alienated and having no guidance can cause a lot of internal trouble when you get older.
 

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