- Joined
- May 28, 2015
- Messages
- 20,182
- Reaction score
- 42
We need a support group for those brave souls trying to hang in with Sims 4 and having an easy time resisting the urge to buy their dumb R&D's idea of what humans like to monetize
Like everyone i knew on the record sims 3 was supposed to be the perfect version of newsims
Stripped down, noisy, awkward. I know the juggle though I'll wage my war
So with trembling hand I downloaded the xbox version a few weeks back
It went through the typical console arcs:
DAY 1 everything is either sticky and darts everywhere like a crazey eyed kid or free stick aim which has the amazing intensity of a potato that suddenly accelerates.
DAY 3 controls are dumb but mostly move in straight line stickies, unless you're using the action wheel or dialogue wheel
and all choices highlight themselves via hiding from their all seeing god.
DAY 17 controls are fine whatever
DAY 18 Sims 4 startup sims are poor but generally had money to stay intact and eating sleeping pooping.
god help the poor bastard who never bought a shower/bath and thought their sims could just brush their teeth repeatedly because they can't and hes surely dead by now
DAY 19 my sims are satisfied they just drop one need bar so they will be -*BEHOLD THINE SAD MOODLET MUSICAL STING* jesus christ my tiny sim man is dying of hunger! or wait no he's just a little tired
ok its fine I just have to get used to being yelled at via Giant Symphony Orchestra every time one need bar is off about my sim
hmmmm
going to work will do all of that.
my ears will bleed every day my sim arrives home
my sims must never work
give me all the money cheats
DAY 30 my sim gets up to go grab a snack from the fridge
the journey takes him nine years as he winds his way up and around my Fabulous Riches and Architectural Doohickeys everywhere.
he arrives at the fridge a now tired and lonely man
at least i can click here here and here, speed up and stop here and he should be good to g-*BEHOLD THINE HAPPY MOODLET MUSICAL STING* yes my sim is happy- *BEHOLD THINE ARTISTIC MOODLET MUSICAL STING* sorry he looked at a sculpture, let me just*BEHOLD THINE PLAYFUL MUSICAL STING*oh god that's so hard to define is that even an advantage at all?*BEHOLD THINE SLEEPY MOODLET MUSICAL STING YOUR SIM IS NOW SLEEPY*
...alright
give me all the satisfaction/reward points cheat code
DAY 31 my sims are going to be impenetrable, now I can finally get back to designing things.
...plus the restaurant pack would be an insane plus for anyone obsessed with Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares or random business reality shows
Let me just *YOUR SIMS SUFFERS THE SLEEPIES* what, how could this be I have the Never Weary perk- *ALL PERKS/NEEDS SUFFER THE EVENTUAL DECAY OF TIME MOODLET*
but...
that's what they did before too
sims must never feel anything, or the Moodlets will come to destroy us
Day 31
my sims feel everything and it hurts them and it hurts me in a torrent of slowly atrophying entropic emotional energy
they must now run a restaurant
it makes them sad
but hey, at least my restaurant can stack perks to make increasing money forever, that's pretty cool.
So i can eventually make a bunch of - how much does one uprade cost*2,000 RESTAURANT POINTS*
okay how many do I get for completing a task*YOU GET TWENTY FIVE*
great
that might take 2 days of full work per tip increase if I dedicate everything to farming
but each perk increase is minimal compared to full staff and salary at the 5 star level
this might take awhile
well at least me and the 1,000s of dollars trained employees are cool and finally experienced and everyones hanging out let me check on the chef
Chef: I want to die
well that's not great, let me just hit "praise" him and check on how he-
Chef: I definitely want to die
jesus christ alright here's a promotion
Chef: I am happy with my job
good. Hey hostess-
Hostess: I hate this job I want to die
not you too, alright at least i have these promotions to tide them over with. So how many do I get
Four? Ok.
4 days later
hows my chef doing today
Chef: In the not-so distant future I can see myself wanting to die
well good luck with that buddy i can only hit you with two praises per day, will that help?
Chef: No.
My Sims:
WE FEEL EVERYTHING AND IT MAKES SUCH WONDERFUL MUSIC
Is there even an active thread still going on this game because it makes me sad
Like everyone i knew on the record sims 3 was supposed to be the perfect version of newsims
Stripped down, noisy, awkward. I know the juggle though I'll wage my war
So with trembling hand I downloaded the xbox version a few weeks back
It went through the typical console arcs:
DAY 1 everything is either sticky and darts everywhere like a crazey eyed kid or free stick aim which has the amazing intensity of a potato that suddenly accelerates.
DAY 3 controls are dumb but mostly move in straight line stickies, unless you're using the action wheel or dialogue wheel
and all choices highlight themselves via hiding from their all seeing god.
DAY 17 controls are fine whatever
DAY 18 Sims 4 startup sims are poor but generally had money to stay intact and eating sleeping pooping.
god help the poor bastard who never bought a shower/bath and thought their sims could just brush their teeth repeatedly because they can't and hes surely dead by now
DAY 19 my sims are satisfied they just drop one need bar so they will be -*BEHOLD THINE SAD MOODLET MUSICAL STING* jesus christ my tiny sim man is dying of hunger! or wait no he's just a little tired
ok its fine I just have to get used to being yelled at via Giant Symphony Orchestra every time one need bar is off about my sim
hmmmm
going to work will do all of that.
my ears will bleed every day my sim arrives home
my sims must never work
give me all the money cheats
DAY 30 my sim gets up to go grab a snack from the fridge
the journey takes him nine years as he winds his way up and around my Fabulous Riches and Architectural Doohickeys everywhere.
he arrives at the fridge a now tired and lonely man
at least i can click here here and here, speed up and stop here and he should be good to g-*BEHOLD THINE HAPPY MOODLET MUSICAL STING* yes my sim is happy- *BEHOLD THINE ARTISTIC MOODLET MUSICAL STING* sorry he looked at a sculpture, let me just*BEHOLD THINE PLAYFUL MUSICAL STING*oh god that's so hard to define is that even an advantage at all?*BEHOLD THINE SLEEPY MOODLET MUSICAL STING YOUR SIM IS NOW SLEEPY*
...alright
give me all the satisfaction/reward points cheat code
DAY 31 my sims are going to be impenetrable, now I can finally get back to designing things.
...plus the restaurant pack would be an insane plus for anyone obsessed with Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares or random business reality shows
Let me just *YOUR SIMS SUFFERS THE SLEEPIES* what, how could this be I have the Never Weary perk- *ALL PERKS/NEEDS SUFFER THE EVENTUAL DECAY OF TIME MOODLET*
but...
that's what they did before too
sims must never feel anything, or the Moodlets will come to destroy us
Day 31
my sims feel everything and it hurts them and it hurts me in a torrent of slowly atrophying entropic emotional energy
they must now run a restaurant
it makes them sad
but hey, at least my restaurant can stack perks to make increasing money forever, that's pretty cool.
So i can eventually make a bunch of - how much does one uprade cost*2,000 RESTAURANT POINTS*
okay how many do I get for completing a task*YOU GET TWENTY FIVE*
great
that might take 2 days of full work per tip increase if I dedicate everything to farming
but each perk increase is minimal compared to full staff and salary at the 5 star level
this might take awhile
well at least me and the 1,000s of dollars trained employees are cool and finally experienced and everyones hanging out let me check on the chef
Chef: I want to die
well that's not great, let me just hit "praise" him and check on how he-
Chef: I definitely want to die
jesus christ alright here's a promotion
Chef: I am happy with my job
good. Hey hostess-
Hostess: I hate this job I want to die
not you too, alright at least i have these promotions to tide them over with. So how many do I get
Four? Ok.
4 days later
hows my chef doing today
Chef: In the not-so distant future I can see myself wanting to die
well good luck with that buddy i can only hit you with two praises per day, will that help?
Chef: No.
My Sims:
WE FEEL EVERYTHING AND IT MAKES SUCH WONDERFUL MUSIC
Is there even an active thread still going on this game because it makes me sad
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