The World's Greatest Novel

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Drunken Meat Fist, Oct 27, 2018.

  1. Drunken Meat Fist

    Drunken Meat Fist FloobyDoop Administrator

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    shelly said the snow is gonna be stupid, but Shelley's stupid. Those hospital day are over, I know we argued over GIANT but it doesn't mean you shouldn't keep up with tha thing.
     
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  2. Drunken Meat Fist

    Drunken Meat Fist FloobyDoop Administrator

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  3. Peteyandjia

    Peteyandjia Iridescent Algae Staff Member Forum Administrator

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  4. Drunken Meat Fist

    Drunken Meat Fist FloobyDoop Administrator

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    this is my second favorite song, and she's my favorite female singer.
     
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  5. Drunken Meat Fist

    Drunken Meat Fist FloobyDoop Administrator

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    so the garbage man comes by with his fly open, right in front of the kids, those squirmy Nate Diaz eyes
     
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  6. JSN

    JSN Bitch Lasagna

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    The Brothers Karamazov is already the greatest novel.
     
  7. dormammu

    dormammu Purple Belt

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    I arrived back in LA today, it was a bitter flight, I hate when people try and talk with me on the goddamn fucking plane, just shut the fuck up already lady. This 10,000grand is burning a hole in my pocket, but first I will settle up with Mitch before I burn down McLeods world.
    @Ottawaguy
     
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  8. Ottawaguy

    Ottawaguy Gold Belt

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    Great, seems like the taxi driver’s been eating garlic non stop for days in this stinking cab. Good thing the windows actually work or I’d make fresh air by smashing it with his head. Not too much traffic at least, so the ride from the airport shouldn’t be too painful for once.

    Nothing ever changes in LA. Different days, same kind of assholes. Of course it doesn’t help that I’m renting a room next to skid row, but I’m used to this playground so it’s gonna take more than a few bums to kick me out of my sandbox.
     
  9. Aegon Spengler

    Aegon Spengler Gold Belt

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    And god damn it, might as well be in a sandbox. Did someone spill salt all over this bed? Maybe some kid wouldn’t eat his soup and started jumping up and down on a box of dry crackers.

    They told me the room was dirty. They told me not to expect much.

    But this?

    A god damn salty cracker bed?

    Someone did this to me. Someone who doesn’t want me to sleep. Someone who knows how much I hate crackers.

    Or worse, someone who wants me to call the maid. Someone waiting.

    Phones out, too. Cord ripped, real dirty like.

    What’s the play here? Fuck up my bedsheets, get me to walk downstairs with a rotten look on my face and then what?

    “Oh, Senior, I am sorry.”

    The maid looked panicked.

    “I give you wrong room key, yes? Room is next door. This room need cleaning.”

    I sigh a heavy sigh and laugh.

    “I’m getting too paranoid. Who gives a shit what room I’m staying in?”

    “Pardon me senior?”

    “It’s nothing. Take me to my room.”

    Later that night I heard a man shout about the state of his bed, then a gunshot in the lobby.

    Maybe not “too” paranoid.
     
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  10. dormammu

    dormammu Purple Belt

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    Who shall we reference you as?
     
  11. dormammu

    dormammu Purple Belt

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    "FUCK" "FUCK" "FUCK" All I could do is scream in my head, maybe I was yelling it out loud, it's all a little blurry, this little pip squeak just washed me, "Alright kid, here is your fucking money, I hope someone shoots your sorry ass, took me to the fucking cleaners on a lucky shot" "I am out this shithole" I stumbled outside into the cool evening air.

    If only I hadn't gotten high I know I would have beat him, what am I going to do now I think....
     
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  12. Aegon Spengler

    Aegon Spengler Gold Belt

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    I’m sorry I’m not sure what you mean? Are we all supposed to take on our own character for the novel? I was just following up on Ottawa’s lead
     
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  13. dormammu

    dormammu Purple Belt

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    I honestly haven't a clue, lol
    Just thought this a cool idea and tried to not let the thread die.
     
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  14. MadSquabbles500

    MadSquabbles500 Steel Belt

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    So we can add in a song?

     
  15. rearnakedchoke

    rearnakedchoke Suck it!

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    It was the best of times. It was the BLURST of times?????!!!!??!!!!
     
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  16. HenryFlower

    HenryFlower (sheesh!)

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  17. dormammu

    dormammu Purple Belt

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    @MacDuffle pick a character, add some pictures
     
  18. MacDuffle

    MacDuffle Gold Belt

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    No
     
  19. dormammu

    dormammu Purple Belt

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    Hello Mr No. It's a pleasure
     
  20. THEfightsAREfixed

    THEfightsAREfixed Purple Belt

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    Production on the farm has waned ever since my suscipions of a mutiny became known among the workers. Luckily the villages' taste for juicy fresh plums has only grown. Billy will take over the farm once the consumption has taken me to other side but with one arm and 1 & 3/4 legs I worry he may not be able to wield the rod like I have. Tell Sadie to fetch the oxen the field must be plowed and Frank has to go see his PO and take a UA.
     
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