Trailers for the past 10 Steven Seagal movies

SSgt Dickweed

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How does Sensei not have 100 Academy Awards?

A Good Man


Gutshot Straight


Absolution - lol I forgot to put in when I originally posted. This one has Josh Barnett in it.


Code of Honor


Sniper: Special Ops
 
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The Asian Connection


Cartels (with GSP)


End of a Gun


Contract to Kill


The Perfect Weapon
 
He's like a chameleon.
 
People got rustled on social media and now black people are allowed to win Oscars, so if we do the same we can prob get Seagal an Oscar
 
People got rustled on social media and now black people are allowed to win Oscars, so if we do the same we can prob get Seagal an Oscar

We just need to paint Seagal as a victim somehow.

I say we try to get an #OscarsSoVanDamme hashtag trending
 
Not gonna lie, I’d enjoy every one of them films with some beers and pizza.
 
Btw I love these movies Sensei has been churning out in Eastern Europe every few months, they are fucking amazingly bad. Incredibly enjoyably so.

If you're into that kinda thing, I recommend A Good Man for starters. He walks around the whole movie as an old fat asshole with jet-black dyed facial hair, who is unexplainably part of a special forces team otherwise filled with in-shape 30 year olds. He wears a scarf for most of the movie, talks black in certain scenes randomly, and all the hot young Russian chicks are into him for no reason. It also features the single greatest line Sensei Seagal has ever uttered in all of film history.



 
PpePlsF.gif
 
Btw I love these movies Sensei has been churning out in Eastern Europe every few months, they are fucking amazingly bad. Incredibly enjoyably so.

If you're into that kinda thing, I recommend A Good Man for starters. He walks around the whole movie as an old fat asshole with jet-black dyed facial hair, who is unexplainably part of a special forces team otherwise filled with in-shape 30 year olds. He wears a scarf for most of the movie, talks black in certain scenes randomly, and all the hot young Russian chicks are into him for no reason. It also features the single greatest line Sensei Seagal has ever uttered in all of film history.




Holy shit! The comments on that video are gold. I couldn’t even type this from laughing so hard. This one had me rolling

“Just picture being that dying guy on the ground. Those would be the last words you would ever hear uttered by another human being before being taken by the darkness. All the years of your life all build up to that moment, and it all culminates with "I will snatch every motherfucker birthday"
 
It's totally believable that an obese middle aged man with a pony tail is an active duty sniper for a special operations team. Totally believable.
 
I've literally seen all 10 of those
zero f's given
 
It's totally believable that an obese middle aged man with a pony tail is an active duty sniper for a special operations team. Totally believable.

Middle aged? He's a senior citizen.
 
The trailer for Contract to Kill is fantastic. He can't even be bothered to raise his voice above a medium whisper.
 
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