This is a pretty touchy subject on a strength forum like this. Always has been.
Performance-enhancing AAS use is surrounded by a lot of societal taboos, many of which are illogical. It is also the norm in strength & power sports. And there is a good amount of scientific ignorance, because it just hasn't been studied adequately. And there is a good amount of hypocrisy and/or wilful ignorance coming from all sides (both those for and those against).
AAS are not the devil and will not turn a cool, mindful person into a compete asshole overnight. They will probably have some effects on behaviour and mood, including some increase in aggression, though.
AAS use will not necessarily cause liver failure/kidney disease/heart failure/death. It will probably have some health side-effects, though (which may vary from individual to individual, and they will probably be more serious for higher doses, longer-term use, specific compounds, etc). Thinking that putting potent hormones into your blood stream in supra-physiological doses is "perfectly safe" is unreasonable; thinking that even sparse careful modest use is tantamount to "abusing steroids" is also unreasonable.
No, they won't "turn you into the hulk by eating Cheetos and shooting up". But they don't "just increase the amount of work you can do", either, ffs. Doing the same exact work and using AAS will get you better results (and if you use higher doses or more potent AAS you will get even better results). Using steroids will indeed increase your recovery rate and allow you to put in more work, but they can also allow you to get better results with less work.
Using AAS outside of competitive sports is a life choice. Is it cheating? Dunno... On the one hand you can get a better physique/performance with the same or less work. On the other hand you are assuming a certain cost (health risk, plus the extra financial cost, plus the hassle, etc). I guess it depends on how important you think physique/performance is important in life; if it's important for you then an average person that uses can probably go further than an average person that doesn't.
In the end, life is not fair. But you are free to make your own choices. If you weigh your options and decide you are better off not using AAS that doesn't really mean that somebody else choosing differently is unethical.