i find that when rolling with someone who outclasses me, it's really helpful to sometimes roll for the win, but other times, roll to really observe what theyre doing to you that is effective.
for me, when i roll hard and am trying pretty hard to get the tap in a roll, I get into this competitive mindset where there's a lot of instinctual thinking going on, and in part because of that, i cant even remember half of what happened during those rolls. so if im really trying to absorb from someone better than me, I need to make a conscious thought to remember what they did that just fucked me up.
and a lot of the times, ill try the same techniques they do against me against them to see how they would react to it and tease out what details im missing.
i think psychologically, you shouldnt be thinking so much about being competitive against people who outclass you so much as just getting better, and one day being able to handle them.