Ugh

FierceRedBelt

FierceRedBelt

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So here I am at 2 am on a Thursday buying candy and soda from self checkout Walmart. Haven't showered in over a day, I'm wearing clothes I haven't washed in weeks, I'm visibly obese, unshaven, and I'm half asleep and I having nothing but contempt for myself and my behavior at this very moment. Out of embarrassment I choose the furthest register away from the girl watching the area, I didn't make eye contact, and I kept my back to her as much as humanly possible. I finish up as quickly as I can and as I'm walking away from her she says thank you and to have a good evening in a friendly and unsarcastic manner. I turn back to say thank you and all I see is a friendly face who genuinely wanted to talk to me and that's when it hit me: at my absolute worst the only person in the world who can't forgive me is me.

It's so easy to start over and make things right, how do we get stuck for years living lives that we hate ourselves for?
 
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Start with changes you can manage and go from there. Small steps. Over time, with effort to can become something you're proud of.
 
What did you do that you can’t forgive yourself for? Like Christian Bale in The Machinist kinda thing? If not, then it’s not too late.

Get out of the typical Sherdogger/gamer stereotype and go do something physical and for fuck sakes do some laundry and eat and sleep better. Shit, go jackhammer some concrete for a few days. It’ll whip you right into shape.

No bullshit. Tough love time. You know what to do.
 
koolinkunming said:
What did you do that you can’t forgive yourself for? Like Christian Bale in The Machinist kinda thing? If not, then it’s not too late.

Get out of the typical Sherdogger/gamer stereotype and go do something physical and for fuck sakes do some laundry and eat and sleep better. Shit, go jackhammer some concrete for a few days. It’ll whip you right into shape.

No bullshit. Tough love time. You know what to do.
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Oh I know, I'm not looking for a guide to be better. That's easy and everyone knows that playbook.

But I do wonder why it's so easy to get stuck in the habit of doing things that we're embarrassed of and that very clearly hurt us? Like my midnight candy runs.
 
FierceRedBelt said:
Oh I know, I'm not looking for a guide to be better. That's easy and everyone knows that playbook.

But I do wonder why it's so easy to get stuck in the habit of doing things that we're embarrassed of and that very clearly hurt us? Like my midnight candy runs.
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If it’s easy to be better, then do it.

Instant gratification is awesome and addicting, and if it’s easily accessible with no immediate consequences, why stop?

Same goes for anything. Food, sex, alcohol/drugs, etc.
 
If you have a friend have them take a picture of you from behind and from the side and use those unglamorous fat shots as mota vation to do some serious gym work
 
koolinkunming said:
Instant gratification is awesome and addicting, and if it’s easily accessible with no immediate consequences, why stop?

Same goes for anything. Food, sex, alcohol/drugs, etc.
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Sure but it's candy and soda. This shit isn't that good and I'm embarrassed of myself and I hate what it's made of me.

I'm not freebasing cocaine or anything like that where being addicted would be understandable.
 
FierceRedBelt said:
Oh I know, I'm not looking for a guide to be better. That's easy and everyone knows that playbook.

But I do wonder why it's so easy to get stuck in the habit of doing things that we're embarrassed of and that very clearly hurt us? Like my midnight candy runs.
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Comfort
There is a comfort in small failures because you are not trying to succeed and test yourself so all the small slides make the big fall easier to accept and before you know it you look like kung fu panda trying to justify your rolls by your past athletic accomplishments. Trust me on this my older brother is an ex marine and all his buddies are ex Corp as well and they all basically justify their fat alcoholism by how badass they used to be.
 
@FierceRedBelt

Listen to this man, he has a plan for you and it's both powerful and beautiful:

 
I don't see how your first paragraph and second paragraph relate or the point.
 
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FierceRedBelt said:
Sure but it's candy and soda. This shit isn't that good and I'm embarrassed of myself and I hate what it's made of me.

I'm not freebasing cocaine or anything like that where being addicted would be understandable.
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Candy and soda too. Very addictive substances, the sugar and caffeine, no different than crack or cigarettes. Not to mention just the high you get/pleasurable feeling from something you enjoy. My vice is different than yours, but the concept is the same.
 
Alphaboy said:
I don't see how your first paragraph and second paragraph relaterelate or the point.
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What do you mean?he is talki about making repeated unhealthy choices and regretting the consequences despite knowing better, and he is among why we do these things to ourselves when we know better.

It’s basically Buddhism 101 Q&A
 
zapataxiv said:
Comfort
There is a comfort in small failures because you are not trying to succeed and test yourself so all the small slides make the big fall easier to accept and before you know it you look like kung fu panda trying to justify your rolls by your past athletic accomplishments. Trust me on this my older brother is an ex marine and all his buddies are ex Corp as well and they all basically justify their fat alcoholism by how badass they used to be.
Click to expand...

Oh man you nailed me. I spend way too much talking about how good I used to be; it sucks that it's so easy to do. I should make a personal pact to never mention the past ever again.
 
FierceRedBelt said:
Oh man you nailed me. I spend way too much talking about how good I used to be; it sucks that it's so easy to do. I should make a personal pact to never mention the past ever again.
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Don’t forget just work to get back some of what you lost. Part of it is growing older to you can’t realistically expect your goals to be the same now as when you were young before a family etc..
 
FierceRedBelt said:
I watched a bunch of Peterson stuff a few years ago when he was posting his Maps of Meaning lectures. It's really good stuff.
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His 12 rules for life is a 2018 publish so it'll have some new stuff. Recommend heavily! :)
 
Phlog said:
His 12 rules for life is a 2018 publish so it'll have some new stuff. Recommend heavily! :)
Click to expand...

I'm going watch it now. Thank you, take my absence from this thread as a positive thing.
 
When you wake up in the morning, clean your house, get rid of all the junk food in the house, then go on a long walk.

Every day thinknof something you can do that will my you suck less. Even if that’s just going on a walk or not eating crap food.
 
you're a slave to your pleasure chemicals and are by your own admission weak. realizing it is the first step, now change it... it's simple but challenging, just don't do what disappoints you. Find pleasure in the successful act of not doing what enslaves you. develop healthy habits and routines... but who am i to say? carry on...
 
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