Utilitarian dining

Multiple locations, white owner, and a non-Spanish name? That's definitely not a taco shop.

Weeman in a penis costume is pretty funny, though.
 
Multiple locations, white owner, and a non-Spanish name? That's definitely not a taco shop.

Teh hate is strong with this one. Just try the tacos, Lord Sidious.
 
My taco just moved 6 hours away. I ate dinner at the bar last night. Guess where I'm eating tonight?
 
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Flat tires and chicken tacos.

I've been living with a couple of friends (Nate and Paula) for the past few weeks. It's a huge house hidden in the mountains between the LA basin and the high desert of the Antelope Valley. The first thing I noticed when I saw the house is the complete lack of curtains, blinds or shades. The windows are completely bare. Seemed odd at first but I soon realized that they didn't need window dressing because there's no one around to spy on them.

The house is at the top of a steep private drive with motion sensors at the gate. If someone comes through, the house beeps at you twice and a few of the lights flicker just in case you have the music too loud to hear the beeps. And just in case you don't see the lights flicker or hear the beeps, there's video survelance at the gate and front door and displays thoughout the house. Nate is an electrician and he's rewired the entire house for the distant future. As you walk from one room to the next, you're followed by faint "clicks" of lights turning on and off.

Such automation takes serious adjustment. For the past three decades, I've hit the light switch upon entering a room and hit it again when I exit. Now I have to keep my hands in my pockets to resist the temptation. I find myself standing in hallways for several minutes at a time waiting for the "click" that signals the light in the bedroom, laundry room or pantry has gone off like it's supposed to. The anticipation could kill you. Reading a book is a passive act in a "dumb" house, but it's tiring in this house because if you don't move every so often, you'll find yourself in the dark. I think I'm developing RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) as a coping mechanism. The upside is that my calves have never looked so good. The down side is that all the cameras and monitors and automated gadgets are a little too "big brotherish" to me. It makes it kind of nerve racking to have a boner in that house. If you see me naked on youtube, you'll know why...

Paula does all the cooking and I have no complaints. She's an excellent cook. She's the kind of cook I aspire to be; one who can walk into a kitchen and make a meal out of bread crumbs, onion skins and year-old halloween candy. I have plan meals way in advance and shop before I cook. If I don't have a recipe to follow, you're better off eating your undergarments. Last night I finally convinced Paula to take a night off and let me cook for a change.

I make pretty good tacos for an equentsa ocha (white devil). I stopped by Vallarta (Mexican grocery store) on the way home and picked up the following.

8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
1 onion
1 bunch cilantro
2 small tomatoes
4 ripe avacados
24 pack of corn tortillas (I use the extra thick ones so they don't break when you fold them)

I'm usually the last one to get home. Nate and Paula typically beat me by about a half hour. Last night, there was no one home when I got there. I went to the kitchen and started preparing the meat. Then I noticed a message on the kitchen white board...

Bryan,
Nate and I both had flat tires. Will be home around 7.

-Paula

PS: We're having an early thanksgiving dinner this thursday. Would you like to attend?

After the question mark were two boxes. One for "yes" and one for "no". It took me back to the 6th grade. The first girlfriend I ever had sent me a similar note with check boxes asking if I'd like to "go out" with her. Go out where? Recess? Okay, but you can't have my swing and you don't get special treatment during dodgeball.

I checked "yes" and continued to prep the meat while pondering the probability of two romanticly linked people getting flat tires on the same day.

I marinated the chicken thighs in Sazon seasoning (look it up) and lime juice for a few hours. Then I grilled them at full blast and let them rest for 12-15 minutes before cubing.

I made my own pico de gallo with the cilantro, onion, tomato, salt and pepper.

I made my own guacamole with avacados, salt, pepper, garlic and lime juice.

Then I mixed the guac and the pico together because that's how I like it.

I warmed the tortillas in the microwave for about a minute. I normally do them on the stove top (right on the burner) but the stove I was using had weird burners so that wouldn't work.

I paired this fine meal with wild turkey 101 and a glass of water.

It was ready by the time Nate and Paula got home. Nate drives an Avalanche. It's one of the older ones with all the ridiculous plastic along the bottom. The Avalanche was no where to be seen. Nate told the story of how he had left work early and taken the freeway home like he always does. Around the time he reached his cruising speed of 75mph, he noticed a large black and silver object in the road, but it was too late to do anything about it. Nate hit what turned out to be a semi's tire/wheel. The impact destroyed both of his right-side tires and cracked/distorted the rims. He pulled over to a "safe" spot on the freeway and called for a tow truck.

Here's were it gets weirdish. Around that same time, Paula was on the same freeway about 50 miles away changing her own flat tire when she got the call from Nate asking her to pick him up at the dealership.

Two people. Three tires. Within an hour of each other. Maybe it's not THAT weird, but it sure as hell ain't normal. In other news, Nate is seeing this as a sign. And that sign reads "You need ta put you some DUBS on that A-Lanche, son!"

$2000 seems resonable for rims, right? [rhetorical]
 
That house is fucking weird. Are you still seeing your vagi....i mean your wife for thanksgiving?
 
That house is fucking weird. Are you still seeing your vagi....i mean your wife for thanksgiving?


Yep. I was up there last weekend too. Should be able to start painting the house around Thanksgiving. Woot.
 
That house sounds like it's already 75% ready for the zombie invasion.
 
That house sounds like it's already 75% ready for the zombie invasion.

They also own 2 pitbulls, but that's a double edged sword during a zombie siege. They offer a degree a protection, but sooner or later, you're going to have zombie pitbulls in your yard and that ain't cool.
 
Sounds like a pretty cool setup with that house though but I see how it can get annoying with the lights.

I have restless leg syndrome (at least I think). Been as long as I can remember. Its like im constantly playing double bass with one leg, (sometimes both) for a death metal band.
 
They also own 2 pitbulls, but that's a double edged sword during a zombie siege. They offer a degree a protection, but sooner or later, you're going to have zombie pitbulls in your yard and that ain't cool.

Good point.
 
For the record, non-zombie pitbulls are also flesh-craving, and should be preemptively treated with a shovel or chainsaw.
 
I'm not a fan of aggressive dogs either. These two seem to be pretty mellow, but they're fearful animals and I don't like fearful animals.
 
i'd like to see a pair of regular pitts fight the pair of zombie dobermans from Apocalypse.
 
^
I jinxed myself with that post and had another zombie nightmare last night.
 
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