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No answer there unless I am missing something which I am asking you to clarify.
You have said you don't always ask first.
So the question is how then 'do you always know before touching' in a way that it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to ever be wrong?
Here's what I said to cincy:
We're getting into the weeds but I would never take a girl's hand. It's too passive on her part. Instead put your hand down palm up next to hers, waggle the fingers, look at her, look at her hand, look at your hand, look back at her and 90% of the time, they take your hand. Same result except she feels like she made the decision. Makes the next steps easier.
I might be wrong about her desire or her intent but if we touch hands, it's because she took the steps to make it happen.
Returning to my earlier point. Here are rules. Tell me which ones shouldn't be there:
1) Don't touch people if they don't want to be touched.
2) Don't introduce sexuality into the work environment.
3) Keep your professional dealings strictly professional.
There's no point on the back and forth, if we can't get the rules straight.