That's not the allegation. The allegation is that he traced the tattoo even under the edge of her clothing with his finger.
I would never let some random dude physically trace anything on my body without my permission. That shit is a true boundaries violation. Ask, get permission first.
Yeah, it is. That's the whole point of understanding boundaries and what consensual behavior means. That whether or not something is OK is based on the people and the context involved. I let my boys talk shit at the bar because we're cool. I don't let my boys talk shit in a professional setting, even though we're still cool. I don't let someone else talk shit at the bar, even though it's cool if my boys do it.
Trying to be engaging doesn't require that we also try to be potentially sexual. Every married person understands the difference if they want to stay married.
No, flirting doesn't have to OK in every situation. Think through what you're saying. If flirting is always ok - is it okay to flirt while you're married? Do you want your lawyer flirting with opposing counsel in court? Flirting with the judge in court? Does it matter if the judge does not like that shit - do you turn to your attorney and say "no big deal"?
People have the self-discipline to pick and choose WHEN they flirt.
Listen, I can debate this all day but it really boils down a very simple principle. Our actions are always subject to the interpretation of those we interact with. Regardless of our intent, how others perceive those actions matters.
To swing legal for a minute:
Battery - an unwanted touching. That's the basic definition pretty much everywhere. It does not matter why Person A touched Person B. It matters if Person B wanted the touching. Now compare that your earlier concern about flirting being OK sometimes and not OK other times. Battery, a centuries old legal concept, uses the exact same reasoning. Whether or not something is OK turns on how the recipient felt about it in that singular circumstance. It doesn't matter that they were fine with it yesterday, it doesn't matter if they were fine with it from one person and not another. In that singular moment - did they want to be touched by that other person?
Trespass - intentionally entering someone's property without permission. It doesn't matter why you entered the property. It matters if they agreed to let you do it. Entering someone's yard to get your ball. Okay with permission. Criminal without permission.
Theft - taking someone's property without permission. Take someone's ball from their yard. Okay with permission. Criminal without permission.
Over and over again, the criminal code tells us that an important difference between allowed and disallowed behavior is if you received permission before you acted.