When Presidents sound retarded

I always play "what I would have said". It's always witty and poignant and took me like 3 days to come up with.
I'd make an awful politician. I'd start telling rambling stories I thought were hilarious, then look out into the crowd at the horror, my staff wildly gesturing like third base coaches
 
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You know what the thread is about and what you need to do to stop looking like a little bitch. Step up to the plate, bat in hand, ready to swing.
No crying.
No crying?

Not exactly the vibe I got from your initial post.

I bet if I made a compilation of Hillary sounding/looking stupid, your pacemaker would explode!
 
No crying?

Not exactly the vibe I got from your initial post.

I bet if I made a compilation of Hillary sounding/looking stupid, your pacemaker would explode!
why are you trying to ruin a funny thread with unfunny stuff?
 
Because WAR TRUMP, that's why.
that's pathetic man. this is about making fun of presidents who say dumb shit, not sucking up to them because of mommy issues
 
that's pathetic man. this is about making fun of presidents who say dumb shit, not sucking up to them because of mommy issues
Oh, my bad! Here's a vid about someone you and @Overpressure wish were president. It's a barrel of monkeys!

 
I figure there's lots of material for a thread like this from decades of leaders. Let's begin with our current Oval Office disaster.

"North Dakota is an inspiring example of the amazing things that are possible when we unleash the genius of American innovators, unite the red tape (sic) --and I'll tell you and we have to unite everything and all that red tape becomes beautiful when you get rid of it, but, and we're getting rid of-- are we getting rid of a lot of red tape, by the way...?"
Thinly-veiled anti-Trump thread.

The salt mines continue to overflow!

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I'd make an awful politician. I'd start telling rambling stories I thought were hilarious, then look out into the crowd at the horror, my staff wildly gesturing like third base coaches
I think I'd start bumbling on about my dad, then look around and realize I'm so far away from where I'm supposed to be. Eventually it would turn into "what the bleep am I even talking about?"
<JagsKiddingMe>
 
I think I'd start bumbling on about my dad, then look around and realize I'm so far away from where I'm supposed to be. Eventually it would turn into "what the bleep am I even talking about?"
<JagsKiddingMe>
My staff would be telling me, "You're NOT a stand up comic, nobody wants to hear your bizarre drug fueled improvising. When you asked that woman in the front row if her tits were real, where was that going? What's wrong with you?"
 
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Jacob Zuma, says:
  • "This continent is the biggest continent in the world. All continents put together will fit into Africa."
  • "A shower would minimise the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS."
  • “When I joined the ANC, I never thought I would be anything. In no way, did I say, 'One day I could be the president. I think I am good material for the presidency.' Not at all.”
  • “…The people love him [Robert Mugabe]. So how can we condemn him?”
  • "I think my organisation, the ANC, comes first [before South Africa]"
  • "South Africans cannot believe that a man who never went to school is the President and that is the reason why he must be attacked 24/7…"

He really shines when it comes to numbers though. I'm not typing these out, 'cos I don't know how to type out the numbers he's trying to say:

 
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