Would you be cool with your wife/gf hanging out with a guy friend?

Apparently according to experts itt men are compelled to fuck anything female at all times. Prepare for my dick to detach itself and go scurrying across the floor at you like the hand in adams family.
1. When did I go from large disgusting hairy blob to female?

2. Good reason for me to stab it.

3. But I’ve got my handy dandy chastity belt in place!!!
 
depends is "hanging out" code for fucking?
In that case no.
 
1. When did I go from large disgusting hairy blob to female?

2. Good reason for me to stab it.

3. But I’ve got my handy dandy chastity belt in place!!!

4. DID YOU KNOW THE 5TH SEASON OF PEAKY BLINDERS IS FILMING!!!? AHBHHHBHVFFSX6ESRJ6558E!!!
 
Some possessive dudes itt, so the guys saying no, do you let your woman leave the house, or ya afraid she will cheat?

Not afraid shell cheat but also dont believe you should create a situation where someone can develop a crush or be in an inappropriate situation. Men and women are hard wired to fuck each other and its asking for trouble just to prove how chill you are. You are supposed to give a fuck about your marriage and not be careless with it

I know a guy and some of you might know him too

He let his wife go on a friend date with an old friend from high school

his daughter calls that guy dad now because he wanted to prove how cool progressive and non controlling he was

Theres a reason the divorce rate is so high and its not that everyone is a bad horrible person , its that certain impulses are hard to deny and forever can be a really long time
 
it is clearly an insecurity issue. There is no projection there on my part.

Guys who think that there gal having a male friend will lead to cheating is by definition an insecurity. That is exactly what the word means so I used it correctly. Guys saying 'straight men don't..." are projecting as they are trying to speak for all men when they can only speak for themselves.

Like @thoughtsone above I have never been concerned about who my ladies friends were. If she finds someone she wants to be with more than me she is free to leave. no issues. I am not try to trap or control or limit her interactions in the hopes of controlling her to make her stay and be loyal. She either wants to stay and be loyal or she does not and if not, then go. I honestly feel sorry for guys so paranoid and so desperate to convince themselves they have taken some level of control and are preventing their gals from cheating. FLOL if they can convince themselves of that.

And I don't have any issue with you and your S.O. setting your own boundaries. I am not knocking that. I am knocking the naive machismo that makes these guys feel Alpha when they say 'they would not ALLOW their woman to...' and then think others are being beta if they are more secure than them. Sorry guys but you can really do nothing to stop your woman from having an affair if she wants one. You need her to not want to as you CANNOT stop it.

I respect you Mike, I'm also principally behind your rational here, I do have a different take on it though and it might be because of personal flaws but there you go:

I actually don't feel comfortable having close relationships with women whilst in a relationship, in no small part because it protects my current relationship by not allowing greater attachments to form.

I can't think of a close female friend I've had that I wouldn't happily get with were I single. I have female associates I wouldn't want to bang but it seems there is a difference.

I think opposite sex close friends are either a potential relationship on the back burner or there is the risk that feelings may develop, for either party that would be inappropriate.

So it's more that I respect and value my relationship with my wife so much that I build a wall around it. I guess also I don't want to let any ladies I really like to hold a candle for me, I want them to be fully into their own relationships too.

With regards to my wife's behaviour, it's not that I would seek to control her, it's that I kind of expected her to draw similar lines as I do with her male friends. To a only slightly lesser extent she does. I think public vs private liaisons is probably the primary distinction, it would be weird if she organised a one on one with a male friend.

Saying all that i started to consider how we've got university friends we've known 20 years and I'd be 100% OK with a private meeting happening with them, but then they're pretty much family. Fucking contradiction.. Also my wife is not like other women, she is 100% nice 0% bitch, the yin to my yang as it were.

Also on re reading your post I see now we pretty much agree anyway. I'm blaming just waking up!
 
Ignorant..

I don't understand what people don't get about not going out and hanging out with opposite sex friends. Its about respect for your fucking partner. It's about reducing the chances of temptation. But oh no, its apparently wrong to ask that she not put her self in situations were she will be tempted.. Same shit applies to men but @MikeMcMann just doesn't think such a thing is possible..
You don't get it and that's fine but your tone sucks. Talking about respect. I don't know what kind of girls you're dating but if you don't trust them that's your problem and you shouldn't make it theirs.

And @Bamboozled talk to me not about me.. thanks
 
Yea. I am.

But that does not change my mind. I have been reading about this for weeks now as this exact issue of infidelity is part of a story I am writing. So far in all the forums I have been in all the so called platonic friendships always lead to cheating. They never saw it coming. They just kept getting emotionally closer and closer until oneday the dam burst. That is why I am against her hanging out with men. It establishes intimacy. If it continues that emotional closeness will build and build.

How many women with platonic opposite-sex relationships are going on relationship forums to talk about how they meet up with an old friend for coffee once a month? People don't go on plumbing forums to talk about how their toilet flushes fine. I suspect your sample is inherently biased.
 
Not afraid shell cheat but also dont believe you should create a situation where someone can develop a crush or be in an inappropriate situation. Men and women are hard wired to fuck each other and its asking for trouble just to prove how chill you are. You are supposed to give a fuck about your marriage and not be careless with it

I know a guy and some of you might know him too

He let his wife go on a friend date with an old friend from high school

his daughter calls that guy dad now because he wanted to prove how cool progressive and non controlling he was

Theres a reason the divorce rate is so high and its not that everyone is a bad horrible person , its that certain impulses are hard to deny and forever can be a really long time
So do you not allow your wife to work or are you just a nervous mess each and every day she goes to work since that is one of the lead places she will develop a friendship with a guy and cheat if she is so inclined to?

How do you deal with that?
 
I respect you Mike, I'm also principally behind your rational here, I do have a different take on it though and it might be because of personal flaws but there you go:

I actually don't feel comfortable having close relationships with women whilst in a relationship, in no small part because it protects my current relationship by not allowing greater attachments to form.

I can't think of a close female friend I've had that I wouldn't happily get with were I single. I have female associates I wouldn't want to bang but it seems there is a difference.

I think opposite sex close friends are either a potential relationship on the back burner or there is the risk that feelings may develop, for either party that would be inappropriate.

So it's more that I respect and value my relationship with my wife so much that I build a wall around it. I guess also I don't want to let any ladies I really like to hold a candle for me, I want them to be fully into their own relationships too.

With regards to my wife's behaviour, it's not that I would seek to control her, it's that I kind of expected her to draw similar lines as I do with her male friends. To a only slightly lesser extent she does. I think public vs private liaisons is probably the primary distinction, it would be weird if she organised a one on one with a male friend.

Saying all that i started to consider how we've got university friends we've known 20 years and I'd be 100% OK with a private meeting happening with them, but then they're pretty much family. Fucking contradiction.. Also my wife is not like other women, she is 100% nice 0% bitch, the yin to my yang as it were.

Also on re reading your post I see now we pretty much agree anyway. I'm blaming just waking up!
Ya I am not against you or couples setting their own personal boundaries. Do what works for you.

I am addressing the guys who state they would not allow their woman to do X in the belief that somehow will prevent her cheating and also that it makes them Alpha and guys who do not do similarly are cucks or beta.

Set your boundaries if you mutually desire. Knock yourself out. But be very aware that if your gal is inclined to cheat you have done nothing to prevent that. She will find someone at work or the coffee shop or the grocery store or online and it will take her all of 15 minutes to do so. So the Alpha guy has stopped nothing and the only one he has fooled is himself.

If you don't want your S.O to cheat focus on having a good relationship with her as the 'I will control her to ensure she doesn't...' won't work.
 
So do you not allow your wife to work or are you just a nervous mess each and every day she goes to work since that is one of the lead places she will develop a friendship with a guy and cheat if she is so inclined to?

How do you deal with that?

work and hanging out are 2 different things
 
work and hanging out are 2 different things
Ya work leads to more affairs.

Work absolutely creates situations where someone can develop a crush or be in an inappropriate situation. Remember men and women are hard wired to fuck each other and its asking for trouble just allowing her to go to work. You are supposed to give a fuck about your marriage and not be careless with it so why would you allow your S.O to go to work? Why would she let you?
 
I'm wondering what the breakdown is between the yes's and no's as far as the population of where they live and if they had female friends growing up.

If I were to guess, I'd say most of the guys saying 'No' grew up with just a gang of guys as friends, are from/live in areas with smaller populations (<500,000?) where "valuable" women are scarce, and/or just from an older generation.

Going forward, if I get into a relationship and she has male friends, I'll probably be more upfront and say I want to meet them. If by chance she refuses that or asks why, I'll either explain my past experience or drop her. Always another one out there.

This has always been my personal rule in these situations. I've got a few close female friends that I highly value, so whenever I do start dating someone with any kind of serious intent, I have them meet ASAP. I want her to see first-hand what our friendships entail and if she can do the same, then it's all good. Now, if I get the vibe that the friend wants her, I'll just straight up tell her that's what I think, and even if she disagrees, that seed is planted and then she'll unconsciously be looking for those signs (I guess).
 
You certainly will not see him or any of these guys talking about 'trust' or creating a positive home life. Everything is about control and hoping that they get Islam like results from the control to keep their S.O's from cheating.

It is really quite pathetic.

And its pathetic in more than one way. Its pathetic because it makes them feel they are doing something effective when they are not. Its pathetic because they then lie to themselves when the S.O goes off to work or to the grocery store that they have actually done something to prevent it when they have not.

How about creating an environment where your S.O wont want to cheat on you instead of thinking you can force an environment where she cannot which he'll never achieve.
You can create all the positive enviroments you want, but if emotional intimacy is established between her and a guy she will fuck him. Cheaters in this very thread have come forward and said as much and you ignored them.

YOu can be attentive, and put in the time, keep in shape all of that shit and they still cheat. You act as if that shit is fool proof. It isn't and any quick search on google only proves my point.
 
Damn! I didn't know this thread will spread like wildfire. I'm gonna try to catch up if it's possible. Good discussion gentlemen.
 
So do you not allow your wife to work or are you just a nervous mess each and every day she goes to work since that is one of the lead places she will develop a friendship with a guy and cheat if she is so inclined to?

How do you deal with that?
You deny deny deny that friendships lead to emotional intimacy? Why? When that is the prime thing causing cheating. That is why you should, out of respect for your partner not put yourself into situations where you will be tempted, or can create emotional closeness with another person not your partner.
 
You deny deny deny that friendships lead to emotional intimacy? Why? When that is the prime thing causing cheating. That is why you should, out of respect for your partner not put yourself into situations where you will be tempted, or can create emotional closeness with another person not your partner.

Hypothetical question: If you were the other guy that was friends with a woman that wasn't single, do you feel like you would go for it and try to sleep with her?

also, do you have a distinction between creating emotional closeness with someone after the fact vs. already having that closeness before you were in the picture?
 
You can create all the positive enviroments you want, but if emotional intimacy is established between her and a guy she will fuck him. Cheaters in this very thread have come forward and said as much and you ignored them.
I don't ignore them. I am just not a child like you.

If i or someone else in this thread say 'I've never cheated' does that mean no one else did or does?

Just because some people in this thread cite their affairs does not mean every wife will cheat. Grow up.

YOu can be attentive, and put in the time, keep in shape all of that shit and they still cheat. You act as if that shit is fool proof. It isn't and any quick search on google only proves my point.
Nothing is fool proof and that is the point. You thinking you are keeping her from having a male friend is NOT fool proof in preventing an affair especially when more affairs happen in the work place.

So again I ask you about that. Will you prevent your S.O from working, going to the gym, going to the coffee shop or being on social media to try and control her from having an affair?
 
You deny deny deny that friendships lead to emotional intimacy? Why?
Once again I will just point out you are liar as I have never said or suggested any such thing and you certainly can't quote me saying that.

Can a friendship lead to emotional intimacy? Yes it can. Does every friendship lead to it? No it does not.

When that is the prime thing causing cheating. That is why you should, out of respect for your partner not put yourself into situations where you will be tempted, or can create emotional closeness with another person not your partner.
Going to work is the prime thing leading to affairs (or one of them) so again what are you going to do about that?
 
I don't ignore them. I am just not a child like you.

If i or someone else in this thread say 'I've never cheated' does that mean no one else did or does?

Just because some people in this thread cite their affairs does not mean every wife will cheat. Grow up.


Nothing is fool proof and that is the point. You thinking you are keeping her from having a male friend is NOT fool proof in preventing an affair especially when more affairs happen in the work place.

So again I ask you about that. Will you prevent your S.O from working, going to the gym, going to the coffee shop or being on social media to try and control her from having an affair?

I never said she cant go to those things, only that establishing emotional closeness with another man is off limits.

and you did ignore them by not addressing the fact I have brought up repeatedly. It really is simply, increasing emotional intimacy increases the risk of sex. It is best to avoid such temptations if you respect yo ur partner.
 
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