DARK PHOENIX (First Critics Reviews; Tracking for $50 Million Opening Weekend)

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X-Men: Dark Phoenix will be an adaptation of "The Dark Phoenix Saga," generally regarded as the greatest X-Men story ever told.

Motherfucker says what?

Dark Phoenix is the greatest X-Men story ever told?

Great story? Yes.

Classic? Yes.

Greatest ever? When was this established?

Give me Storm with a mowhawk and no powers still jacking mutant punks up with a quarterstaff over some ditsy egotistical ginger bitch with attachment disorder anyday.

Longshot? Mojoverse? Mutant Massacre? Mr. Sinister? But apparently Dark Phoenix is the be all, end all. Hello, McFly anybody home?!?!

[Cajun accent] And if they do New Mutants without any input from Ann Nocenti it's gonna suck a big back of ebola infested monkey dicks, I guarantee [/Cajun accent].
 
Motherfucker says what?

Dark Phoenix is the greatest X-Men story ever told?

Great story? Yes.

Classic? Yes.

Greatest ever? When was this established?

Give me Storm with a mowhawk and no powers still jacking mutant punks up with a quarterstaff over some ditsy egotistical ginger bitch with attachment disorder anyday.

Longshot? Mojoverse? Mutant Massacre? Mr. Sinister? But apparently Dark Phoenix is the be all, end all. Hello, McFly anybody home?!?!

[Cajun accent] And if they do New Mutants without any input from Ann Nocenti it's gonna suck a big back of ebola infested monkey dicks, I guarantee [/Cajun accent].


yes, dark phoenix was better than all those.
 
I just can't believe that there's been 17 years worth of X-Men films, and they couldn't figure out a way to correctly set up and execute the phoenix saga. You can't just have Jean Grey get introduced in Apocalypse and all of the sudden go into Dark Phoenix mode in the sequel, that just won't work. The audience barely knows who she is and she hasn't had time to establish any kind of relationships with the other characters, especially Cyclops who is central to the arc in the comic books.

It's amazing that the best translation from the comic books to film is still the 1990's animated series. It's 25 years old and was made on a minimal budget, but still did a much better job of adapting the characters and story from the source material. Get your shit together Fox.

And God I hope Jen Lawrece does not return. Her character arc makes no sense in the current movies. She goes from "Mutant and PROUD!!" in First Class to barely showing her true form at all in Apocalypse. Fucking stupid.
And why is she the main character and a hero, she's a slippery whore that does her work in the shadows not a hero
 
im curious to see if they can bring cyclops to center stage, where he belongs.
 
They should do a Nightcrawler/Quicksilver scene. 2 of the best scenes in comic book movie history combining into 1 would be great.
 
Happy they're doing another X-men movie, but I don't have high hopes for the Phoenix saga, mainly because of Sophie Turner. She was just awkward in Apocalypse, and her American accent is terrible. She sounds like a teenage boy with a cold going through puberty. I don't see how they would hang the franchise around her neck for the next film.
 
Motherfucker says what?

Dark Phoenix is the greatest X-Men story ever told?

Great story? Yes.

Classic? Yes.

Greatest ever? When was this established?

Give me Storm with a mowhawk and no powers still jacking mutant punks up with a quarterstaff over some ditsy egotistical ginger bitch with attachment disorder anyday.

Longshot? Mojoverse? Mutant Massacre? Mr. Sinister? But apparently Dark Phoenix is the be all, end all. Hello, McFly anybody home?!?!

[Cajun accent] And if they do New Mutants without any input from Ann Nocenti it's gonna suck a big back of ebola infested monkey dicks, I guarantee [/Cajun accent].
Mutant massacre was great, one of my favorites. Mojoverse? What the fuck are you smoking?
 
Mutant massacre was great, one of my favorites. Mojoverse? What the fuck are you smoking?

Mutant Massacre was GOAT-level. Not least because you rarely saw that kind of body-count in main stream comics back then. It also had a genuinely chilling sequence where Psylock is chased through the X Mansion by Sabertooth.

It also crossed over with other comics; I think Thor gave the dead Morlocks a Viking funeral at one point.
 
I'm calling it now, somehow Mystique morphs into the Phoenix to battle Dark Phoenix.
Please don't give them ideas, this exactly the level of retardness the writters are operating on.
 
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I just can't believe that there's been 17 years worth of X-Men films, and they couldn't figure out a way to correctly set up and execute the phoenix saga. You can't just have Jean Grey get introduced in Apocalypse and all of the sudden go into Dark Phoenix mode in the sequel, that just won't work. The audience barely knows who she is and she hasn't had time to establish any kind of relationships with the other characters, especially Cyclops who is central to the arc in the comic books.

It's amazing that the best translation from the comic books to film is still the 1990's animated series. It's 25 years old and was made on a minimal budget, but still did a much better job of adapting the characters and story from the source material. Get your shit together Fox.

And God I hope Jen Lawrece does not return. Her character arc makes no sense in the current movies. She goes from "Mutant and PROUD!!" in First Class to barely showing her true form at all in Apocalypse. Fucking stupid
.

That's not the problem. The problem is she goes from eye candy who can act, to Mutant terrorist to field leader of the X Men and pretty much saviour of the fucking world. Again, I love me some JLaw. She's a fine actress. But Mystique was never more than B List at best, and that doesn't change because you've got an A List actress in the role.

Mysitque's powers make her perfect for cool shit like spying and the occassional assassination. In FC, she only uses her powers once in combat, to distract Azrael by morphing into Shaw. By DoFP, Lawerence was one of the biggest stars in the world, so they basically wrote the film around her and made her central to the plot. It actually worked; Trask using her DNA to give the Sentinals their ability to adapt to Mutant's powers and kill them was a nicely creepy touch. The film was well written and stongly performed by a heavyweight cast.

But she should never have returned for Apocalypse, or at least not in such a prominant role. The idea that Mystique can somehow lead the X Men, most of whom are more powerful than her, into combat against a being like Apocolypse is laughable. Her greater, "experience" is irrelevent, since she mostly works alone to rescue other Mutants. She has no more experience of leading the team than Beast. Her powers are literally useless against En Sab Nur; the one time she tries to fool him, she gets rape-choked.

Of course, It's certainly not JLaw's sole fault that Apocalypse was a great, steaming turd of a movie. But she should still cut her losses from the franchise.

Oh, and the reason we rarely see Mystique in her blue form is that by the third film, JLaw was a big enough star to limit the amount of time she would have to spend wearing uncomfortable make up.
 
The new Jean Grey actor is shit. Holds too much weight in her face. Prefer the refined and elegant original trilogy Jean. She was also hot in Nip/Tuck, despite playing a transgender.
 
I thought they did an OK job with Apocalypse, but there wasn't enough time to introduce all o the new X-men, the 4 horsemen (including recruiting them) and still find a way to shoe horn J-Law in as some sort of leader.
I agree in that the worst thing about the film was trying to cram in so much in so little time.
 
I remember quite enjoying Apocalypse. Wasn't brilliant by any means, but was watchable.
 
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